Im a teen girl attracted to male pedophiles, why?

by **HeartShapedGlasses** » Tue Oct 01, 2013 3:10 pm

dahlquist wrote:EXACTLY. Except I am attracted to very young girls as well as older men who like them. I wish more than anything i could be a 6 year old girl again and have an older man take advantage of me. I keep thinking that since i thought like that as a little girl then surely most other little girls would like it too.

I lived with my mother for a while as a child, she was a prostitute and would constantly have men going in and out of the house. She hardly paid attention to me, but every once in a while one of the men would pay attention to me, and id want more than anything for them to just have their way with me, i could almost sense when they wanted to too. With my mother in the business she was in i was introduced to sex at a very young age. When i stopped living with my mother i moved around from various family members homes constantly being dropped off on someone else. I feel that my lack of a real father figure and lack of a sturdy living environment may have created the desire for an older male. I remember i would draw pictures of me having sex with my teacher when i was in 2nd grade. It was only after i turned 15 i started liking young girls too. Mostly out of jealousy because to me 15 wasn't young enough anymore to be desired by an older man but young girls are. I become angry at times that i didn't have my chance as a little girl wishing i could give them what i want so they wont be angry like i am as they grow older. I hate it in a few months ill be 18 and "legal" no longer a tempestuous underage girl. just another regular 18 year old. Sure people want 18 year olds because its safe. But i bet most men would love the chance with someone younger. An age i never will be again. Past my prime.
I also have a strong desire to be raped because to me rape is the ULTIMATE form of lust and desire. Needing it so badly that you have to take it by force because you just cant handle it anymore. Driven crazy by a need you can no longer control. It's extremely erotic.

Anyways enough that's a me. I REALLY appreciate all the responses now that ive said a little more maybe i can get some more in depth answers. and im very interested in any others out there like me.

P.S. I am not a thirty something year old man, if there is some way i can prove it to you let me know and ill happily do it just so we can clear the air about that.

This post pretty much clears it up.

Look, I honestly don't think your situation is all that uncommon at all (the being obsessed with much older sexual deviants part). For most girls that I've heard about, they have an absent father figure and being young and powerless gave them an edge for men who have sex on their minds.
It makes them feel special, I suppose? Yet I'm being "taken advantage of" and so none of this is my fault.

I don't think this is the best forum to post this kind of question in - at all. I think that getting a boyfriend your age is not a good idea. I think your issue with old men will be a problem in your relationship. I mean, I've been there and done that, lusting over teachers, married men, pedophiles (and having a major rape fantasy didn't help). So I connected a LOT with your post.

It'd be completely normal if you weren't actually looking up sex offenders online and hung around hoping to get abducted. That's extremely destructive behaviour, and it worries me a lot. I don't think you quite understand the difference between fantasy vs. reality, but I think this is mainly just a lack of experience and knowledge in this area.

With what you said, it seems like this is like a symptom of a bigger issue, so seeing a therapist is the only way to get better. They're confidential and they've heard pretty much everything. You can ease into the more intimate details when you're comfortable and start off with any non-sexual issues you may be having?

But I also understand that this is something that is major turn on for you, so have you considered finding a partner that's willing to roleplay with you? I suggest just giving it a try with someone you are COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE with. I have a "daddy" who I see regularly, and there are so many other girls with the same thing. If you message me, I can give you links to some blogs with girls talking about it.

"P.S. I am not a thirty something year old man, if there is some way i can prove it to you let me know and ill happily do it just so we can clear the air about that"
Please don't pass out pictures of yourself to anyone...

It sounds like you had a very difficult childhood growing up. I'm very sorry to hear this. Do you think working on your childhood with a therapist could be an option? It sounds like most of your problems could possibly stem from this, and exploring that might really benefit you. Many trauma survivors experience fantasies having to do with everything from rape to paedophilia to many other things. These fantasies, when coming from trauma, can often be alleviated. Thinking of you.

by **confusedperson812** » Wed Oct 02, 2013 2:58 am

Thanks for answering my questions.

The problem with the theory that you had a traumatic childhood is that i experienced the same thing as you and did not have a traumatic childhood of any kind.

Yet i wish i was 12
I loved myself at 12
And i was attracted to boys at 12 and still am at 30

The only thing pointing me to that is i am a born gay pedo.

And you like all those things i mentioned. You have a fight every time you see girls. Well i have a fight every time i see boys.

And i didn't have a traumatic childhood. I had a great childhood.

So maybe yours is caused by a traumatic childhood but then i don't know what mine is caused from other than i was born a gay pedo, so i naturally liked myself and wanted others to notice also at age 12.

Anyway. If your attracted to the girls you are a gay pedo like me. If you just want them to experience the wonders of bring liked and tampered with, without being attracted to their faces, bodies,nhands, feet, etc. then you may be like me but not a pedo.

by **Yorkshirelass** » Wed Oct 02, 2013 7:51 am

confusedperson812
The problem with the theory that you had a traumatic childhood is that i experienced the same thing as you and did not have a traumatic childhood of any kind.

Interesting. I have always tended to put these things down to nurture in the past, but am starting to change my mind.
Maybe some people are just born like that.
Like narcissists, there is an insistence that all narcissists are 'traumatised' have been abused, that they are unhappy and secretly insecure.
But thats just not true.
My mother is a narc (she took after her father) she was not abused, she is in no way 'traumatised' she has never been depressed. And she is happy. (Though she has managed to make her children's lives a misery but that another story)

Must be how one's brain is wired.
Are you still in contact with your parents, and on good terms? I suppose they do not know how you feel about this issue though.

by **lifelongthing** » Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:44 am

The problem with the theory that you had a traumatic childhood is that i experienced the same thing as you and did not have a traumatic childhood of any kind.

That only raises a problem if you say that is the only thing that can cause paedophilia. For instance, I personally have dissociative identity disorder. This can be caused by abuse, but it does not have to.

Some experience desires and fetishes because of trauma, some may experience it because they are born that way or any number of reasons I wouldn't know where to start to make assumptions for. When someone has a major trauma history though, I think it's good to deal with that no matter if one thinks the paedophilic desires stem from that or not

by **confusedperson812** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 10:24 pm

I am not saying that a childhood can't be turned into pedophilia through abuse or trauma. I believe it can be entirely for most because of trauma. I am just saying that i think i was born that way and had a good childhood. I recall and even have images of 8 to 12 year old boys when i was 8 and 12 years old. I recall it since that early of an age and the age range has never changed even now. I remember physically liking real life boys in boy scouts and i had no idea what gay was let alone pedophillia back then.

And just so you know i did have a good childhood, my parents do know about my situation just because i needed someone to talk to besides this forum. They accept me but think i can control it.

by **Arbie Wun** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 11:17 am

** POSSIBLE TRIGGER **

Abuse at a young age has many varied outcomes, I can remember as a child playing games with other children that were somewhat more involved than others, and some took on a sexual nature without my knowing they were what most parents would call taboo.

I can vaguely being a 7 year old and playing with a 6 year old girl who lived near my grandparents house. We played house and did what most parents do right down to the getting naked and touching and kissing each other etc. As a child I didn't see this as being wrong because I had experienced these so called games with older people a couple years earlier and had been told that it was ok and that it was our little secret game. These games happened rather regularly and my play tended to mirror these games a little but only in secret (like the adults did)

Even later on my games were somewhat sexual in nature ( at the age of 10 I got in trouble for doing something with a girl I shouldn't have) I don't actually remember the whole incident, just that I got in trouble for it and was grounded for a month.

by **confusedperson812** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:58 pm

Hey teen girl.

I owe you this.

I found out that I am possibly not born a pedo.

When I was three years old I had many things done to my private parts because of old school doctors for their answers to cure certain things.

I was basically traumatized and very impressionable so I was told.

I owe this to you teen girl.

That's why I can recall having pedo desires at age 8 all the way until now.

by **Arik** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:54 pm

confusedperson812 wrote:Tell me if these things you thought:

Did you like yourself ALOT at the age of your attraction. Because I can tell you for a fact I DID. And I wanted someone else to notice as well. Cause I was a pedo back then. Born a pedo. I was at the age that I liked most.

I know this is off topic but in my opinion, you asked a very good question. To answer that question, no. Even as a male child I wanted to be a female child.

by **xoPinkerbelleox** » Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:49 am

THISSSSS.

I was very much this girl in middle school/high school.

Quite frankly, I still don't much like guys in my age group. College boys? Bleh. Gimme a Daddy any day! Most of the guys that interest me are around 35-50, and they do tend to like me because I look younger.

Pretty sure I know why. *womp womp*

Im a teen girl attracted to male pedophiles, why?

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