Trying to decide whether to tell my father...

by **Dita** » Sun Nov 23, 2014 5:22 pm

Yeah. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who makes excuses for their faults. Idk I'm just not interested in downplaying my faults or making excuses for them. My thoughts are ###$ up and i'll be the first one to say it and I'm not gonna lie to myself by saying it's okay because i'm not acting on them.

Dita wrote:Yeah. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who makes excuses for their faults. Idk I'm just not interested in downplaying my faults or making excuses for them. My thoughts are ###$ up and i'll be the first one to say it and I'm not gonna lie to myself by saying it's okay because i'm not acting on them.

Cool. Now, as you have probably already noticed, thought suppression doesn't work; it makes the unwanted thoughts more persistent. Instead the more successful strategy is usually to try and just let them pass by like watching leaves on a stream or cars on the street. They come and go. Just passing by. If we don't engage a thought, don't let ourselves get drawn in by it, it dissolves in a few seconds and is forgotten.

by **Dita** » Mon Nov 24, 2014 5:15 pm

Yeah the problem i'm having though is I don't feel like I have the control to NOT engage the thoughts. :/ That's where i'm at now. But i've just started the process of getting therapy and stuff for it. i actually have an appointment at this new place today so we'll see how it goes.

And i meant to watch that video you posted but i forgot, i'm gonna watch it later when i get home.

by **rainbowstar** » Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:12 pm

Yeah the problem i'm having though is I don't feel like I have the control to NOT engage the thoughts. :/ That's where i'm at now. But i've just started the process of getting therapy and stuff for it. i actually have an appointment at this new place today so we'll see how it goes.

Good luck with your appointment. Try to have fun or crack a joke, or at least a smile.

Yes, it can be very difficult not to take the bait when a juicy thought flashes in our mind! It takes a while even to get the concept that you are not your thoughts.

You are not your thoughts: http://youtu.be/h62vlSj0KNg

by **Dita** » Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:16 pm

Well I didn't crack any jokes lol I cried most of the time. I always feel so hopeless when I leave appointments

idk im just in so much pain right now.

by **rainbowstar** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:02 pm

Sounds like you're hurting a lot. Maybe a good thing? Anguish is usually just ultimately meaningless self-torture by mind-games we play on ourselves. But, it also can be emotionally painful to grow and to let old things go which could be positive.

by **Dita** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 6:17 pm

i don't know right now :/ i'm probably gonna end up going to an inpatient place out of state. I don't feel like i can focus on getting better being in the real world, I just have SO many triggers and i don't feel like I have control, and i don't know how to get control.

by **Maligan12** » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:06 am

I live contentedly without anyone offline knowing my secret. I think I have fairly good relations with my parents who are teachers. I plan to never tell them.

I guess I had some practice from hiding that I looked at pornography for so many years.

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