Do any of you use drugs to cope?

I feel like I will never be able to stop thinking about what I might end up missing out on in life. At 21 I have never dated. While I am still sexually attracted to people my own age, I get the sense that my romantic/affectionate feelings might be stuck in the early teenage years. I fear that I will never be able to form an intimate relationship and basically fall in love with an age appropriate adult. Never will be able to have a legit marriage is my fear.

Sometimes I feel like I would be better off shooting dope into my arms. Who uses drugs to cope? If you do, what do you use?

I smoke weed, but lately it has been making me feel more worried. Low doses of alcohol can sometimes take the edge off, but too much will cause me to go into depressed mode. I love opiates. They make me feel euphoric regardless of the problem at hand. I haven't been using drugs much lately because I know it is a slippery slope to use for depression. But I'm thinking about ordering some kratom (it is a plant with opiate like properties).

I need a drug that can take my mind out of this tailspin it is constantly in. Anyone else use drugs?

I'm glad someone finally brought this up. About a year ago I started smoking weed and drinking with my friends. It was all just for fun no real harm being done. But then, when I started realizing that I didn't feel the same feelings for girlfriend that I did for little boys, I went into what I call the "denial stage" of pedophilia. I started getting extremely depressed and smoking a lot of weed just to escape my own mind, but I found it started making things worse. Alcohol on the other hand, makes me forget everything in the short term but I feel like total s**t the next day. So it basically doesn't help anything either.

Using drugs for depression is a terrible idea. Especially something addictive like opiates. Trust me, I'm the child of two recovering crack addicts (I know that's not an opiate). It can very easily spin out of control and take over your life.

And I also have the same fear about never getting married. All I want is to have a family and it doesn't seem possible, so I know how you feel.

Honestly I have never thought about used recreational drugs to help but I have considered chemical drugs to help bring down my sexual apatite so I am interested in seeing how this may help or hinder others.

I don't think It is wise for me to use drugs for medical reasons but still, I am interested to see.

Tulula.

lostinlife wrote:I feel like I will never be able to stop thinking about what I might end up missing out on in life. At 21 I have never dated. While I am still sexually attracted to people my own age, I get the sense that my romantic/affectionate feelings might be stuck in the early teenage years. I fear that I will never be able to form an intimate relationship and basically fall in love with an age appropriate adult. Never will be able to have a legit marriage is my fear.

I totally understand, and I felt the same way through most of my 20's. I cannot change my inability to fall in love or develop romantic attractions, but I did still manage to find my best friend and marry her. People can be compatible for many, many reasons, and just because you may not have a certain type of intimate relationship does not mean you are precluded from having lifelong companionship. It's not an easy search, but you still might find someone you trust who allows you to be yourself and enjoy life.

lostinlife wrote:Sometimes I feel like I would be better off shooting dope into my arms. Who uses drugs to cope? If you do, what do you use?

I smoke weed, but lately it has been making me feel more worried. Low doses of alcohol can sometimes take the edge off, but too much will cause me to go into depressed mode. I love opiates. They make me feel euphoric regardless of the problem at hand. I haven't been using drugs much lately because I know it is a slippery slope to use for depression. But I'm thinking about ordering some kratom (it is a plant with opiate like properties).

I need a drug that can take my mind out of this tailspin it is constantly in. Anyone else use drugs?

I smoke weed regularly (actually, mostly high-grade hash). It doesn't help with depression much, but I look at it as a "fun" thing I allow myself to enjoy given that I may never be able to pursue my own sexuality.

Drinking can help with the depression at first, but that obviously can end up enhancing the depression over time, so I try and limit any drinking to no more than a few nights a week (even if just a single drink). I've never been a full-blown alcoholic, but I got a taste of what that might be like when I was depressed last winter. That was enough to keep me on my toes now...

I've never tried opiates, and I hope never to do so. I've seen it ruin the lives of a lot of people, and I just don't need to get involved in that (or any narcotics, for that matter). I have no doubts that opiates make you feel great--but I'm sure you know the danger that can lead to.

I also use psychedelics 1-2 times per year (usually mushrooms or LSD). In the proper set and setting, this has helped me tremendously with self-acceptance and personal growth.

I've recently tried to focus on distraction techniques to deal with depression, such as playing chess or absorbing myself in work. It doesn't take away my desire to smoke weed, but it does provide an extra source of stability to help from losing control.

The thing is for me, I am gay and also a pedo/hebephile. I just came out of the closet as gay to my family and friends. I also told my parents about my attraction to children and they have been very supportive and are trying to get me the help I need. I have seen a few therapists who have all been very accepting and non-judgmental.

Basically the therapists have told me that I need to get out into the gay world asap. I haven't ever dated and have only had a few sexual experiences in my life. At 21, that is way past due, at least in my eyes. The psychologist I saw yesterday who specializes in pedophilia told me I need to be having sex with other gay men and really get involved in the gay world in order to have my adult attractions manifest. He says I should really try to avoid being around children and avoid fantasies about children, because that will only throw fuel on the fire. Right now, I need to throw fuel on the fire of my adult attractions.

Anyways I feel like I have been thrown into panic mode like fight or flight. Like I have to act now. My future depends on it. I don't know how I am going to step out into the gay world with all this on my mind.

I need a drug that will make me just go with it, and not think about the "what ifs". I am hoping kratom will help with that.

lostinlife wrote:The thing is for me, I am gay and also a pedo/hebephile. I just came out of the closet as gay to my family and friends. I also told my parents about my attraction to children and they have been very supportive and are trying to get me the help I need. I have seen a few therapists who have all been very accepting and non-judgmental.

Basically the therapists have told me that I need to get out into the gay world asap. I haven't ever dated and have only had a few sexual experiences in my life. At 21, that is way past due, at least in my eyes. The psychologist I saw yesterday who specializes in pedophilia told me I need to be having sex with other gay men and really get involved in the gay world in order to have my adult attractions manifest. He says I should really try to avoid being around children and avoid fantasies about children, because that will only throw fuel on the fire. Right now, I need to throw fuel on the fire of my adult attractions.

Anyways I feel like I have been thrown into panic mode like fight or flight. Like I have to act now. My future depends on it. I don't know how I am going to step out into the gay world with all this on my mind.

I need a drug that will make me just go with it, and not think about the "what ifs". I am hoping kratom will help with that.

I can heavily relate to everything there, it was not long ago that I came out to my friends and family either not just about my sexuality but also my gender issues, only my mum knows that I have an attraction to children but nothing else was ever said about that. Anyway back on topic, Im 24 so not in a too much different situation to you but having said that I have had adult relationships both with men and women.

You could always look up to see if there are any gay friendly clubs in your area and if it anxiety holding you back for the most part then you could just ask some friends of even family to tag along for few times until you get more comfortable. It may seem like you have to act right away but do not rush yourself, take your time and just see what happens.

I really should practice what I preach but there are complications for me but I wish you the very best of luck in finding someone. It does not have to someone you become intimate with but someone who just gets the person you are and understands you

Feel free to message me if your ever in need of a chat, Ill always be around.

Tulula.

lostinlife wrote:I haven't ever dated and have only had a few sexual experiences in my life. At 21, that is way past due, at least in my eyes.

It's frustrating, for sure, but you're not alone. I didn't have sex until 26, and I didn't really date until just a few years before that. A long-time friend of mine came out as gay in his mid-20's, still a virgin, and it took him a year or so in the dating world to find a partner he trusts.

Instead of being overwhelmed by trying to fit into any broader "gay community", perhaps you could focus on just finding one or two gay friends you can hang out with and be yourself?

warforged wrote:

lostinlife wrote:I haven't ever dated and have only had a few sexual experiences in my life. At 21, that is way past due, at least in my eyes.

It's frustrating, for sure, but you're not alone. I didn't have sex until 26, and I didn't really date until just a few years before that. A long-time friend of mine came out as gay in his mid-20's, still a virgin, and it took him a year or so in the dating world to find a partner he trusts.

Instead of being overwhelmed by trying to fit into any broader "gay community", perhaps you could focus on just finding one or two gay friends you can hang out with and be yourself?

That is definitely a goal of mine, to have some gay friends that I am just friends with and can hang out with on a regular basis. But I do also want to get laid haha. The right hand can only do so much.

Anyways, your post made me think that maybe all us pedophiles need another pedophile friend or two in real life. I mean we all have this forums to go on and get support. But I would also like to find a pedophile friend in the real world. Someone that is friends with me and truly understands and knows first hand what I am going thru because he is going thru it himself. I mean after all, misery loves company.

lostinlife wrote:Anyways, your post made me think that maybe all us pedophiles need another pedophile friend or two in real life. I mean we all have this forums to go on and get support. But I would also like to find a pedophile friend in the real world. Someone that is friends with me and truly understands and knows first hand what I am going thru because he is going thru it himself. I mean after all, misery loves company.

I long for that most days, just to actually physically see and talk to someone face to face would probably mean a great deal to most, I know it does me but for me anyway I highly doubt that would ever happen. It just like getting a hug from someone when your feeling down, that physical presence makes a difference.

Tulula.