by callano » Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:15 am
I don't play with toys or cartoons but I'm always off in my own world for some reason and I really think this is part of it. I don't like to socialize much because in my mind, it "dilutes" my world as I see it, the more people I know, I inevitably have to compromise something I enjoy or stifle it around them. I avoid getting caught up in social media or anything like that as well, who am I showing myself off for? For the longest time I even avoided getting a cell phone because I didn't want to be "connected" or have my life dependent on it like so many people do. I wish though that I was more like everyone else though, because it makes life difficult to try to maintain this bubble I'm perpetually in and do very much with life because I don't know what a normal existence is beyond it. Everything I have reflects it, the music I like is from before I was born as is the car I drive. My house looks like something out of Mad Men. I have an appreciation for simplicity and conciseness, I think it's beautiful, and generally kids, or in my case little girls fall in that category.
I found through experience, that I love to be them because they're the same way, they just do what pleases them and the things that interest them or catch their eye, that adults would usually not give a second look at, amazingly get to me as well. We aren't always into the same things, but I feel this parallel where they just go about their day the same way I do. It was really cool when I first felt that. Adult women are usually always caught up in one thing or another or too busy living for other people's approval or status. That's not to say I shun all adults, but I feel this soul connection with some kids, and even though I like girls I've felt it from both.