Did anyone else get this message?

-have you/do you watch cp? how do you feel once you have watched it?

enosnow11 wrote:-when did you realise you were attracted to children? was it something that you have always felt (or at least since you were sexually aware), or did it manifest suddenly?

Awareness came largely alongside my general sexual awakening during puberty. It took some time to work out the details, but I became aware of my sexual preference for children the same way anyone works out who or what they are attracted to. I found fantasizing about little girls was more satisfying than fantasizing about adults.

enosnow11 wrote:-have you ever told anyone about your attraction to children? (i.e friends/family)

I started being open in my online identity, where no one could know both my real name and my orientation at the same time. Eventually, I came out to a close friend (and someone I had a crush on), because I couldn't stand not knowing whether knowing the truth would make her hate me or not. Her response was confusion over why I was so worried. I've subsequently told both of my parents, and another close friend. So far, my trust in their basic decency and ability to keep a secret have not been misplaced.

enosnow11 wrote:-have you ever sought help/treatment for your paedophilia? If so, what happened?

There is no treatment for pedophilia. It's a sexual orientation, and as such any "treatment" is going to be along the lines of the ex-gay camps that both fail to "cure" homosexuality and do tremedous psychological damage to the person subjected to them.

Beyond that, even if it were possible to reorient myself, I would not subject myself to such a procedure, because I value the sanctity of my mind and personality too highly to give that up for the sake of normalcy.

I have not sought professional assistance with the stresses of living as a celibate pedophile in a culture that hates me, both because I don't expect they'll be able to do much of anything to help with that stress, and because medical privacy is a joke and I don't trust a psychiatrist with my life like I do everyone else I've allowed to know both my name and my orientation.

enosnow11 wrote:-have you/do you watch cp?

That's a more complicated question than you imagine. Child pornography is not well defined in law, and as such, could include nothing more than a string of text I could type to you right now which would leave you guilty of possession in multiple jurisdictions.

I look at non-nude child model images, and I look at explicit drawings known as lolicon. I read and write stories involving explicit sexual activities between adults and children.

What generally comes to mind when people say "child porn" though, no, I don't make use of it.

enosnow11 wrote:how do you feel once you have watched it?

When I look at child model images, lolicon, or just read an erotic story, I feel aroused, presumably the same thing "normal" people feel when they're looking at "normal" pornography. After I finish masturbating, the arousal goes away and I feel relaxed.

I don't look at images of children being sexually assaulted, not because I feel any particular moral objection to the idea of looking at such images current law be damned, but rather because the sympathy I have for the abused kids in said images is sort of a mood killer.

Yes, some of them might not be being abused, but I know for sure that no one's being abused in a drawing or a text string.

enosnow11 wrote:-if you do/have watched cp, would you say it increases/decreases your desire to have real sexual contact with a child?

It does neither. Using erotic imagery as a masturbation aid makes it easier to masturbate and relieve sexual tension, but that's pretty much the extent of it. My desire to have real sexual contact with a child may wax and wane with my state of arousal or sexual tension, but in general, it's permanently something I would very much like to do, and permanently something I recognize I can't do because of the risk to said child.

enosnow11 wrote:-does your paedophilia have a big impact on your everyday life?

Only in so far as I'm still single and not really dating. Only a handful of adult women are attractive to me, and even there, it isn't enough of a motivator to put myself out there in the dating scene, which looks singularly unappealing in and of itself.

enosnow11 wrote:-has your attraction to children ever caused you to be in trouble with the police? if so, what happened?

The police don't know about my attraction to children, so it can't have caused me to be in trouble with them. I've been quite careful about who finds out, and I've been successful in keeping myself hidden, both from the police, and from dangerous vigilantees who worry me a good deal more than the police most days.

enosnow11 wrote:-if you do not already have one, has being attracted to children discouraged you from starting a family?

My disinterest in dating other adults has prevented me from marrying, so you could say it's discouraged me from starting a family. If you're asking if I'm worried about the risk of me potentially molesting my own kids were I to have them, the answer is no. I'm quite confident in my self-control, and if I weren't, I'd be taking steps to have myself committed or otherwise removed from society for the protection of others.

enosnow11 wrote:-if you suffered a personal crisis do you think it would make you more likely to seek sexual contact with a child?

No. During a crisis, sex is generally the farthest thing from my mind. I'd be at far higher risk of committing a random shooting than I would of molesting a child under high stress. Especially since the fact that I like kids is my main reason for not having sex with them (since I don't want them to be harmed by the social reaction they would be subjected to otherwise) and under stress, I'm unlikely to blame them for the problems in my life.

enosnow11 wrote:-what changes (if any) would you like to see implemented in the current child protection laws?

I'd like to see the age of consent eliminated and replaced with something like the RMSC. In fact, I'd like to see all age lines eliminated and replaced with competence tests where applicable.

Beyond that, I'd like greater weight to be given to the child's opinion when they end up involved with law enforcement, whether because they've been "victimized" or because their parents are fighting over custody. Children are people, and I'd like to see them treated as such more often than our society currently does.

enosnow11 wrote:-what would you say to someone to try and help them understand paedophilia better?

For someone who's brand new, I'd start with the distinction between pedophiles and child molesters.

FBI numbers indicate 90% of child molesters are not pedophiles to being with, and other studies have indicated that pedophiles make up more than 20% of the population. Not only are pedophiles unlikely to molest kids, but we're statistically less likely to molest kids than a nonpedophile is.

There's plenty of other things I might say depending on the specific misconceptions they're laboring under, but that one's common enough and dangerous enough that I'd probably lead with that if I wasn't expecting to say anything else to the person.