I'm a pedophile and wish I wasn't.

I'm a 34-year-old gay man who, for probably the last 20 years or so, have always been attracted to boys younger than I. About a year and a half ago I met a young woman through an anonymous pedophile website, and she and I can send e-mails discussing our frustrations and our understanding of how we can never act on our feelings.

I'm especially attracted to certain boys between the ages of 8 and 14. I am a member of a gym where I live and sometimes have an opportunity to see boys of this age group naked in the locker room, and I am so turned on by this. I would NEVER act on my feelings and molest a boy, but I definitely have my fantasies.

I have accepted the fact that pedophilia is almost as much a sexual orientation as my homosexuality is, and I've accepted the fact that I have these feelings. I definitely enjoy the sight of beautiful boys (especially shirtless or naked in the gym locker room). However, I hate the fact that I feel this way. Does anyone have any advice for me?

It's a tough road to travel on, there's not much you can do, just accept yourself as you are and never act on your fantasies with little boys.

I'm a pedo too, struggling with myself, and here for every question you have.

That is a disgrace to be peeving on young children without their permission to do so ...
Go ask one - say can I watch you undress & think of you as I get off ! see what the response would be if older they would beat you up
You say you don't want to be (well for started remove yourself from such temptation !!!!
So perving on them & watching them like a creepy !

You are what you are correct ( that does NOT give you the right to perve on them ) nilly willy as YOU will
Its a disgrace to do so ...
What right do you have to do such a thing?
You have NO idea how horrible it is for a grown woman to be 'watched ' by a man ( eg- if perved on ) it can make the person feel physically sick !
( & here you are watching child ren )
Remove yourself from there presence & change in a cubicle & show them some RESPECT!
YOU are over stepping a line of just thinking about young boys to actually indulging YOUR own fantasies into reality ( oh yes your not touching them but as you said YOU are getting off on them ( SO WRONG ) IN YOUR CURRENT BEHAVIOURS TOWARDS CHILDREN ..!!
aND THIS IS WHY children should have their oWN deressing areas to stop pervy yucky individuals perving on them without their knowledge!!
( if you were found out - you would be arrested in any other circumstance ) so why you think it is ok to do it in this instance..
So So wrong - & all it does is tempt you more & more into wanting children ( bc you do indeed have access to 'watching' them without their consent in any way to do so !

Hey sleeper.. relax. There is no need to be rude to this man. I dont know your sexual preference but I can almost guarantee you have seen people in public places that turn you on. Everyone checks people out if he was looking at men his own age would you be freaking out? Looking without touching is almost healthy in my opinion. Reduces the urge to break the law by finding child porn or acting. There is nothing wrong or creepy about checking people you find attractive out in public. I see a man jogging without a shirt I am gonna look, or a little girl in a bathing suit at the public pool, I'm gonna look at her. Since when do you need permission to check people out?

To the OP, I understand 100% wishing that you could just get rid of the thoughts.. but as i'm sure you know its not going to happen. If you ever want someone to talk to feel free to message me.

Looking at people ( even children in a public open place ) is totally different to where they are naked
I can tell you most children DO NOT like to be 'watched ' whilst being naked ( they like their privacy some just as much as adults) as they mature ( & they are entitled to this )
And there is good reason for children to be taught modesty ( to stop others peeping on them without permission)
Just like some adults would not like a person 'watching' them for their OWN pleasure
(as it would freak out most adults ) to know they are being watched especially so women
( it is an invasion of privacy to be watching someone without permission) !
especially so in this sense ( as they are changing ) not out & about in attire out in the open
it is opportunist & creepy & an invasion of privacy of a minor

A pedo is not allowed to watch child porn for reason
( so why should they be allowed to get off on watching also the real thing ) as it is wrong in every sense of the word !

A child / adult out in the open in bathers/ skirts etc is different ( they have agreed to be seen as such
by other people ( & the parent has also consented to their child wearing their own thing out & about
Its ok to admire someone out in the open ( & yes there are some exceptionally beautiful people around to look at ) ..but that is DIFFERENT to peeping on someone in a change room without their permission to be 'looking' ..
All adult males should be separated from children unless a parent to the child
& children should have separate change rooms Parent rooms / child only rooms )
to allow this not to occur where adults can watch young children undress especially so males on young boys!!!
If the op was looking at adult males the male will pick up on the attention & tell the person to p*ss off or will remove themselves from the creepy person watching them without permission!!
( a child will often not ) hense why the looking is gotten away with...

Children SHOULD have the same rights as adults ( to have the say if someone can look at them or not ) just as an adult can have someone charged for illegally watching / or stalking /or peeping on someone without permission

Sleeper get off your mighty mighty high horse or should I say Donkey! You can justify that you aren't a judgemental prick to the OP but you are and its pretty tacky and sad. He comes here to express how he feels and you do nothing but bash him like a troll. Saying that all kids do not like being looked at when naked or clothed in pure BS! Its like saying that all adults don't like to be looked at in public without permission from someone else.

You say that children should have the same rights as adults so then I guess they should have the right to decide who they want to be sexual with as well. I mean if a child that is like 3 years old can shoot a parent who leaves that gun out then a child can consent to have sex with an adult? Yeah that sounds very screwed up doesn't it? Sounds exactly like what your so called points are!

People arent permitted to watch child porn because they are witnessing a crime. In order for the child porn to be made a child has to be abused. In public there is no reason to expect privacy. In a locker room if you personally dont want to be looked at for any reason.. people looking at you, your own self consciousness.. whatever.. then you should or a parent should advise you to change in a stall. Some people get turned on by feet or by watching people eat certain foods.. should they be not allowed to go get a pedicure or to restaurants? the idea that it is the viewers fault for looking is insanity. and PS. I am a female pedophile. So explain to me why it is that adult men should be only ever allowed near their own children?

JJessx92 wrote:Hey sleeper.. relax. There is no need to be rude to this man.

To the OP, I understand 100% wishing that you could just get rid of the thoughts.. but as i'm sure you know its not going to happen. If you ever want someone to talk to feel free to message me.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your response very much. I'll probably take you up on your offer to send you a private message.

You're absolutely right. I do wish I could get rid of the thoughts because they're absolutely sickening. However, I've accepted the fact that I have them and enjoy the sights I can without causing any harm to these precious kids. I have NEVER crossed the line and never will.

-- Sun Sep 15, 2013 3:38 pm --

HowardCL wrote:Sleeper get off your mighty mighty high horse or should I say Donkey! You can justify that you aren't a judgemental prick to the OP but you are and its pretty tacky and sad. He comes here to express how he feels and you do nothing but bash him like a troll.

Thank you so much, HowardCL. Sleeper is a judgmental prick. I think all of us come in here to discuss some serious issues we have. We don't need judgmental a**holes trying to make us feel worse about ourselves than we already feel.

sleeper^ wrote:That is a disgrace to be peeving on young children without their permission to do so ...
So perving on them & watching them like a creepy !

You are what you are correct ( that does NOT give you the right to perve on them ) nilly willy as YOU will
Its a disgrace to do so ...
What right do you have to do such a thing?

Remove yourself from there presence & change in a cubicle & show them some RESPECT!
YOU are over stepping a line of just thinking about young boys to actually indulging YOUR own fantasies into reality ( oh yes your not touching them but as you said YOU are getting off on them ( SO WRONG ) IN YOUR CURRENT BEHAVIOURS TOWARDS CHILDREN ..!!
aND THIS IS WHY children should have their oWN deressing areas to stop pervy yucky individuals perving on them without their knowledge!!
( if you were found out - you would be arrested in any other circumstance ) so why you think it is ok to do it in this instance..
So So wrong - & all it does is tempt you more & more into wanting children ( bc you do indeed have access to 'watching' them without their consent in any way to do so !

Thanks for being a judgmental a**hole. I already feel bad enough about myself. Thanks for making me feel worse.

Listen... I know that I'm a perv. I wish I wasn't. And like someone else said, when people change in an open locker room, they are doing that knowing full well that someone might happen to see their private areas. Some kids are more modest than others. For the ones who are not modest, I just happen to see them naked and sometimes enjoy looking. I do my best to not stare and try to do it when they're not looking my way - so as to not make them feel uncomfortable.

What would I be arrested for? I've never molested a child!

Cheex...
I understand what you're saying. Every time I got aroused by a children, I feel sick and wish I wasn't a pedophile. It's indeed bad. But you can avoid those situations. You can avoid children. It's not doing any good to you and you also have that temptation. I'm not saying you will act on your desires, but certain situations should be avoided and that's one of 'em. You're attracted to children yet you have full access to a locker room with 8-y-o boys naked. Are you sure you can keep up with this for so long? Wouldn't be better to avoid 'em?