Can't get diagnosed for Sexual Sadism until next year...

I'm going to be completely honest and open: In the past, I used to get fantasies of girls screaming and crying, all the while being scantily-clad. I used to fantasize about those girls wearing skimpy clothing being dragged into the darkness screaming (imagine that they're in total darkness), or even being raped. And I used to enjoy those thoughts!

Nowadays, I respect women so much. Although I have acted on my thoughts in small, insignificant ways in grades 7 and 8, I would never, EVER do anything to hurt ANYONE nowadays. But I still get those fantasies, and I get turned on by them. I'm able to masturbate to them. The thing is, I don't want to get turned on by them, and I hate the fact that I can masturbate to them. I'm sorry to whoever engages in BDSM, because that's a totally legit way to do things, but I find those thoughts to be, well, bad. Yet I still get turned on by those thoughts!

I've had these thoughts for years. Like, almost 6 years.

That's all I have to say. Is that enough information for everyone? I also have Tourettes, and my friend who's a licensed expert in Tourettes says that these sexual thoughts are probably caused by TS.

My question now is: Does it sound like I have Sexual Sadism?

B&D and S&M does nothing for me. But I do get off on rape. I think a lot of men do just won't admit it.

Nothing on earth is more disturbing to me. Please get help. It is not okay to enjoy rape.

Whatever thoughts you are masterbating to, you are reinforcing that behavior. Evenutally for some, it becomes the only things that satisfies them, and /or it becomes progressive and they have to do more hard core things that they would normally find repugnant etc.

For example, some men are repulsed by other men, yet male on male fantasy rape is the only thing that satisfies them sexually. Because it is deviant thus, exciting. They hate themselves afterwards, but do it again. After a while they even risk jail by soliciting strangers in parks and on the streets. They get caught, go to jail, and then do it again. That is what sexual addiction looks like.

In other words, avoid marsterbating to those thoughts, and avoid any pornography that includes those images that you feel unfortable with. If you have tried to do that and you can't stop, it is possible you have already "progressesed" and have some level of sex addiction. You are wise to want to overcome these impulses as soon as possible.

Tabs wrote:Nothing on earth is more disturbing to me. Please get help. It is not okay to enjoy rape.

So what do you masturbate to?

Sexual sadism is no longer considered a disorder by most mental health professionals.
Mrmr, it sounds like the problem is not that you have these thoughts, but that you don't want to be turned on by them. As Michelleinmichigan mentioned, you can choose not to masturbate to such thoughts, and that may help break the habit of associating sadistic thoughts with sexual pleasure. Instead, just let such thoughts pass. Don't fight them; just let them go. The thoughts themselves are not bad or wrong. You could try using techniques to help with OCD if you find you keep worrying about having 'bad' thoughts.

mrmr wrote:I'm going to be completely honest and open: In the past, I used to get fantasies of girls screaming and crying, all the while being scantily-clad. I used to fantasize about those girls wearing skimpy clothing being dragged into the darkness screaming (imagine that they're in total darkness), or even being raped. And I used to enjoy those thoughts!

Nowadays, I respect women so much.

I pretty much enjoy the same thoughts. There's nothing wrong with being turned on by extreme fantasies, unless you're saying you're worried you'd act on them?

I don't explicitly respect women beyond the fact they're human beings like anyone else, but the fact I enjoy violent sex doesn't make me disrespect women - our sexualities are pretty random and uncontrollable, but as long as you're not hurting anyone there's no need to give yourself a guilt trip over your fantasies.

Rape is one of the most common sexual fantasies, for both men and women source. There's absolutely nothing abnormal about fantasising about rape. Naturally, if you're actually planning to rape someone for real that is highly abnormal, however the fantasy is exceptionally widespread.

You're not a sexual sadist. You haven't said anything that implies you enjoy inflicting pain, so unless you've left a lot unsaid you're pretty much just a guy who doesn't recognise how normal his fantasies are.