I'm a pedophile with no goal.

ineedhope wrote:

airwolffan wrote:Don't know where you are ineedhope but I'm in the UK it took over 8 months here to get forensics back on my computers and that was after I told them what was on it and where.

I could have shown them in 2 minutes what there was and where, but they will find anything even if you didn't know it was there. They found five files on a computer I did not even think there would be anything on.

They will search your internet history and anything they can including email addresses and dig up anything they can so please be prepared and honest if questioned as I'm sure honesty is the best policy in the long run.

But again best of luck and I'm sure you will get back to normal one day if you want it badly enough.

Wow! 8 months?! That's more than I expected...

I know they will find EVERYTHING and I'm very open about it. I've made clear that there I may not know the full extent of my relatively tiny 'storage' due to me having some old computers that I haven't used for a while, and they appreciate the cooperativeness.

What I feel more 'worried' about is actually not what they will find, but the sense of privacy being disregarded. I know they're doing what they have to do, but as of now the feeling I find the hardest is actually that part with the privacy.

I had no large storage, not many files, didn't share anything anywhere and have never had contact to any other people with my problem before I joined this forum, which I'm glad I did.

honesty is the way to go and I have aided in expanding the police's knowledge about the deep web (TOR) and other places that, in my opinion, should be closed down asap.

I can understand that you are in a similar situation as I? Did you experience the entire "world is burning" sensation? And if so, any tips on how to cope on a daily basis?

Thank you for understanding man.

Yeah 8 months crazy I know but true, I'm now getting nearer and nearer to 12 months since my arrest and one court date away form finding out my fate. But I am trying to remain hopeful.

For me without a very wonderful friend and the Lucy faithful foundation and then subsequently telling my mum I have no idea how I would have coped as I have.

Yes there are bad days and good days, when I can just forget all about it they are good days and just live a normal life.

2 police interviews, one day a few hours in the cell as my brief didn't turn up had to wait for duty solicitor, one court hearing at Magistrates referred to crown court and so far that is the extent of it.

Next step is probation service then my court date and my future in the hands of the judge.

I won't say it is easy as it isn't by a long shot, but while very few people know it is manageable, if it goes in the paper then it becomes a lot more difficult.

Oh and I get the bit about your privacy, but sadly we lose that right when we do something wrong, my stuff will be forfeited and not returned so it's a loss of stuff I paid for too, one I expected I would get back, plus the loss of personal photos and documents etc, that hopefully I am going to get back but still waiting on that.

OK first of all, this isnt something to be so chilled over. I get that you are in the phase of "big weight off my shoulders and i can finally get help" no it doesn't work like that. Trust me. I went through it 7 years ago. The detectives will butter you up, make you feel all safe, talk nice to you just so they can get you tell them anything else you have done that they could charge you for.

They will say that they are there to help you and the family. This is #######4. Trust me. I know how it works. They don't care about you, the victim or the family.

I was in the state of "I did something bad I deserve to be punished" The one that got me out of it was my older sister. She made me get off my ass and helped me get legal aid. If I didnt, I would have been in prison for 15 years.

They police aren't there to help you or your family. Their job is to lock you up and make your life $#%^. Get a lawyer, shut the hell up and if there is anything at all that you think could get you into more trouble, sort it out asap.

Patrik wrote:OK first of all, this isnt something to be so chilled over. I get that you are in the phase of "big weight off my shoulders and i can finally get help" no it doesn't work like that. Trust me. I went through it 7 years ago. The detectives will butter you up, make you feel all safe, talk nice to you just so they can get you tell them anything else you have done that they could charge you for.

They will say that they are there to help you and the family. This is #######4. Trust me. I know how it works. They don't care about you, the victim or the family.

I was in the state of "I did something bad I deserve to be punished" The one that got me out of it was my older sister. She made me get off my ass and helped me get legal aid. If I didnt, I would have been in prison for 15 years.

They police aren't there to help you or your family. Their job is to lock you up and make your life $#%^. Get a lawyer, shut the hell up and if there is anything at all that you think could get you into more trouble, sort it out asap.

I'm unhappy you see things this way and I'm sorry to hear you had a bad time.

I see your message and I understand it, but please refrain from being rough'n'tough, nothing good will come from that.

I will make a guess that you live in the States, to which I can reply that I do not. I've been given, free of charge, a lawyer to handle my case and furthermore the legal-system has offered help to me in the shape of counseling and handling my pedophilia issues. I've declined this help, seeing as I have already contacted several institutions with that very goal in mind.

You mention I am 'chilled'. I can assure you that I am in NO way 'chilled' about any of this. I'm coping with this entire ordeal by rationalizing my current situation and from this you might deduct some things, but honestly I believe there to be a rather shallow possibility of a proper understanding of my mindset.

I understand this to be a relatively US dominated site and will therefore not take it personal the way you try to take me down, even if that wasn't your actual intent, in the matters of 'what to do' and 'what the police is trying to do'.

Furthermore, my acceptance of "I did something bad I deserve to be punished" stance is completely rational and in compliance with the idea of following societal expectations. I am taking the chance to get a clean conscience and by being compliant with the police I will help myself to an easier time legal wise as this will, in my country, be taken into account when court day comes.

I hope you have a pleasant day/night.

He was trying to help. The United States is far from the only place where the police tell suspects they can help them in an effort to trick them into incriminating themselves. Stay safe.

I would suggest telling them you won't talk to them without having an attorney present.

ineedhope wrote:I will be fighting with my problem with help from pro's for the rest of my life and I am super willing, for I know what I am is wrong!

That could be. Sounds kind of sux mind you...

I heard about this guy. He never had any intimate interaction with minors, he had a few legal problems, but they were due to his writing and art work which was related to the pedophilia subject.

You might be surprised, but this guy didn't actually believe there was anything wrong with intimate relationships between adults and children. It could be that this or that particular relationship was hurtful, but he didn't necessarily condemn all adult-child relationships. This guy was very well educated about the topic, he read a lot of books, and scholarly articles, and did a lot of counseling and therapy work too. Interestingly, he actually went on to live a pretty normal life, he met a woman he really loves and he is attracted to, and he's planning to get married to her this year.

Just wanted to share that story as it might be a surprise to you to know that not everyone believes pedophiles and adult-child relationships are always wrong (though some may be), and that some people have actually moved on with their life; I understand he still finds some little girls cute and sexy but it doesn't interfere with him living a normal happy life.

Well, children cannot consent to a sexual or romantic relationship. At the same time, I don't think it will necessarily "ruin" their life as people claim it will. It isn't comforting I'm sure, but children who were molested still can move on from the situation and go on to live happy lives too. Many child molesters who were pedophiles as well could have simply been misguided into thinking that children were able to give consent to sex, and didn't realize how a child could have said yes, but not really meant yes.

That's basically why I don't think someone who is a reformed child molester really is or was a monster. It is only if they are coercive, violent, and get off by hurting others is when I think they were a monster. If they are genuinely remorseful, went through therapy, and have taken the necessary steps to correct their ways, I don't see why I couldn't get to know them on a friendship level, and I say that as a childcare worker who has never molested anyone. They probably wouldn't be someone I would ask to babysit my kids, but not someone I would consider a monster I would want dead either.

Society tends to take other people's mistakes and judge them instead of focusing on their own. It's a big mistake yes, but not anything you don't deserve forgiveness or happiness from. People tend to assume that any kind of lewd act or molestation was automatically done out of violence and hatred for children, when that isn't usually the case.

rainbowstar wrote:

ineedhope wrote:I will be fighting with my problem with help from pro's for the rest of my life and I am super willing, for I know what I am is wrong!

That could be. Sounds kind of sux mind you...

I heard about this guy. He never had any intimate interaction with minors, he had a few legal problems, but they were due to his writing and art work which was related to the pedophilia subject.

You might be surprised, but this guy didn't actually believe there was anything wrong with intimate relationships between adults and children. It could be that this or that particular relationship was hurtful, but he didn't necessarily condemn all adult-child relationships. This guy was very well educated about the topic, he read a lot of books, and scholarly articles, and did a lot of counseling and therapy work too. Interestingly, he actually went on to live a pretty normal life, he met a woman he really loves and he is attracted to, and he's planning to get married to her this year.

Just wanted to share that story as it might be a surprise to you to know that not everyone believes pedophiles and adult-child relationships are always wrong (though some may be), and that some people have actually moved on with their life; I understand he still finds some little girls cute and sexy but it doesn't interfere with him living a normal happy life.

Thanks for sharing man. In my country, back in the 70's, I've read there was an actual organization for the legalization of sex with minors. I will say that I personally believe that it is wrong. Children may in some way or another have a sex drive, but they do not understand it and it should not under any circumstance be interacted with by adults. I regret my actions and I will say that I look down upon those who honestly believe there is nothing wrong with molesting/loving children.

-- Fri Jan 31, 2014 7:19 pm --

JackM678 wrote:Well, children cannot consent to a sexual or romantic relationship. At the same time, I don't think it will necessarily "ruin" their life as people claim it will. It isn't comforting I'm sure, but children who were molested still can move on from the situation and go on to live happy lives too. Many child molesters who were pedophiles as well could have simply been misguided into thinking that children were able to give consent to sex, and didn't realize how a child could have said yes, but not really meant yes.

That's basically why I don't think someone who is a reformed child molester really is or was a monster. It is only if they are coercive, violent, and get off by hurting others is when I think they were a monster. If they are genuinely remorseful, went through therapy, and have taken the necessary steps to correct their ways, I don't see why I couldn't get to know them on a friendship level, and I say that as a childcare worker who has never molested anyone. They probably wouldn't be someone I would ask to babysit my kids, but not someone I would consider a monster I would want dead either.

Society tends to take other people's mistakes and judge them instead of focusing on their own. It's a big mistake yes, but not anything you don't deserve forgiveness or happiness from. People tend to assume that any kind of lewd act or molestation was automatically done out of violence and hatred for children, when that isn't usually the case.

Thanks for the pad on the shoulder. I still have many thoughts on how to get onwards and I hope that the world has more people like you, than the people I expect to meet (The ones who high-five me in the face with a chair).

And maybe one day I will find someone who might even love me, despite my past...

ineedhope wrote:Thanks for sharing man. In my country, back in the 70's, I've read there was an actual organization for the legalization of sex with minors. I will say that I personally believe that it is wrong. Children may in some way or another have a sex drive, but they do not understand it and it should not under any circumstance be interacted with by adults. I regret my actions and I will say that I look down upon those who honestly believe there is nothing wrong with molesting/loving children.

You and I are as close to opposites as I think we're likely to find. I oppose the current law, but stay within it as I lobby for legal and social change in an attempt to create a world where such relationships are safe. You support the current law but couldn't stay within it, exposing a child to all the risks, censure, and hardship I want to see ended. Seems the one thing we have in common is that we both look down on eachother.

I oppose the current law, but stay within it as I lobby for legal and social change in an attempt to create a world where such relationships are safe.

How exactly would you make the relationships "safe"? Legalizing adult-child love isn't going to necessarily make children understand or want sex with an adult. You can't expect children to be able to make the same decisions as adults. That's why they're called children.