Why is that some normal guys turn to younger girls for sex?

Like on Dateline To Catch a Predator, there were a lot of guys who didnt have girlfriends or were going through stressful situations (like going through a divorce, not having enough money, having a bad job), so they decided to go on to a chatroom and "hook up" with a 12 - 14 year old girl, only to be busted by the police.

So why is it that for some normal, adult-attracted women turn to younger females when theyre highly stressed or want a female partner (and want sexual gratification, but cant get it since they dont have a wife or girlfriend)?

Younger people are more easy to manipulate and take advantage of. Plus shame and other factors make them less likely to report anyone. At that age I used to talk to older guys on line a lot, and some other, less innocent stuff -- when you're just starting puberty and you spend every day feeling weird and vulnerable it's easy to get swept up in whatever an older person says.I think when people experience stressful periods as you talked about, they look for something/someone that they can control and that won't reject them/ doesn't know how to say no. Girls of that age are vulnerable to suggestion and often haven't had the chance to develop as much of a strong sense of self as women or older teens have.

Then again, this could just be baseless babbling

Plus some people are just more attracted to that age range (hebephiles).

wellhellothere wrote:Younger people are more easy to manipulate and take advantage of. Plus shame and other factors make them less likely to report anyone. At that age I used to talk to older guys on line a lot, and some other, less innocent stuff -- when you're just starting puberty and you spend every day feeling weird and vulnerable it's easy to get swept up in whatever an older person says.I think when people experience stressful periods as you talked about, they look for something/someone that they can control and that won't reject them/ doesn't know how to say no. Girls of that age are vulnerable to suggestion and often haven't had the chance to develop as much of a strong sense of self as women or older teens have.

Then again, this could just be baseless babbling

Plus some people are just more attracted to that age range (hebephiles).

Definitely agree with you...after all most of those men would prefer a woman over a young girl but deep down they would know that taking advantage of the latter is much easier than doing so with the former (grown women).

I also agree with wellhellothere. It makes sense that men would need someone they could control when experiencing a time of stress.

I know a number of guys that have turned towards much younger girls (though not in the prepubescent stage) because they find them less discerning of the guys problems (the fact he's 25 working 20 hours at Subway doesn't red flag a fourteen year old), more open to the kind of relationship the guy wants (less commitment, more sex and affection, less real world concerns), and obviously also the manipulation factor. Though I will say, the guys I've known did not realize they were being manipulative despite the fact that relationships like that are inherently manipulative.

I have watched vlogs of one guy saying that girls his age just don't seem to want what he wants anymore, that they all break up with him before eight weeks, and it's always the girls "lying and decieving" him because they don't communicate to him directly what's wrong with him so he can change it and make it work. Then he started dating a fourteen year old online, which gave him what he wanted without the reality check, and he gets to play mature adult in-so-far as she sees him without actually having to grow up.

From a strictly top-down view, I think it often happens when someone realizes (consciously or not) that what they are going for is not working and they find an easier solution to satisfy themselves in a younger girl. I've also seen relatively straight men turn to bisexuality for similar reasons.

I agree with you Ashlar ... In every case that I can think of like this, the guy had some deficiency (lived with his parents, emotional issues, generally just not coping with their $#%^), and the relationship was never really substantial because 14 year olds aren't capable of, or expecting, the maturity that a woman expects.

Yeah, I don't think most of these guys set out with the explicit intent of being manipulative or predatory, it's just that everything they want requires them to do so (so that they end up doing it without really thinking about it). It's skeevy.

Ashlar wrote:I have watched vlogs of one guy saying that girls his age just don't seem to want what he wants anymore, that they all break up with him before eight weeks, and it's always the girls "lying and decieving" him. Then he started dating a fourteen year old online, which gave him what he wanted without the reality check, and he gets to play mature adult in-so-far as she sees him without actually having to grow up.

This reminds me of gross PUAs and their entitlement issues surrounding women. Like they deserve them. And then these guys realise that they aren't good enough for women (because they are deficient in important qualities like self sufficiency, not being obnoxious man-children, lacking respect etc ... the whole concept of alpha/beta/omega males, ugh) and blame the women for that. And then they f*ck vulnerable teenage girls rather than improving themselves.

I'd like to quickly clarify that I have nothing against hebephiles if that's your orientation, but rather I have strong feeling about people who take advantage of children (fourteen year olds are very much still children, both by law and because of their underdeveloped brains). Sorry if I come off as a bit harsh and unforgiving ...

wellhellothere wrote:I'd like to quickly clarify that I have nothing against hebephiles if that's your orientation, but rather I have strong feeling about people who take advantage of children (fourteen year olds are very much still children, both by law and because of their underdeveloped brains). Sorry if I come off as a bit harsh and unforgiving ...

Yeah, there is an obvious distinction between what we are talking about in this thread and hebephilia. This is one of the reasons I find, "To Catch a Predator" awkward. Obviously the legal standing is based on numeric age, because that's the tool we have, but I do see relevant distinctions between the various different sorts of circumstances that might put someone onto this show. The question was in regards to men who otherwise seem to be attracted to adult women that, under duress, turn towards younger women. It's even worth pointing out that the women they use as honey-pots are of-age and adults, even if they appear younger. It's definitely a television show for ratings, and it puts a lot of things in weird places.

All of this also says nothing for younger girls that are attracted to older men. The fourteen year old from my story also was (at 13) going after an even older guy.

Maybe because they missed out on girls that age the first go around?

And even Chris Hansen himself has already long ago admitted, that the men on the show aren't pedophiles. It seems regular men, non-pedophile, can still be attracted to girls as young as 11 or 12 without any paraphilia at all. I've seen 11 year old girls (yes, I happen to know they were 11, they were relatives), with big bulging breasts, flirting with normal looking young men in everyday life.

Some girls this age have to be practically tied down to stop them from going after young adult men. This is very frowned upon, and can result in huge legal trouble, but it is not pedophilia. I'm a real pedophile, and to me, seeing a well-developed young girl, I might be attracted, but it will probably in the less exciting (to me), more normal way, that I am to young women. To me seeing a well-developed 13 year old isn't some big pedo thrill, but more like "boring, she looks too much like a young adult woman."

Really activating my pedophilic preferences is more like when I see a pretty little 6 year old crawling all over her grandpa, the other day, and think "wow, that's hot!" Most of the guys that I have seen flirting with well-developed 11 year olds, and most of the guys on To Catch a Predator, surely would not share that attraction with me. Because they aren't pedophiles. Chris Hansen has stated this, as I said, look it up. They are just guys going after women deemed too young by law. We should make this distinction, instead of calling every guy going after an underage girl a pedophile. It is just not the case.

Men having difficulties with women (very, very, common) seem to often find teen girls a somewhat comparable substitute, you don't need to be a pedophile, unlike with say, an 8 year old. So it just doesn't seem that surprising to me.

I think a lot of them use the "stressful situation" thing as an excuse, because they, understandably, don't want to admit on public television that they came there just to bang a 12-year-old.

Plus, like the others said, you can control a kid easier. They're easier to influence, easier to bribe, more likely to trust. Plus, their wife/family is less likely to find out, and even if they did, they think- who's going to believe some pre-teen girl?