Showing off my 11 yo neice turns me on... why?

I dont disagree, it is not moral and ethics right. But it is not illegal neither...
Kind of a scary gray area.... But dont you worry, i will seek help. I just want to hear why i do this... i guess it turns me on by the fact that she is so young and innocent. I dont see it like exploiting her, more like showing her off, and if other men/women likes to watch her, so well... they have to answer for their actions...

Doesn't make it excusable, here someone is saying what they do, not what they think of doing.

That does make a big difference to those who read and what sort of advice is given, obviously. It's two different things fantasizing about something and starting to engage with another (minor) person in this, whether or not it has not currently gone to the lengths of anything illegal.

I think, as stated before, that getting appropriate help would be good. You do not seem to have her best interest in mind and you do not seem to care whether or not she is hurt, only that you would not be to blame. I think if she figured this out she might feel a lot of shame and blame you for it, and quite honestly do you find it hard to accept that it in part would be? By showing her off to pedophiles you are not keeping her safe or respected. Have you looked into any options there might be where you are for getting help?