Strong romantic feelings

Tululaboo wrote:

BlackStrat wrote:My relationship with him has been one of the most beautiful and painful things I've ever experienced.

Love and any romantic feelings are the most wonderful thing in the world to have and experience but for me, all it has ever given me is a lot pain in the end. For reasons, I will never love again which saves me pain but also keeps me in a deep depression.

I know exactly what you mean. But honestly, for all the pain this has caused me, I would do it again in a heart beat. I think the reason I felt such horrible depression was that I had never experienced such fulfilling happiness, and I'm not sure I ever will. It's better than any drug, and it's far more addictive. It's caused me to do a lot of soul searching and find out who I really am as a person. I'm really sorry about your little friend It get's better over time, but it's always there.

So to answer your qustion ctithe, yes it was worth every second. I didn't know I was capable of feeling this strongly about anything. I never understood how it felt to want to keep giving and giving to someone, or how it felt to not be able to imagine your life without someone. It's really an overwhelming experience.

Loving someone, even if it's unrequited, puts everything into perspective, and makes you realize how most things are pretty trivial in comparison.

Finally! A thread with the topic I'm looking for since I signed up.

To OP's question - Yes, I posted about it here in fact.

As an update to that thread, it seems that both of us couldn't let it go, and we're still talking to each other. We randomly talked about going skydiving together. In fact, there was an occasion on the road trip where we "hit it off" where I had a chance to go bungee jumping with her. I chickened out because I hate heights (I have trouble even jumping off a diving plank at a pool), and made up for it by going on a flying fox ride with her instead. She then proceeded to bungee-jump alone, where she just jumped off without the hesitation displayed by the other jumpers. She literally has no fear - one of the things I find attractive about her.

A minor detail I didn't mention in that thread is that I first met X when I was 8, like in the case of ctithe. Unlike ctithe's case, there was nothing romantic at the time (on my side anyways), but we got along exceptionally well. Now, I usually don't have much to say to kids (in fact I almost never engage in conversation with them), but she was an exception. We talked for 3 hours in a room while our parents watched vacation videos in another (we're family friends). When the conversation ended and she left the room, she did something unexpected. She looked over her shoulder and did a kind of "come hither" look.

Back to present day, it's been 5 months since the trip where we hit it off. We're separated by age, laws and countries. And we've been messaging each other on a near-daily basis since then.

And nope, there's no lust. If we're talking about pure physical lust here, I like t&a/curves on mah gurls - to put it rather crudely. She has none.

So, to answer OP's questions:
1. Anyone here ever fallen in love with a child?
Yes, and I'm still in love with her.

2. What was your experience like, on the level of feelings?
- Ecstatic and awkward at the same time at the beginning.
- I find myself wishing from time to time that I was a preteen, or that she was older, so it would be 'OK' for us to be together
- I feel better with her around, and I don't know what'd happen to my mind if she was no longer in my life for real. If there were such thing as soulmates, I think she'd be one.

I have fallen in love with children more times than I can count. I really thought that each time that I fell in love with a child that this was the child where it was going to be much more than just sex but it never was. I mean before getting caught and serving time in prison I had some relationships with children that lasted a long time and I felt like they lasted a long time because I was in love with the child and that is why it lasted so long. I think that I always loved my victims but I think it was just for the moment and that was it.

I love so passionately and unconditionally, it only makes it a billion times harder when it's with a child, which that is the position I'm in right now.

I think I'm realizing lately that I try to convince myself that it's not wrong, by saying I love him and care about him deeply, and that i'm sexually attracted to his personality, not his body. But i am extremely sexually attracted to him and the thought that he is young excites me. And there are other boys that i've loved/been sexually attracted to.

So i don't know..i'm starting to think maybe i'm in denial about the whole thing.

I know I do truly love this boy a lot. And that's what makes me feel the worst, because i don't want to hurt him.