Underage Porn Discovery

HesDeltanCaptain wrote:Toss the cd's first. Having such material on physical disk is probably the stupidest thing in the world since it can't be erased quickly if need be (harddisk data doesn't delete as in disappear, instead what happens is the space the data occupies is marked by the operating system as 'overwritable' allowing new data to occupy its space. To really get rid of stuff on disk you need to download a freeware 'erase' type program which will overwrite the space with random characters multiple times effectively destroying whatever occupied that space. Would suggest then using a recovery program to see if anything's left over. Government versions are much more effective, but for general piece of mind these civilian versions are adequate.) And when you toss them, do so far removed from the home, like don't just toss them out in your trash but take them somewhere, physically destroy them (break in half or better,) then toss them as there's likely identifying things on each disk. If you then wanna confront him about it go ahead, if not, if he's not still viewing them he shouldn't hardly notice, and if he does you know you have an ongoing problem.

Your marriage isn't a sham though. If we read everyone's minds we'd see we all have fantasies married or not. And if all he's doing is fantasizing he isn't doing anything every other married person does. Only difference is what he fantasizes about is illegal.

Sorry to burst your bubble but I think the erase type programs might not work against the government. They could find traces. They got experts. They know better.
I use these softwares too (I have no illegal material, I've just been paranoid about this stuff since when I was an early teen, like paranoid about someone finding me visiting this forum for example) but I'm still paranoid. You can't fool the police in these cases....not easily like that.
Of course government versions are much more effective, but are they available?
Best option would be to literally destroy the hard disk. Literally, physically.

-- Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:29 am --

Anyway, I think it's a morally and legally wrong thing to destroy evidence.
I think CP is one of the most disgusting things ever, and whoever watches it contributes to the exploitation of innocent children, kidnapped and whatnot just to satisfy miserable people.

SORRY. I'm a pedophile myself, but I hate CP. It's sick, really. It's a sick business. It's human trafficking, too.

I doubt very highly that the urge for CP is a temporary one, or one that can be easily brushed aside. I'm not saying it isn't possible at all, just not likely. Perhaps someone can speak to that more clearly.

If not, this can be seen, in part, as an addiction. If it is an addiction then deleting or destroying evidence of the CP and making him promise never to involve himself this way ever again is a temporary fix.

People have been incarcerated for CP and repeat the offense later. The same goes for gambling, drugs, etc. Addiction is addiction. Desire can override reason.

CP is an abomination; truly the worst humanity has to offer. I wish people would think of the kids. That aside you have given your husband a lot of slack in this awful issue and I don't want to presume to tell you what actions you should take.

I made this post in hopes that you don't get lulled into thinking it is over with a temporary fix. I have seen this kind of wishful thinking turn to tragedy too many times with all forms of addiction. I am sorry this is happening to you and wish for better days.

Otter.

otter wrote:I doubt very highly that the urge for CP is a temporary one, or one that can be easily brushed aside. I'm not saying it isn't possible at all, just not likely. Perhaps someone can speak to that more clearly.

If not, this can be seen, in part, as an addiction. If it is an addiction then deleting or destroying evidence of the CP and making him promise never to involve himself this way ever again is a temporary fix.

People have been incarcerated for CP and repeat the offense later. The same goes for gambling, drugs, etc. Addiction is addiction. Desire can override reason.

CP is an abomination; truly the worst humanity has to offer. I wish people would think of the kids. That aside you have given your husband a lot of slack in this awful issue and I don't want to presume to tell you what actions you should take.

I made this post in hopes that you don't get lulled into thinking it is over with a temporary fix. I have seen this kind of wishful thinking turn to tragedy too many times with all forms of addiction. I am sorry this is happening to you and wish for better days.

Otter.

I knew how bad it was, I knew kids were being exploited and abused, some may not have been and been willing participants in the more sexually aware ages, kids these days are not as prudish about sex and sexuality these days IMHO. The problem was putting out of my mind that fact that these kids were being abused, not allowing myself to think about that, and the more you get dragged into it the more it becomes an addiction that is hard to kick.

I started initially just looking for gay porn of legal ages around my age and found that guys didn't excite me, then I found some questionable stuff and got a rush from it I guess, at first anything much under the age of consent repulsed me, anything that didn't look like it was willing and enjoyable repulsed me, but slowly I just got deeper and deeper without even realising, I still had my limits though, but it was like a game of trying to find anything for the next fix, things that I thought excited me didn't any more and I guess I needed something more extreme. At least that is the best way I can explain it.

I guess deep down I did not want to admit these were kids being abused and probably scarred for life by it.

otter wrote:I doubt very highly that the urge for CP is a temporary one, or one that can be easily brushed aside. I'm not saying it isn't possible at all, just not likely. Perhaps someone can speak to that more clearly.

If not, this can be seen, in part, as an addiction. If it is an addiction then deleting or destroying evidence of the CP and making him promise never to involve himself this way ever again is a temporary fix.

People have been incarcerated for CP and repeat the offense later. The same goes for gambling, drugs, etc. Addiction is addiction. Desire can override reason.

CP is an abomination; truly the worst humanity has to offer. I wish people would think of the kids. That aside you have given your husband a lot of slack in this awful issue and I don't want to presume to tell you what actions you should take.

I made this post in hopes that you don't get lulled into thinking it is over with a temporary fix. I have seen this kind of wishful thinking turn to tragedy too many times with all forms of addiction. I am sorry this is happening to you and wish for better days.

Otter.

Otter, I can totally see your point. And I haven't convinced myself this is a permanent fix. but what I have HAD to do is some letting go. I can't live my life being paranoid that he will return to this type of material, because it would quite frankly destroy me. I will face things if and when they happen. I do have some hope in that the CP images seem to have been collected and viewed up until 2006 (I checked out all the 'properties') and nothing of that particular genre since. (teens though).

He has expressed a lot of understanding/empathy about the exploitation and cruelty aspect, and I don't know whether that's to placate me or not, but i have to take it on face value as i'm not a mind reader. He says he didn't think of it at the time but does now and it revolts him.

Airwolf has given a perspective on his past behaviours that seems to match my husband's. So I take heart in that, and can only hope that, like airwolf, he has no desire to be involved in this illegal and exploitative scene again.

Of course, one never knows- but we have to start somewhere.

I really hope my posts are helping you and your partner to figure out what was going on in his life, I also hope he truly feels as bad about it as I do, and that he truly never wants anything to do with it. They found 5 things on a computer I honestly thought would be clean, they asked If they were downloaded by me, I had to answer yes as I doubt anyone else who used that computer would have done so, but because I could not say whole heartedly the only way to be sure would be to see them to see If I remember seeing them, which I declined to do and accepted as they were on my computer they must have been from me. I never want to see those things ever again in my life. I don't even want to look at normal porn as some normal porn can be classed as indecent if it involves humiliation or rape scenes or the like.

I can only speak for myself as always but I hope you can both recover from this and help him beat this horrible habit.

Thanks for your candor Airwolffan, it can't be easy to talk about all of this. But I think it helps others, so thanks for that.

DowntownGirl, yes it does have start somewhere. And I hope that path leads to happiness for all.

Otter.

otter wrote:Thanks for your candor Airwolffan, it can't be easy to talk about all of this. But I think it helps others, so thanks for that.

Otter.

It is easier to talk anonymously here than face to face, when I have to talk face to face you can't imagine how it makes me feel and I just end up blubbering and a gibbering wreck. The shame and embarrassment alone is quite frankly horrible. I just only hope it really does help other people and stop them messing up their lives,

To be quite honest if he is still hiding CP around the house that means that he will always have a stash of it somewhere and I am not really sure what to tell you. When I was caught molesting children I had a large collection of CP at the time and when the police searched the house they found stashes of it all over the house, places that I even forgot that I had it and it was a large ammount.

I am an exclusive pedophile and I was even married which was crazy because I used that as a front to act like I was a so called normal person. I am not saying that you shouldn't trust him but I am just guessing that he has more stashed around the house that you might never find out about, though I could also be wrong which I hope that I am.

It can get better once you have deleted or thrown away everything CP related. He's gonna grip and yell at you so be ready for that. What happened to me is that I finally told myself to give it all up and I threw away everything into the trash dumpster. On a scale of 1 to 10 I was a 6, but now I'm maybe a 1 or a 2. The only thing I collect now is teen non nude pics and videos like girls in bikinis or jeans.

Hi DowntownGirl,

I concur what kdb said above. I have gone trough the similar path as him few years ago as a consumer of, if not outright CP, at least questionable age content, playing on the borderline of legality. Luckily it was my own conscience that got me burned rather than police. It can get better. He himself has to realize what he has been doing is putting you both under huge danger. Moreover he has been participating in exploitation as a consumer and should be remorseful. He has to acknowledge that everyone, including himself will be better of and happier without hes porn habbits. Maybe you could suggest installing program called Covenant Eyes to hes computer. The program will monitor hes online activites and provide you with report what he has been up to. It shouldn't be a problem for him if hes not doing anything suspicious any more. I would also suggest him completely abstaining from any kind of porn and relying on hes imagination. Porn should not be that important part of any ones life that he can't let it go after it's evident that it has taken him across that very boundary no one should ever cross. For me it has been easy to be without porn for 2 and half years for the huge guilt reaction I had at the time. I know it's not healthy for me and I honestly think it's not healthy for your husband. There are millions of more important things in life than porn.

kdb wrote:On a scale of 1 to 10 I was a 6, but now I'm maybe a 1 or a 2. The only thing I collect now is teen non nude pics and videos like girls in bikinis or jeans.

I hope you will stay within legal lines for good . I have been sufferin extremely guilty conscience of my past actions (I still am) and been reporting questionable sites and also people boasting online (on other forums) of consuming stuff like I used to consume, just to make myself feel better. I have no problems with people who have crossed the line in past and have cleaned up their acts, and are remorseful and asking for help, but if I'm under the impression that some one is currently accesing to cp, I will make a report. I absolutely feel I'm obligated to do that. For me it's more important to make that behaviour to stop than to consider the problems the person has to deal with when the police gets involved. After all, it's a game everyone knows they should not be playing.

I really hope you can sort out this situation DowntownGirl