a letter from a pedophile to a little girl

Dear A.,
you barely know me. You barely know who I am, yet this stranger is one of the few people who really loves you. This stranger is one of the few people you could trust, one of the few people who could help you face this world after the loss that marked your young life.
I am here to protect you from the evil of the world. I would hold your hand and give you all the strength you need to fight this world of pain, I would hold you at night whispering to your ear that everything has an end, even sufferance. I would then kiss you goodnight and stay awake just to watch over you all night and protect you from the shadows that torment you. I would lay beside you trying to cast your nightmares away. I would be your guardian angel, guiding you out of this hell you're living in. For every tear you'd drop, I'd say a word of comfort and love. You're a flower whose petals have been ripped off brutally, and I'd ve there to turn you into a bright red rose again.
We live in a land where evil does not forgive and it takes lives away. We are children of a land where the only law is the law of honor. We're fruits of a land that, instead of feeding us with water feeds us with venom. The trees and meadows of our land smell of blood, for too long man allowed lives to be shredded into pieces and be buried under a soil that witnesses but is condemned by nature to remain silent.
I am not God, and I'm not able to know what happened, but I'm here to stay and fight with you.

I love you, my little princess
by your Guardian Angel
ELKAHN

*This was written by me now, but I do not want to send it to the girl, for many obvious reasons and for less obvious reasons.
When I wrote it, I thought of the girl I am in love with. She's only 12 and she has lost her mother but nobody except for the criminals and God knows where she is, and whether she is alive or not.
It is a case that shocked my hometown and rumor has it that the woman was killed by someone in her own family because she had a relationship with another man , but nobody really knows and I refuse to believe things without knowing.
That said, the first time I saw this woman was 5 months ago, with her 12 year-old daughter. I fell in love with the little girl at first sight. When this episode of the missing/allegedurder case happened, I developed more feelings for the girl, and I've only seen her once after the episode.
She knows me but not very well....but here I am, anxious and angry because of what happened!

I wish I could send this letter (translated in our native language of course) to her, but I wont and I cant, and it is meant to be a secret.

Sorry but I needed to talk about it and write things down, it's been 3 months and it affected my life as it seems...and I cant take it amymore I just had to let it.go....

I think anyone, pedophile or not, would have a soft spot for a girl in this situation. You can't help but to feel bad for someone who goes through such a thing. So I think it makes sense that you've developed stronger feelings for her. You said no one knows where she is- is she missing? Was she taken by the person who killed her mom?

The girl is ok and she moved with her family back to her hometown (which is also my hometown).
Nobody really knows what happened to her mother, whether she is alive somewhere or dead. We dont know where her mom is.
It is true that I developed strong feelings for her especially after that.
I dont know about her personality as we have little contact but I know I do love her...there is who says I cannot love someone I barely know, yet I am sure I would give her the entire world if she asks me to.

It is a situation that came right when I was discovering my pedophilia...it made it all hard, making my psychological conditions get desperately worse.
Too much pain just at once.
But my pain is nothing compared to hers, and she is still going around smiling showing the world she is strong and this makes me admire her so much. Being that strong at 12, my God, I think she's really worth of admiration even by adults. And I hope her strength will never abandon her.

-- Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:04 am --

The girl is ok and she moved with her family back to her hometown (which is also my hometown).
Nobody really knows what happened to her mother, whether she is alive somewhere or dead. We dont know where her mom is.
It is true that I developed strong feelings for her especially after that.
I dont know about her personality as we have little contact but I know I do love her...there is who says I cannot love someone I barely know, yet I am sure I would give her the entire world if she asks me to.

It is a situation that came right when I was discovering my pedophilia...it made it all hard, making my psychological conditions get desperately worse.
Too much pain just at once.
But my pain is nothing compared to hers, and she is still going around smiling showing the world she is strong and this makes me admire her so much. Being that strong at 12, my God, I think she's really worth of admiration even by adults. And I hope her strength will never abandon her.