where you abused?

People (not from malice) often invent stories and can do so without even being aware of it. Remember it was only in the 80s where we had the satanic cult sex abuse accusations and recovered "memories" that ruined the lives of hundreds of innocent teachers/care givers/doctors. We now know (and reasonable people knew at the time) that those cults never existed.
People honestly think they were abducted by aliens or saw a witch fly over the church roof. The world is full of false memory and genuine (but misguided) people.

I guess my point is that false memory is a fact and the 'I may have been raped but cannot remember' idea belittles actual survivors of abuse.

Sir, there is a fly in my soup.....
I haven't seen the fly, nor has anyone else seen it, and in fact I haven't seen any insect in my soup or evidence of any in the soup...
But there is a fly in my soup.

Sexual abuse is a crime, im not making fun but I find the cannot remember /fleeting memorizes idea to be irrational. The burden of evidence is on the accuser.

I do have memories of it and I told someone what happened when I was the same age and they remember me telling them. how could that be a false memory?

Zebramouse wrote:I do have memories of it and I told someone what happened when I was the same age and they remember me telling them. how could that be a false memory?

Then you have my sincere sympathy.

It probably would be very annoying to a survivor of abuse to hear someone else say "meh, I guess I was abused. I dunno." like as if it isn't a big deal. child abuse is very serious. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

I'm not saying tht "false memories" aren't real. It does happen, but...c'mon! How common is that in sexual abuse victims? You're asking for something impossible! It have passed 11 years since I was abused. How can I show some evidence of something that happened 11 years ago? I've felt too bad already thinking the abuse was totally my fault and then someone comes and practically says it isn't real and asks for evidence. But no, it's not. That's what I (and a lot others) call of "triggering". Those memories are way to real and when someone actually confirm it, you know it can't be false.
My mom confirmed I've come home several times with red eye, hematomas all over my back and some break bones, and all confirmed by a doctor when I was 7 and 8, when he asked how those have occured. And all of that I didn't remembered 'till last year when my mom'd come asking me what happened with me when I was a child, how I had all of those hematomas...I didn't even remembered this occured to me but F*CK it happened! There's a lot of things that happened that I don't feel to expose here. But please, don't go over saying repressed memories aren't true and asking for a evidence, specially to someone who have been through this.

And Zebramouse, sorry for all the harsh talking. I was upset with Platonic's statement and totally got over things. But explain to me...why did you assumed it was a false memory when someone confirmed this happened?

I do have to admit that what I said sounded a little weird. I'm just afraid of accusing someone of something if it didn't really happen. But i do think it happend and i do have real memories of it and I'm not just tying to get attention or something.

Why do you have to accuse anyone of anything? Just because someone gave you an experience in which you remember and that hurt you in some way doesn't mean you have to accuse them.

If I say say that a person abused me than I'm accusing that person of child abuse. They could get in to serious trouble if I told someone so I just want to be careful.

Zebramouse wrote:If I say say that a person abused me than I'm accusing that person of child abuse. They could get in to serious trouble if I told someone so I just want to be careful.

I don't think I ever said this before on this forum. Any case my first memory in life is watch sex between two ppl when I was 4 or 5. I to sometimes think its a dream. Its not. It happened. And it happened a lot also. Sexually it destroyed me permanently. I don't know how to fix that. I do know this is now all about me and my experience. Its not about my abuser. They can die for all I care. I don't even mention who they are. It really doesn't matter. What matters is my health.