i just told a friend im a pedophile

so yeah i just told a friend, this is the second person ive told

everything seemed to go pretty well she got quiet when i told her(that was hell)
but she seemed pretty ok with it, she said if i acted on it she would kill me, thats understandable
i went on to tell her that i can control it and that it's an attraction not a predisposition to rape,
everything seemed ok we talked for a few hours afterwards like nothing had happened

im still on the fence about how i feel about all of it, i mean i feel better but also im scared as hell
it just makes it all feel to real, i kind of feel like crying and screaming why me again like i did about a month ago, that did make me feel better tho, this all just feels surreal

Good for you siphon. I'm really happy to hear it went well.

I've had that conversation a few times. It hasn't gotten any easier for me yet. But every time, it feels like a burdon being lifted.

You put your fate in someone else's hands, and they didn't use it to hurt you.

Very brave of you. Well done.

That's awesome, I'm really glad things went well with her
I'm sure everything will be fine! Hope you feel better about it soon.

I told a friend, who was actually a very unique person. He was not judgmental at all. But as a rule, I would never disclose such a thing. Most people are idiots as it is. Why give a person that much power over you, in a culture such as ours? This was your judgment call, but time may tell whether or not this decision will come back to haunt you. I will say this much: there is some relief in being able to talk to someone about what you're really like.

YouthRightsRadical wrote:Good for you siphon. I'm really happy to hear it went well.

I've had that conversation a few times. It hasn't gotten any easier for me yet. But every time, it feels like a burdon being lifted.

You put your fate in someone else's hands, and they didn't use it to hurt you.

it really doesn't get easier lol the moments before you let the words come out are just shear terror lol
thanks for the support YRR

elfie24 wrote:Very brave of you. Well done.

thank you elfie24

skeleton-countess wrote:That's awesome, I'm really glad things went well with her
I'm sure everything will be fine! Hope you feel better about it soon.

i feel better about it today it should be fine i think i was just stressed out
thanks countess

Gerste wrote:I told a friend, who was actually a very unique person. He was not judgmental at all. But as a rule, I would never disclose such a thing. Most people are idiots as it is. Why give a person that much power over you, in a culture such as ours? This was your judgment call, but time may tell whether or not this decision will come back to haunt you. I will say this much: there is some relief in being able to talk to someone about what you're really like.

your friend sounds a lot like my first friend i told, i could tell him anything and he wouldn't bat an eye, but my friend is also an emotional robot and not much help with stuff like this lol
im glad you have a friend to talk to about this stuff thanks for the support

i have to disagree with you on some of what you said tho, they only have power over us if we give them that power over us after we tell them, i mean sure it's scary coming out but isn't this what we are all fighting for? to be out and accepted for who we are and to show the world that we are not mentally ill or the monsters they make us out to be?
we just have to take small steps

XD thanks again everyone you all made me feel way better

I have had a colleague (who is also a friend) confide in me about her pedo inclinations. I did not return the favour; I merely contended to offer a friend's supporting shoulder. In my profession, it is not wise to make such avowals -- and indeed I think she was careless and naive in doing so, for women are no longer exempt from the prejudices that go along with this particular form of paraphilia. She was lucky it was me and not some ill-intentioned busybody that received her shrift. Of course, it is also possible she had sensed something in me, had felt that I was safe -- a kindred spirit, if you will -- but this I do not know for certain since she did not ask me directly.

I have told my dad. I wanted to explain dear old daddy why his amiable daughter is not dating men or is never going to get married. No, she is not a dyke. She just fancies a lad over a bloke. Daddy knew me well enough to not question my assessment of my own sexuality and simply sighted that I did, in that case, have a much heftier cross to bear than any one he had ever had or would hope for his child. I assured him I was quite untroubled by the issue. (This was of course a bit of a stretch, extended for daddy's benefit, as pedophilia, no matter how well accepted by oneself, is never made completely devoid of emotional anxiety, I think... especially if the love bug bites one often and avidly.)

Gerste wrote:I told a friend, who was actually a very unique person. He was not judgmental at all. But as a rule, I would never disclose such a thing. Most people are idiots as it is. Why give a person that much power over you, in a culture such as ours? This was your judgment call, but time may tell whether or not this decision will come back to haunt you. I will say this much: there is some relief in being able to talk to someone about what you're really like.

I gotta agree with Gerste on this. Putting such a big part of you in someone else's hands is a risky decision that could backfire on you when you least expect it. I don't mean that your friend will eventually use this information against you, I only mean that you might regret this decision later on, with or without a valid reason.
I for one deeply regret having told my close friends about my pedophilia, and one other friend about necrophilia. But I don't know, that's just me. Even though none of my friends touched the subject again, I still feel like it wasn't the best decision of my life, that's for sure. Alright, it meant getting a huge weight off my chest, but still...did they really have to know?

So all I hope for you is that you won't regret it in the end

Well I think it's a brave, daring, and brilliant thing to be able to tell someone. I never have, but I've considered it. Of course it can backfire, and of course it can end miserably, but if you trust someone enough to take that chance and if it goes well, then that seems to me to hold a value unparalleled. Not just because you have someone to talk to, but because someone has accepted you. The hardest part, after all, is the asking for acceptance with the overwhelming fear of rejection. Bypassing that sounds, to me, like a huge and beautiful step. Congratulations, siphon!

thanks for the kind words of support HumanBeing, i have to say very eloquently put too.