On Paraphilic depression/anxiety

As I browse through all these previous forum topics, I can't help but be amazed at the extent people are unable to handle having paraphilias. I have 3 paraphilias, necrophilia, beastality, pedophilia, yet Graveyard has one which is the least morally objectionable, necro, but struggles with self-acceptance. Why can't you focus less on paraphilic fantasie/agonizing on it's taboo nature and be happy with what you have. I'm 19, single, a virgin and have never dated, yet even paraphiles in relationships seem to be miserable.

It's not super great to police other people's feelings, especially calling out another forum member by name like that ... Just saying. Not polite.

People experience things in different ways -- the way you relate to your pedo/necrophilia and beastiality is totally different to how someone else would, based not just on you as an individual but your context (age of consent laws in your country, for example) and personal experience (being outed and people's reactions would change how you felt, for example).

People in relationships can feel the same barriers to contentment and intimacy that having a paraphilia can create just as well as single people can, I think. I mean ... wouldn't it be upsetting to not be able to do something that our society places so much value on (sexual intimacy with your partner) because you could only become aroused for a specific, unrelated thing? I don't know. I can imagine feeling like I'd let my partner down in some way.

Your advice boils down to "why not stop being sad", which is not a reasonable suggestion and doesn't take into account the vast range of experiences, extenuating factors and realities that come into play around such a topic.

wellhellothere wrote:It's not super great to police other people's feelings, especially calling out another forum member by name like that ... Just saying. Not polite.

People experience things in different ways -- the way you relate to your pedo/necrophilia and beastiality is totally different to how someone else would, based not just on you as an individual but your context (age of consent laws in your country, for example) and personal experience (being outed and people's reactions would change how you felt, for example).

People in relationships can feel the same barriers to contentment and intimacy that having a paraphilia can create just as well as single people can, I think. I mean ... wouldn't it be upsetting to not be able to do something that our society places so much value on (sexual intimacy with your partner) because you could only become aroused for a specific, unrelated thing? I don't know. I can imagine feeling like I'd let my partner down in some way.

Your advice boils down to "why not stop being sad", which is not a reasonable suggestion and doesn't take into account the vast range of experiences, extenuating factors and realities that come into play around such a topic.

Speechless. This is a perfect answer.

wellhellothere wrote:It's not super great to police other people's feelings, especially calling out another forum member by name like that ... Just saying. Not polite.

People experience things in different ways -- the way you relate to your pedo/necrophilia and beastiality is totally different to how someone else would, based not just on you as an individual but your context (age of consent laws in your country, for example) and personal experience (being outed and people's reactions would change how you felt, for example).

People in relationships can feel the same barriers to contentment and intimacy that having a paraphilia can create just as well as single people can, I think. I mean ... wouldn't it be upsetting to not be able to do something that our society places so much value on (sexual intimacy with your partner) because you could only become aroused for a specific, unrelated thing? I don't know. I can imagine feeling like I'd let my partner down in some way.

Your advice boils down to "why not stop being sad", which is not a reasonable suggestion and doesn't take into account the vast range of experiences, extenuating factors and realities that come into play around such a topic.

How am I policing people's feelings? Do you prefer to do nothing, then complain about how miserable you are? Like, I just you don't want to hear my advice and be defensive, but you can try to focus on your paraphilia so much.

Well, I'm the same way really. I don't feel an ounce of negative feelings about my sexuality and never have. Perhaps something's up with the wiring in my head. That's why it's difficult for me to help many of the posters here as I haven't the slightest clue what they're going through. I just hope they find some way to get though it.

ElKahn, if you're not exclusive yet, there is always hope. Have you heard of masturabatory conditioning?
Heres a link http://www.mhamic.org/sources/langevin.htm

Depression and anxiety has been a big problem for me in recent years, but there is something to be said for counting your blessings.

It's definitely not as simple as deciding not to be sad though, as wellhellothere points out. I'm as close as I've ever been to self-acceptance, but there's no point in me pretending that necrophilia is not morally objectionable. There's only so far you can go when you're knowingly in denial. The way forward has to be accepting that we're far from perfect, but taking a 'glass half full' approach with all the positive things about ourselves.

There is nobody on this planet who has been made 'perfect'. I had some nasty comments aimed at me in the pub on Sunday, which stung for a couple of days, but I'd much rather be me than the judgmental bitch who made them, who let's just say doesn't have the best sexual morality in this community.

We've all got flaws. It's about how we live our lives with the cards we get dealt, rather than those cards themselves.

I may be one of the few on here who's perfectly happy with myself and my "paraphilias". Granted, sometimes I worry myself when I start thinking acting them out wouldn't be so bad as long as I wasn't caught, but I always manage to control myself in the end.

They way I see it, as long as I'm not hurting anyone, why be upset by it? I have a pretty good deal going on in life just now. My sexual preferences - as abnormal as they are - aren't something I'd consider detrimental to it.