What should I do?

So...I'm a member on a fetish website and apparently someone on there really dug me and I thought he was very goodlooking so we chatted a bit on there and i added them on skype. And so as we were making preparations to meet up, he tells me that he's 15. So then I'm like...woah...no. Not for me. So initially he was like "Oh, I mistyped. I meant 18." And of course I didn't buy it so I told him that if we met up, I need to see ID before we do ANYTHING, even though what he wanted to do specifically isn't necessarily sexual, it is a fetish and just as I wouldn't do bondage or knifeplay with a minor, I wouldn't do this one either. I explained this.

But then this kid keeps msging/texting me like..."Why can't we? What is legal? 18 is just an arbitrary number." So then I asked him, "What the hell were you doing on there anyway?" And then he explains that A. He is bullied and unpopular. B. It's harder to find people into this particular fetish ANYWAY let alone at his age. C. Someone found out about some of the stuff he's into and blabbed around so he gets extra flack for that. And of course he won a little of my sympathy. I was bullied in high school (even though guys knew I was cool with bizarre requests so not for that), and I understand how it can be difficult to enjoy a person when that isn't what you want. Of course I totally get this, as do some of you. So, I responded basically saying that things get SO much better after high school. In college no one cares who you f#ck or how you want to do it. Plus, we're right outside of a major city with a HUGE fetish scene for bedroom kinksters to lifestylers.

Conundrum: He asked if we could still be friends. Should I or should I not just be friends with this kid and what level of hanging out is appropriate? I'm a bit leery because I don't want him to develop attachment to me when there's no way to act on anything, but on the same note I feel it would be beneficial to have someone in his world who understands how he feels and who he can relate to. What do I do??

As a way that might help to look at the situation...imagine you didn't meet him on the fetish website, but elsewhere. And that he was upfront about being 15 and being bullied etc. Would you have contacted him? Would you have wanted to be his friend? Or are you only considering being his friend because of what has happened? Are you looking for a friend or are you looking for someone to engage in sexual/fetish activities?

There is no shortage of people with sad stories who would like friendship and support. Make sure that's what you want to give, and that you want to give it to this boy. Don't think you have to be his friend because you can't be his lover. There will be other people available to offer him friendship.

Personally I wouldn't try to be his friend because I've never been able to manage the 'just be friends' thing. Once I've imagined someone as a lover, it seems tricky to reconceptualise them. But you may be much better at that sort of thing!

Personally I believe you answered yourself when you said "it would be beneficial to have someone in his world who understands how he feels and who he can relate to."

Granted you can't do anything sexual with him unless you deem your conscious able to deal with that, and not that I'm trying to encourage you but most of my male friends lost their virginity at 15 - some with older people - and they don't look back and feel abused/used/taken advantage of in any way.

Be a friend to this kid, but make it clear from the start that's all you want. Good luck,

Firstly: you should also make sure he gets off those sorts of websites ASAP ... truth time: I used to lurk on those when I was 13-14 and the police somehow called my mum and told her and it was way, way worse than if I had not. If people find an underage person online, they take that $#%^ seriously and he will absolutely regret not just waiting a few years, especially if it's a fetishy-type site he's found on.

I think you could be a great person for him to have in his life ... everything you've posted here that I have seen has only made me respect you and as someone only a little older than him I agree that it's really, really lonely and not-fun to be weird sexually, especially when other people know.

The biggest issue isn't with you, though -- it's him. If he's going to spend the entirety of your interactions hoping to get into your pants or thinking about getting into your pants, rather than respecting the law and your boundaries and being friends with someone who understands him and his experiences, then that isn't going to benefit him. That's one of the many reasons why I hate the concept of the friendzone ... if he says that he wants friendship (but really is just looking for an opportunity to get laid) then he misses out on how great friendship is in and of itself.

Anyway ... I think it could be good for him, if he really is intending to just be friends and respect your boundaries. And I think that if you want to be friends with him (that is, if you can foresee enjoying a non-sexy, friendly relationship being both doable and enjoyable) then you should. At the same time, you shouldn't feel obligated to -- as much as you might identify with him and understand his POV, he isn't your responsibility, and it's fine if you don't want to take responsibility for him.