Mental Anguish & Partners "Hebe/Epheb" Issues! Please help!!

I know its long but PLEASE read & help.


My friend has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for over a year. He is 13 years older than her. (I am 24.) She am very much in love with him. However, there is a problem. Shortly after they started dating he revealed to her that he is attracted to young teens. She was abused when she was younger so this came as quite an unpleasant shock to her.
Everything else in their relationship besides this issue was perfect. She wanted to know more and see if she could work it out. They had many conversations and she dug deeper for information. He told her of his fetish towards incest and more about his attraction to young teens. Her concern grew when she found that he seemed to think that since they were pubescent (& in some countries of age to consent) that it was ok for an adult to have a sexual relationship with a younger teen. He had stated that he would never be with anyone under age but that he was mentally curious about the experience. He was aware of his sexuality from quite a young age *8* & assumed that others were like this as well. However, in his early teens he was abused by a man.
He was very open & honest with her & did not hide anything. She even had access to his computer & went through it. She found non-nude "young model" picture galleries. These didn't seem to be young teens though. Some of them looked 8 years old. She confronted him. He hadnt seen anything wrong with them since they were non-nude. He explained that he feels attraction towards these non-nude models just as he would a woman he likes in real life. That it wasn't "mainly" sexual but also emotional. Later on, she had also found old erotica stories from the internet. They were sexually graphic & involved young children & young teens. He said that because they were stories he could imagine them however he would like & did not think of the children as young children in the stories. If he did, it seems to have been in a fantasy type of way. He wasn't attracted to children or "childlike" behavior in REAL LIFE. This was all very confusing & depressing for her.
She explained to him that even though he had sexual feelings at a young age that it isn't like this for everyone. Also, that young girls aren't prone to be sexually aware until they are well into their teenage years & even though some do have early attractions that they aren't mentally capable to be able to consent to a sexual relationship. She included that for young teen girls who DO end up getting into sexual relationships usually get into them for the affection/attention/"love" of a man because they do nott know how to get love any other way. It took him quite some time to wrap his mind around these concepts & realize what was right. He deleted all of his models & stories.
Eventually, he came to realize that any sexual interaction with a child is damaging & that they are unable to fully consent. She has read that for pedophiles/hebephiles who have thought this way require extensive therapy to sort out the distorted views of children & sexuality. Even though she is just a Psychology student at university... She felt like she had undertaken the job of being his therapist to set him on the right track. His mind is thinking clearly now. Yet, she is haunted that the one she loves could have thought & been mislead by such things. They have had conversations of her upset in the past few months. He now denies ever having thought in certain ways about some things. This also bothers her because she doesn't know what he actually thought, what he thinks now & what he actually believes or looks at behind closed doors. She is glad to have helped him but she remembers their conversations & the associated emotions of it all nearly every day. She feels as if she now need extensive therapy to get over the inner turmoil she faces daily from those memories.
How is she supposed to get over this? How is she supposed to fully accept him & see him as a good man now? (He is in every other way in her mind) How is she supposed to get over the anxiety that she faces everytime they are in public and she sees a young teen or child running about, thinking that he may be thinking something? She sees know other way than to live with the turmoil until one day it fades... or to end the relationship and lose the person she loves the most just for some mental peace. Help Please.

I think your friend needs to relax. Too many people are worried about things that aren't causing anyone but them so much distress.