How did pedophilia change your life?

Platypus wrote:

sprooglestrewft wrote:It makes me upset when other's fail to realize this, and instead shift the blame onto other characteristics that are out of a person's control.

Fair enough, but that doesn't seem to have happened in this thread. "I'd like to tell you how pedophilia has affected my life as a victim" is not the same thing as blaming paedophilia for child abuse.

Right. I'm just nitpicking I suppose.

Mind'n'Ruins wrote:I'd like to tell you how pedophilia has affected my life as a victim. I am a 23 year old woman i was molested my a family member for years and guilted and shamed into hiding this as to not "hurt" the rest of my family. This has deeply impacted my mental health. As a child, I learned that this was something I was supposed to do, something "normal". This opened me up to others prying on me, already beaten down and prepared for anyones abuse. I felt like a magnet for sexual Predators, and I blamed myself. I was filled with shame and self-hatred, I started using heavily using drugs at 12 years old and have attempted suicide on two occasions. I put myself in abusive relationships and dangerous situations time and time again. As an adult I still live with constant daily flashbacks that lead to a deep depression. Anything as simple as a certain cartoon, some movies, songs, bird calls, or just hearing a stranger be called by his name sends me spiraling down. Its caused me sexual dysfunction, I have flash backs, freak outs and break down out of nowhere while engaging in normal loving sexual situations with my partner. I have a child now, I live with constant overwhelming paranoia. I cannot trust anyone, to think anyone I trust could be as deceiving as this man was to my family or did they just turn a blind eye? Can i trust them with my child or will she fall into this blind spot as well? I cant go anywhere in public with out over analyzing every look in her direction, leaving if anyone approaches her. I spend hours dwelling reading cases online, watching to catch a predator, and memorizing the faces on the sex offender list. My life has been consumed, i'd like to think as time went on i could look forward to some relieve, but so far as the years pass the pain increases.

I relate to that a little. But I want to ask you for something...being a victim myself. This place is not healthy for you. Yeah, the one where you've just posted. I feel extremely angry about some opinions posted here, and some may also trigger and leave our mind a bit confused. I'll use a example...do you have ever felt that, you wanted to have a relationship with mother-f*cker who abused you? Yeah, I've felt that and some opinions here made me feel even more bad. Twice more bad. It made me feel it was MY fault. Please, as a friend, don't waste your time posting here, specially if you stil isn't able to deal with the flashbacks.
But your post is extremely important to everyone here. That's how a child feel when some d*mn mother-f*cker thinks she'll enjoy what he's giving her.

PS: Not everyone have those sort of opinions here, really. Actually, believe in me, most of people here are great persons. Really great persons.
There's just some few guys here that stated a "meticulous scientific research" as a fact. And this "fact" is made of bul*$hit. 'Some guy' named Naxal. But still, this place is not healthy for victims of abuse. I deal with this place because I am one of those pedophiles that can control themselves...

I think that if our culture's extremely maladaptive attitude towards sexuality causes such severe psycopathology in some individuals who had sex as children with adults, this is a major issue which should be addressed. Sorry, but you don't get to claim a peer-reviewed scientific study is "#######4" because you don't like its conclusions. Science doesn't work that way.

Naxal321 wrote:I think that if our culture's extremely maladaptive attitude towards sexuality causes such severe psycopathology in some individuals who had sex as children with adults, this is a major issue which should be addressed. Sorry, but you don't get to claim a peer-reviewed scientific study is "#######4" because you don't like its conclusions. Science doesn't work that way.

But please stay on topic. I know you want to correct peoples use of the word pedophile, among other things. However you won't appeal to anyone when you quote a sensitive confession and make remarks that in no way help them.

Hasn't really affected my life. I was almost 18/turned 18 when I finally realized I was a pedophile. I was sad about it for a few days, then didn't care. My mom might suspect it, but I haven't done anything about it.

Naxal321 wrote:I think that if our culture's extremely maladaptive attitude towards sexuality causes such severe psycopathology in some individuals who had sex as children with adults, this is a major issue which should be addressed. Sorry, but you don't get to claim a peer-reviewed scientific study is "#######4" because you don't like its conclusions. Science doesn't work that way.

Your ridiculous way of trying to brainwash people into believing that child abuse isn't harmful or it is harmful just because of society's opinions, could lead weaker people here to commit a crime.
A child cannot consent to sex because he/she is not aware of what it is, and is not supposed to.
A child has to he cuddled, loved, guided, not touched sexually.

Ok, this is quite a bit to respond to. First of all I would I like to say I'm sorry to anyone I have offended or may in the following statements offend. My post was not anger based, in fact being in this section of the forum may have helped me in may aspects.

Naxal321- I could, if I felt I needed to provided a plethora of sites and statistics to debate your stance but, I don't feel this is necessary or beneficial. You have obviously already made your mind up and there is no point to argue. I have learned a great deal on this section of the site, things that have made me feel more apathetic than angry. I know a number of you say this is your " sexual preference" I'm sorry but i view it more as a mental illness,which is something I can comprehend and understand as far as not being able to control your thoughts/feelings. A few of you have said that it was not "pedophilia" that has affected my life but a child molester. Many have said through out these forums that there is a difference between the two. I would like to point out that one can very easily blossom into the other. Many here are admiral in the ways that they would do anything in order not to harm a child. Some folks come here very confused and its people like Naxal321 who can lead them down a dark and destructive path. My abuser was a pedophile. He believed he was not harming me, he did not do this purely to harm me or have control and was not an abusive man in other aspects of his life. I believe he did not think this he was harming me and that he did "love" me, but his judgement was clouded. I do not come here to be vindictive but in hopes to show people that despite what Naxal321 had said there are severe reactions caused by adult on child sexual contact.

Sprooglestrewft- You say what I meant was how child abuse has affected my life, no that is not what I meant. I have seen time and time again people on here stating that is a daily struggle not to give into temptation. I state my case in hopes that it would reinforce their morals. Pedophilia with out proper therapy and guidance can easily lead to a path of destruction, like any other metal illness. I believe pedophilia like any mental illness just like emotions are involuntary. That is why i want people to know the reactions of there actions. I'm sorry if the words metal illness offend anyone but you must realize you are on a psych forum.

Ar Ciel- I understand where you are coming from and have read quite a bit of your posts and responses. I appreciate your concern, and yes I have been in therapy. I talked to my therapist tonight and he does think that reading this forum has been beneficial for me and replaced apathy in my heart where there was hate.

ElKahn- I appreciate your concern and defense against people like Naxal321.

Well, I'm a bit dehumanized, a bit defiled, and growing more and more angry

i just wanna hurt somebody, you know?

Not the "I'm gonna show you my love" kind of hurt, I mean blood everywhere your head is my new hacky sack kind of hurt

I need ot get away from all of this, It's driving me nuts. Perhaps I need that man in my life that i've been waiting for fo a few years.

Or I jsut need to smash my head into a brick wall enough imes for me to become a vegetable so I can mooch off my loved ones til' they think it's the right time to pull the plug out of spite.

Rant rant rant.

Pedophilia is not a mental illness. The conclusion of the final DSM-V is that the term "pedophilia" by itself does not refer to a psychiatric disorder. There is no longer an entry for "Pedophilia" but only one for "Pedophilic Disorder", and it states that if individuals "report an absence of feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety about these impulses and are not functionally limited by their paraphilic impulses (according to self-report, objective assessment, or both), and their self-reported and legally recorded histories indicate that they have never acted on their impulses, then these individuals have a pedophilic sexual orientation but not pedophilic disorder."

Mind n Ruins....thank you for understanding my concern about false statements claiming that child abuse is not harmful. But I have to correct you: Naxal is right only when he says pedophilia is not a mental illness. That is true, it is not a mental illness unless it's pedophilic disorder, which is a different thing. It is not a personal opinion, it's a fact.
But that's not the thing I wanna discuss about...
I hope you notice that many of us here can help you. I hope you notice that most of us are against any form of child abuse, may it be psychological or physical, and that Naxal is just one of those pedos who make us all carry the bad name. His behavior is misleading and dangerous.
And I confirm that it is hard struggling with the idea of repressing our feelings. How can we receuve help if we cannot count on anyone out there?? How can we seek help if society hates us and many would even try to kill us? Many people dont even care about the difference between a good, kind-hearted pedophile with strong morals and values and a complete a**hole who commits or would commit an abuse. Many people hate us all, without even caring about this difference. What we demand is a little nit of understanding and help from society. We cannot seek help in a world where there are psychos who would kill us all.
I've just jeard on tv a debate on pedophilia and all they keep saying is "pedophilia is a crime", "pedophiles should be in a list and that list should be public so everyone knows where a pedophile lives" there's wbo would even tell to the public our home addresses", ignoring the fact that we are humans and that someone could come and kill us because they have our home addresses! They dont even realize they were talking about child molesters, pedophiles who actually commited a crime and are registered as sex offenders, sexual predators. But we're not all like that! I am actually very worried after hearing this. I am actually scared.