NEW AND CONFUSED! *sensitive topic*

To start off this is my first time joining a forum like this and I honestly don't know where to begin. I'm 19 and for the last few years I've been attracted to images of young children of various ages in sexual situations. I was introduced to it online quite a few years ago and ever since I've had it on my mind in some way or another. My biggest concern is that I enjoy seeing images of young kids in sexual situations even though I hate the feeling I get afterwards. I've been holding it in for a long time and honestly don't know what to do now or know how to deal with any of this so any help would be greatly appreciated.

Hello and welcome. You will find unjudgemental and supportive people here, so you've come to the right place. I myself do not view such material, not merely because it's illegal, but also because I would not like to see children engaging in sexual activity as I'd find it upsetting and don't want the memories. Even if they appear to be enjoying it, I doubt any child in such circumstances has said 'by the way, can we film this?'

A lot of people come on here with issues viewing illegal material online. Some are genuinely attracted to children, and some get off on the taboo element. Either way the common factor is that the viewer feels that they are not fully in control, so there is some element of addiction (otherwise they'd say without difficulty 'OK, I'm not going to do that again', and they'd never do it again). There are plenty of people here who will be able to provide advice on issues of porn addiction (taboo or otherwise) and impulse control. There is also a section of this forum called Sexual Addiction (not that you can't post here, of course!). But at bottom I think that the root of the problem is porn addiction and you happen to be attracted to children, since it is perfectly possible to be attracted to children and not be addicted to porn, or not even view it at all.

If you began viewing such images as a child and spent years making it seem more normal it seems natural that you would enjoy it. What if you had never seen those things? You might not be troubled by any kind of sexual interest in children. I don't know. But I suggest you could try to stop viewing those materials and see what happens after awhile.

I've seen the kind of images you mentioned and it hasn't done me any good. These days I stay away from that stuff and life is more peaceful. I don't even look at adult erotica.

I'd like to say first that I've never harmed a child in my life nor do I intend to. I'm around kids daily and I've never felt the urge to engage sexually with them. I'm simply here to try to get past the things I've viewed over the last few years and find a way to stop being drawn to such materials. I hate how it got started in the first place and I think a lot of it stemmed from when I was molested as a kid. I don't want to become the person that harmed me when I was younger so I'm trying to curb things now before it gets worse.

Are you attracted to only the images or to children IRL?