is it incest fantasy?

I noticed that it happens to me that I think of something that without any doubt is incest.
I think: "what if that little girl I am attracted to was my cousin?" and then I think I would be attracted to her anyway, maybe even more.
I am a little bit confused about it, why do I get thoughts like this? Why do I sometimes desire that particular little girl I am sexually attracted to was my cousin?

It's possible that it could be simply a fetish for the taboo (I'm this case). Of course we can tell for certain without some more of your history when it comes to this delema. I'm adopted And my fiancé are so similar in the way we think, our personalities, our appearance (to a degree) and most of our paraphilias, fetishes and neurological conditions. We both often fantasize that we could be related and it is a big turn on for both of us. However, incest has been intrinsic to us both since we developed sexual urges.

Could you provide us with more information?

Ghost147 wrote:It's possible that it could be simply a fetish for the taboo (I'm this case). Of course we can tell for certain without some more of your history when it comes to this delema. I'm adopted And my fiancé are so similar in the way we think, our personalities, our appearance (to a degree) and most of our paraphilias, fetishes and neurological conditions. We both often fantasize that we could be related and it is a big turn on for both of us. However, incest has been intrinsic to us both since we developed sexual urges.

Could you provide us with more information?

Information about incest in my life history?
There is not much except that I've always had this thing for sex between cousins fantasizing about it.
The only concrete incest feeling thing happened to me when I was 16 and developed some sort of physical attraction to a 35 year-old first cousin (although she looks a bit younger), which was weird, but it only lasted for a short period of time and it really means nothing. And no, there was no physical (but not sexual) contact of course, besides normal cousin affection stuff.
It was just a teenager crush I had, a silly one, really.
Considering that I unraveled this bunch of distoted thoughts and went all the way down the tunnel of my mind and found PEDOPHILIA spelled in capital letters at the bottom, and then found out that I'm an exclusive (despite I had some sexual attractions to girls my age when I was a teenager), now nothing really seems to bother me...exclusive pedophile with syringe/needle/sadistic/rape pedophilic fantasies and incestuous fantasies too, it can't get any more worse than this, can it?
I do have fantasies where a little girl (12 years old) I feel attracted to (who in reality is just a...not friend, just an acquaintance) is my cousin and we get intimate.
So, damn yeah! Nothing else really bothers me anymore, could it get worse?
I could never imagine I was actually a paraphiliac, a pedophile, a fetishist, I think I should just get used to it and hope I will not find out about having some other paraphilia hiding inside of me waiting to come to surface. I just hope it's over.

-- Sun Dec 15, 2013 2:17 am --

ElKahn wrote:

Ghost147 wrote:It's possible that it could be simply a fetish for the taboo (I'm this case). Of course we can tell for certain without some more of your history when it comes to this delema. I'm adopted And my fiancé are so similar in the way we think, our personalities, our appearance (to a degree) and most of our paraphilias, fetishes and neurological conditions. We both often fantasize that we could be related and it is a big turn on for both of us. However, incest has been intrinsic to us both since we developed sexual urges.

Could you provide us with more information?

Information about incest in my life history?
There is not much except that I've always had this thing for sex between cousins fantasizing about it.
The only concrete incest feeling thing happened to me when I was 16 and developed some sort of physical attraction to a 35 year-old first cousin (although she looks a bit younger), which was weird, but it only lasted for a short period of time and it really means nothing. And no, there was no physical (but not sexual) contact of course, besides normal cousin affection stuff.
It was just a teenager crush I had, a silly one, really.
Considering that I unraveled this bunch of distorted thoughts and went all the way down the tunnel of my mind and found PEDOPHILIA spelled in capital letters at the bottom, and then found out that I'm an exclusive (despite I had some sexual attractions to girls my age when I was a teenager), now nothing really seems to bother me...exclusive pedophile with syringe/needle/sadistic/rape pedophilic fantasies and incestuous fantasies too, it can't get any more worse than this, can it?
I do have fantasies where a little girl (12 years old) I feel attracted to (who in reality is just a...not friend, just an acquaintance) is my cousin and we get intimate.
So, damn yeah! Nothing else really bothers me anymore, could it get worse?
I could never imagine I was actually a paraphiliac, a pedophile, a fetishist, I think I should just get used to it and hope I will not find out about having some other paraphilia hiding inside of me waiting to come to surface. I just hope it's over.

Oh it can get plenty worse than that, due to major triggering I won't go into it. You're fortunate enough not to have to deal with anything more. As your incestual feelings, I'd say that it could very well be intrinsic to you as well. How much distress would you say this particular issue places in you?

Ghost147 wrote: How much distress would you say this particular issue places in you?

If you're talking about the incest part, no distress really. If you ask me about my pedophilia, well...it made me get back to antidepressants, and I spend the nights awake fantasizing about every young girl I am attracted to, it makes me feel ashamed around people and makes me feel extremely awkward when a girl from 10 to 13 years old that I could find attractive is in the same place where I am, I start going insane and trying to hide that storm inside, getting all kinds of different feelings, all together: shame, guilt, arousal, pleasure, hating myself, then dirty verbal thoughts rushing through my head. It does get distressing most of the time, but I'm learning to handle it.

I know it could be worse, I just hope it will not get worse. Getting worse in my case would mean increasing fantasies and desiring the real thing, which is something I try to avoid at all costs. There is no concrete risk now, but I admit fantasies and arousal/physical response get stronge, my fantasies and thoughts are getting very dirty these days (and I am the kind of person who never says/thinks something dirty in terms of words, now even words come in the way), like I think "I'd do this and this and this to her...", it's just...it's complicated to handle this s*it, you know, but I fight everyday to be a better person.
I wasn't used to see myself as a pervert, actually I am one and it kinda shocks me cause I thought I was not capable of having such dirty thoughts.

ElKahn wrote:If you're talking about the incest part, no distress really. If you ask me about my pedophilia, well...it made me get back to antidepressants, and I spend the nights awake fantasizing about every young girl I am attracted to, it makes me feel ashamed around people and makes me feel extremely awkward when a girl from 10 to 13 years old that I could find attractive is in the same place where I am, I start going insane and trying to hide that storm inside, getting all kinds of different feelings, all together: shame, guilt, arousal, pleasure, hating myself, then dirty verbal thoughts rushing through my head. It does get distressing most of the time, but I'm learning to handle it.

I was referring to the incest portion. Although, I can fully understand how difficult it must be as a Pedophile. Me being a Zoophile, I at least have to look for the creatures I want sexually, and am not bombarded by it everywhere I go. Fortunately for me, it's not a distressful condition in the sense of shame and guilt.

ElKahn wrote:I know it could be worse, I just hope it will not get worse. Getting worse in my case would mean increasing fantasies and desiring the real thing, which is something I try to avoid at all costs.

I would say that the best possible thing you could do is to try and refrain from anything that may trigger your distress. Pornography, being around areas that commonly have many children/younger people, and all that. Anything that would help ease that distress (short of harming yourself in anyway, of course) would be a positive thing for you.

ElKahn wrote:There is no concrete risk now, but I admit fantasies and arousal/physical response get stronge, my fantasies and thoughts are getting very dirty these days (and I am the kind of person who never says/thinks something dirty in terms of words, now even words come in the way), like I think "I'd do this and this and this to her...", it's just...it's complicated to handle this s*it, you know, but I fight everyday to be a better person.
I wasn't used to see myself as a pervert, actually I am one and it kinda shocks me cause I thought I was not capable of having such dirty thoughts.

I've experienced the same feelings when it relates to my Zoophilia. What increases my fantasies the most is pornography, or simply being around dogs and horses. When I'm actively fantasizing about them it becomes excessively more difficult to prevent myself from acting on those lusts, even though the condition I may be in (like at a friends house with their dog, while they are in the next room) is extremely "dangerous".

Once again, it would simply be consciously attempting to repress those urges and fantasies when they come about.

Fortunately I stay away from all kinds of pornography. I just dislike pornography, all kinds of it. I think it might poison minds, especially young minds.
I don't see young girls too often though. At college there are only 18+, of course, and living close to college I always see college students or older people in that area.
When I go back to my hometown and stay with my parents, I tend to stay in my house a lot, just to rest or study. I go for a walk from time to time and see plenty of little girls downtown, but I am with my friends and they distract me, but I take glances here and there, trying hard to be unnoticed.
On the other side, staying away from who I am attracted to hurts, it's like I feel empty inside, the emotions little girls I like give me help me release my stress, I know it may sound contrary to common sense but attractive little girls give me that rush of emotions that makes me know I'm alive and have feelings. Gym, music, sports and looking at pretty little girls are all things that make me relax.
As long as I am able to be in control of my actions and thoughts, I think it's fine to take glances at little girls from time to time, but it's the "look but don't touch" logic I respect and I want to respect it.

ElKahn wrote:I go for a walk from time to time and see plenty of little girls downtown, but I am with my friends and they distract me, but I take glances here and there, trying hard to be unnoticed.
On the other side, staying away from who I am attracted to hurts, it's like I feel empty inside, the emotions little girls I like give me help me release my stress, I know it may sound contrary to common sense but attractive little girls give me that rush of emotions that makes me know I'm alive and have feelings. Gym, music, sports and looking at pretty little girls are all things that make me relax.
As long as I am able to be in control of my actions and thoughts, I think it's fine to take glances at little girls from time to time, but it's the "look but don't touch" logic I respect and I want to respect it.

How interesting. Why, would you say, that sometimes the look of them brings you a release, when some other times it antagonizes?

I think it's like getting drunk, you know, you get that overwhelming sense of wellness for a while, but after a while you realize you have nothing left in your hands, problems are still there and you solved nothing. It's like this for me with little girls I like, I look at them but can't have them, so looking at them at first releases all that frustration that comes from staying away, but then being not able to have them makes things bad again, it's like a cycle, repeating itself over and over again, I feel good for a while just to feel worse later and then good again and so forth.