Underage Porn Discovery

Thank you GraveYard! That's great reinforcement. I have been talking to him again about it tonight and I'm standing up like a bear on hind legs over it. He says he will do something about it - I've given him 48 hours. No more Mrs nice.

Mrs Nice can still demand the deletion of those hard drives, AND tell him he's lucky not to have been shopped to the police. I don't see anything un-nice about an un-budging intolerance towards child porn.

I'll say it again. He's lucky to have someone who hasn't thrown him to the lions. Porn is a nasty addiction, I realise that, but child porn is something else. There's a lot of ruined lives behind it, and DEMANDING that it has no place in your lives is in no way being Mrs Not-so-nice.

There really is no compromise to be had on this. I really hope he realises how lucky he is at this moment, and leaves that poisonous crap behind for good.

I agree totally with Graveyard, your guy really does not know how lucky he is. I would give anything to have a woman beside me trying to help and support me. And I have really learnt the hard way, I just wish so much I could have reached out for help a long time ago. It is an addiction that has to be kicked just like drugs.

Destruction of harddrives is hard. It's amazing what can be retrieved even after you'd think data is irretrievable. Short of a grenade and physically shattering the platters, it's best to assume the data's gonna be recoverable.

HesDeltanCaptain wrote:Destruction of harddrives is hard. It's amazing what can be retrieved even after you'd think data is irretrievable. Short of a grenade and physically shattering the platters, it's best to assume the data's gonna be recoverable.

Battery Acid?

I say burn both the CD's and the hard drives in the backyard. Smash the hard drives on the driveway first with a hammer. Then put all of it in a steel bucket, pour in a little gas, maybe a cup or so, and drop in a lit paper taper. Careful not to get burned. You not only want the stuff destroyed, you want it to be totally unrecoverable by the authorities.

Your husband is one lucky guy, and if he is smart he will not give you one second's worth of argument.

I have a casual acquaintance who got fifteen years in the Federal pen for possession of kiddie porn. It's very unlikely he will ever breathe free air before he dies.

I am really struggling. On the outside I am calm and reasoned, but my inner thoughts are in complete turmoil, my concentration is shot and my humour is in hibernation. I'm just hoping with time, things will fade and become easier. I'm now fixated on what he's fantasising about and feel powerless that I'm excluded from his imaginary world. This (illogical but nevertheless real) fixation is causing me to have such conflicting feelings about having sex with him. Pissed off big time.

Thankfully there's this forum - I have literally no-one offline to express my feelings to because of the nature of these issues. I don't want my friends and family thinking my husband's a prick, or that I'm a doorknob by association.

I take it he still hasn't done anything about those hard drives then?

Graveyard76 wrote:I take it he still hasn't done anything about those hard drives then?

Yes he has. Destroyed and gone from the property. That's removed the immediate danger at least.

This would normally endear me to him. Instead I'm angry and mentally fatigued with worry that I've had to rescue him from himself, yet again. Meanwhile, he's his charming self.

We've got a spare room that I day-dream about moving into and abandoning him to his own devices. Of course I won't actually do it, but at it gives me solace to think about punishing him

Well that's good news about the hard drives. It's understandable that you're going to have some complicated feelings about the whole thing, but hopefully this will be something both of you will be able to leave well in the past.

Keep looking onwards and upwards!