How I survived temptation by a 6 year old blonde (epic post)

A while back my female friend that I hang out with was babysitting a 6 year old blonde girl. She was a jaw-dropping stunner right off the digital pages of a child modeling site. And she liked me. A lot. She made that quite clear.

My friend was making dinner for all of us and I was tired (which was partly from the little girl hanging on me all day and having to contrive the appearance of not loving it). So I went to rest on her bed for a while before we ate. Normally, I wouldn't want to get away from a beautiful little girl, but I had been hanging around all day already, and I still had hours (and hours of acting) left to go. Well wouldn't you know it, she comes into my friend's room where I am resting a bit after a couple minutes, and lays beside me. I really had been okay that day, not feeling particularly sexual towards the girl, not even when she sat on my lap (her idea).

But now with her laying beside me, and her being the very affectionate little girl she is, she starts petting my arm. I look at her pretty little face, with an adoring look in her eye. She really likes me. And that makes me feel fantastic. But then I look down at her perfect little blonde girl legs. To me they look much like the legs of a hot adult chick, but smaller. Am I really seeing things that differently than other guys?

For the first time that day, I suddenly got a real urge to touch her. Those legs of hers were so beautiful to me. My hands begged me to let me stroke her little legs and thighs, like she had stroked my arm so lovingly. It seems so simple, but somehow it had such a great pull on me. I still think about it. And can still feel the desire now, even in the memory.

Why do I want this so badly? What explains this appeal almost magical it seems that so many of us will throw our lives away? I had been okay up till then. But that moment got fairly close to doing me in. I really feel the little girl would have gone for it. She is a pretty needy child, lacking in male attention. She was all over me a lot of the time. It seemed like a little free touching would make me so happy.

What it really be that harmful? I honestly don't think she would have minded at the time. Maybe later after some therapist told her how horrible it all supposedly was. But I didn't debate it long. I got up and removed myself from the situation. I said "c'mon, (beautiful little girl's name) I bet dinner's ready now." And it was.

And the temptation didn't get that intense again in the small amounts of times I was around her in the days after. She has moved away now. I still think about her, but she will probably doesn't even remember me. Or soon won't.

I guess this could be an argument for pedophiles not having contact with kids. But to the best of my knowledge, most of us still don't ever really cross the line, despite sometimes great temptation. I just don't think I could give up the little bit of time I have around them. They are one of the few things that give my life meaning. And what is life without meaning?

P.S. This was awhile ago. And I feel I have gotten myself under somewhat better control since then. And even then I didn't do it. Even though it's the toughest time I've had for years. I am open to ways to further increase safety and control. But I can't give up most of what gives my life any meaning at all. I just can't.

I applaud your attempts at impulse control. I am sure you are aware that many pedophiles believe children are the provacatures; you are wise to see the difference. I mean I would love to snort an 8 ball but I have learned the value of shutting off that part of the world and my mind. Our inner demons often appear to be our best, most gratifying aquantances when in reality te
Hey lead us down a path of self destruction.

I firmly believe that some situations in our lives are set up by the Gods to test our mettle. I applaud your strength in that moment, because a lesser individual would have given in.

Stay Strong,
Belle

I'm so happy to hear that you were able to hold back. *Applauds*

UnluckyPaladin wrote:What it really be that harmful? I honestly don't think she would have minded at the time. Maybe later after some therapist told her how horrible it all supposedly was. But I didn't debate it long. I got up and removed myself from the situation. I said "c'mon, (beautiful little girl's name) I bet dinner's ready now." And it was.

P.S. This was awhile ago. And I feel I have gotten myself under somewhat better control since then. And even then I didn't do it. Even though it's the toughest time I've had for years. I am open to ways to further increase safety and control. But I can't give up most of what gives my life any meaning at all. I just can't.

The first paragraph in the quote is something I always debate, is it really harmful, or is it the influence of being told that it was bad and wrong to have a sexual relation as a child. Someone should do studies on this, this would help us either enforce laws or drop them. I for one haven't suffered with my memories of being sexually active as a child with an adult or other children. Neither has my friend (who is not a pedophile) but there are people that have. So it's a rather vague line.

At the last paragraph. Pedophilia is control, control so you won't do something that will harm the child, whatever it may be. And I can understand the not wanting to give up what gives your life meaning. I gave that up and life has no meaning for me whatsoever.

Haha Simontheo...

I'll keep that in mind for when I write my dissertation.

I know how you feel!:( And I'm glad you did the right thing, eventhough it's sometimes one of the most painful things to have to do... And yeah, when they leave and never return. You're left knowing that they'll never remember you, despite that they'll haunt your memories for a life time. All we can do is treasure the moment's we're given, and stay legal. it's hard, but it's all we have.

-Nezumi

I don't you think you "survived" anything, you just did what any normal person should do. What you shouldn't have done was let her in the same bed as you when you have an attraction to her and poor self-control.

ReVamp wrote:I don't you think you "survived" anything, you just did what any normal person should do. What you shouldn't have done was let her in the same bed as you when you have an attraction to her and poor self-control.

But I'm not a "normal" person, I'm a raging pedophile. By "survived" I mean I didn't touch her. If my self control was really poor, I would have touched her sexually.

UnluckyPaladin wrote:

ReVamp wrote:I don't you think you "survived" anything, you just did what any normal person should do. What you shouldn't have done was let her in the same bed as you when you have an attraction to her and poor self-control.

But I'm not a "normal" person, I'm a raging pedophile. By "survived" I mean I didn't touch her. If my self control was really poor, I would have touched her sexually.

A lot people here are pedophiles. You did have poor self-control. Had you not, then the thought of touching her wouldn't have crossed your mind. You seemed to have been struggling. You shouldn't have let a younger girl into the same bed. It's common sense to not molest children. I don't see it as praise-worthy.

ReVamp wrote:

UnluckyPaladin wrote:

ReVamp wrote:I don't you think you "survived" anything, you just did what any normal person should do. What you shouldn't have done was let her in the same bed as you when you have an attraction to her and poor self-control.

But I'm not a "normal" person, I'm a raging pedophile. By "survived" I mean I didn't touch her. If my self control was really poor, I would have touched her sexually.

A lot people here are pedophiles. You did have poor self-control. Had you not, then the thought of touching her wouldn't have crossed your mind. You seemed to have been struggling. You shouldn't have let a younger girl into the same bed. It's common sense to not molest children. I don't see it as praise-worthy.

Try not thinking of a pink elephant. Did you prevent one from crossing your mind? Even if you say so, I can't belive you because it's already known that we don't have that much control over some of what pops into our heads.

And I did put the thought out my mind after a few seconds and defused the situation, as I said in the OP. This all happened pretty fast. All in all, I think I did pretty good for a raging pedophile. I'm not giving up little girls entirely. Little else makes me very happy.