When is it pedophilia and when it's not?

I don't agree with the fact 15 year olds look like 25 year olds....totally not true.
I agree 12 and even 13 year olds dont look like 15 year olds though....15 year olds tend to be already well developed physically and that could turn me off....

their faces may look a little bit more innocent but there is no difference in there bodies that I can see. they are no shorter and no less curvy. I would say a 30 year old man that finds a 15 year old girl attractive is 100% normal. but hey, what do I know?

My understanding is that there are differences between pedophiles and hebephiles. A pedophile is attracted to a child who has not yet reached puberty. A hebephile is attracted to a child who is going through puberty.

There's also pederasts - adult males who have sexual relationships with pubescent or adolescent males. Pederasts are in a different category, though, because they have acted on their fantasies when, in many cases, pedophiles and hebephiles have not.

-- Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:35 am --

I actually think of myself as a pedophile, and hebephile, and a regular gay man who is attracted to adult males. The group I'm most attracted to, actually, are males between the ages of 10 and 18 - primarily those who are going through puberty. But I'm also attracted to men in their 20s and 30s as well.

cheex_79 wrote:My understanding is that there are differences between pedophiles and hebephiles. A pedophile is attracted to a child who has not yet reached puberty. A hebephile is attracted to a child who is going through puberty.

There's also pederasts - adult males who have sexual relationships with pubescent or adolescent males. Pederasts are in a different category, though, because they have acted on their fantasies when, in many cases, pedophiles and hebephiles have not.

-- Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:35 am --

I actually think of myself as a pedophile, and hebephile, and a regular gay man who is attracted to adult males. The group I'm most attracted to, actually, are males between the ages of 10 and 18 - primarily those who are going through puberty. But I'm also attracted to men in their 20s and 30s as well.

Yeah I know, I'm both a pedophile (as I like girls 8-9 years old too, still prepubescent) and hebephile. But now my question is: being my age of preference 11-12, does it fall into the category of hebephilia or pedophilia?
I think it depends on whether the girl reached puberty or not yet. Who knows. I think those are weird ages, something like between being a child and an adolescent, don't know...

When it is or isn't depends on where you live. In the US, there's two definitions: the incorrect media/pop culture one applying to everyone under 18, and the real clinical definition which seems to be about 12. Further complicating things, the law doesn't agree on when it's legal either. Federal age of consent is 16, yet a 16yo can't make a porn video. Then individual states adjust it up or down, then again if you're married. Example is here in Missouri, the age of consent is 17, BUT if you get married, and you can at 15 with parental consent, the aoc drops to 15. And there's a provision for even younger marriages with a judges' ok though I'm not sure when that happens or why.

In general, if you're into prepubescent children, that'd be pedophilia. Postpubescents would be ebopophilia/hebephilia.

I'm both into prepubescent and early pubescent. Both pedophile and hebephile, but not ephebophile...I mean, a 16 year old already has an adult body, unless the person has a delayed puberty and still hasnt developed (dont know if it's a correct term though).
I wouldnt consider ephebophilia something weird, 15-17 year olds are already developed in most of the cases.
I think 12 year olds are more like kids rather than teens....

It is possible for me to be attracted to a 18 or 20 year-old too, it already happened, but never as much as a child's body attracts me, this pretty much made me understand my pedophilia at first. It is a path I slowly explored. Sexuality is something extremely complex and requires a lot of time to explore it.
I do admit I like looking at young little girls in a sexual way just like an adult may look at another adult that way, but hey that's who I am.
It's just looking without touching, of course.

Elkahn wrote:I do admit I like looking at young little girls in a sexual way just like an adult may look at another adult that way, but hey that's who I am

Don't care, man. You're a wonderful person. You don't want to hurt children and you're struggling to not doing. And you are aware of your acts and their consequences. Your fantasies is yours fantasies and nothing else. No one will ever be able to know what pass there. And who cares, anyway? You're not doing anything wrong. Kinda the opposite. It's a healthy way to NOT do something wrong.

Location, location, location. I went to boarding school in a state where the AOC is 16, my permanent address was in a state where it's 17 and I travelled outside of the US often to places it was much lower. It all depends on where you are when whatever happens happens.

But it isn't pedophilia once a person is sexually developed, which is still a bit ambiguous if you ask me.

Age of consent laws are not a marker for pedophilia, so regarding this question it doesn't matter which state you live in.

There are several ways of answering your question, some better than others:

Common opinion doesn't emphasize puberty. Pedophilia is a label for anyone who is sexually attracted to a child, that may refer to anyone under 18 or it may refer to someone under 13 depending on who you talk to. A person educated on the subject however, is more likely to disagree that being attracted to children is always pedophilia.

The educated opinion is that the label is reserved for those with significant attraction to prepubescent children. The definition usually covers an an age range with an upper limit of either 11, 12, or 13 years of age depending on the definition.

The majority of girls have reached puberty by age 11 and the vast majority by the age of 13. So this isn't an absolute marker for where pedophilia ends and hebephilia begins. The average age of onset for puberty among girls is about 10.5 in developed countries, and plenty of girls reach puberty by age 9.

However, I have read opinions of some psychologists who say that the onset of puberty shouldn't necessarily be a cut off point. Many feel the definition ought to extend somewhat into early pubescence.

Guys. I can tell you for certain I like ages 11, 12, and 13 boys ever since I was 8 til 30 now. It hasn't changed. And I am not in the least bit attracted to any ranges outside of that general range. I could never be a true gay. Just a pedo gay.

I think it is possible that you can have both pedo and heber, but I don't. Because society is just trying to put labels on everything. Sexual desires go beyond any labels. Labels can be close, but not perfect.