paedophile and fine with it

i wish we lived in a world where evidence of wrongdoing was a requirement. but we're talking about mob-mentality persecution; a witch hunt. what is happening now is not much less barbaric than the real witch hunts (carl sagan has a very good chapter about them in "the demon-haunted world". as a fellow atheist, maybe you've already read it).

i don't fear anyone's judgement. i fear what they're willing to DO about it. i don't want to be the next matthew sheppard.

i don't think death itself is a thing to fear. but i fear being deprived of a full life. i have goals in life, things i want to accomplish. i have one amazing person in my life who makes me feel valued, and i want to share that kind of connection with others, and enrich their lives as much as they enrich mine. i can't do any of this if i'm afraid of everyone

The Beholder wrote:i wish we lived in a world where evidence of wrongdoing was a requirement. but we're talking about mob-mentality persecution; a witch hunt. what is happening now is not much less barbaric than the real witch hunts (carl sagan has a very good chapter about them in "the demon-haunted world". as a fellow atheist, maybe you've already read it).

Never read Sagan unfortunately.

Group think and the mob mentality is definitely something that's troubling. However I do believe you are taking this thing a bit too far. Maybe I'm wrong I don't know because I'm not familiar with Canada and especially their suburban culture. What I do know is that you are afraid, terrified, of someone accusing you of even being something that you are not (attracted to young boys). I feel as though your fear is a bit disproportionate in this case. I don't think fear has much use anyway but if it is ever used it should at least fit the bill so to speak.

The Beholder wrote:i don't fear anyone's judgement. i fear what they're willing to DO about it. i don't want to be the next matthew sheppard.

i don't think death itself is a thing to fear. but i fear being deprived of a full life. i have goals in life, things i want to accomplish. i have one amazing person in my life who makes me feel valued, and i want to share that kind of connection with others, and enrich their lives as much as they enrich mine. i can't do any of this if i'm afraid of everyone

I'm convinced that death is what you fear. You can't say you don't fear death but then list fearing various types of living. Sound reasonable? If death is the absence of life and life (for you) is your goals, accomplishments, the amazing person, your connections, enriching, being enriched etc., you fear losing it.

There is not much I can offer in the form of advice in this case except recognizing the possibility that you may be exaggerating or overestimating these people that are around you because of your paralyzing fear. If however your assessment is correct, it would be best that you get out of that area and go to a less mob like environment, like a city or maybe even a different, more friendly country if possible.

you know, if i was outed, i'd lose my job immediately and not be able to get another. that would be more than enough to put an end to everything i've ever wanted out of life. i'd be homeless. even if i didn't die, what i'd be left with would be worse than death.

think it through. really think. if i was outed, i'd be more than a social pariah with no job and no home. i'd be the focus of everyone's insecurities expressed as misdirected anger. anything people did to me would be overlooked by police because they'd believe i deserve it.

i don't know where you get the impression that i'd need to commit a crime for this to be a problem.

as it stands, i have several users and a moderator discriminating against me on this very page. what does that tell you?

The Beholder wrote:as it stands, i have several users and a moderator discriminating against me on this very page. what does that tell you?

You have views that a lot of people don't agree with.

tht's my right and their right. it's nobody's right to silence me because they disagree. i have never advocated harming anyone or breaking the law, but it has simply been assumed that i did, and by one user it was assumed that i would do so myself. that's discrimination. i came here seeking help because i'm paralysed by fear of discrimination, and now i'm faced with it here as well. what kind of support forum is this that prohibits support and allows moderators to taunt and torment people seeking help? this is sick.

i have someone to live for now, but if this had happened a year ago, it would be a different situation. do you know what it's like to have a moment of absolute certainty that the best thing you could ever do with your life is end it? i'm not talking about a moment of emotional anguish, i mean pure calm rational acceptance. it's a ######6 terrifying thing. maybe the moderators on this board should be thinking about what their behaviour does to people. unless that's exactly what they're doing.

you people should all be ashamed of yourself for letting this happen. now i need to get off of here before i start to cry and wake her up.

The Beholder wrote:tht's my right and their right. it's nobody's right to silence me because they disagree. i have never advocated harming anyone or breaking the law, but it has simply been assumed that i did, and by one user it was assumed that i would do so myself. that's discrimination. i came here seeking help because i'm paralysed by fear of discrimination, and now i'm faced with it here as well. what kind of support forum is this that prohibits support and allows moderators to taunt and torment people seeking help? this is sick.

It's human to nature to hate what you don't understand. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

-- Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:19 am --

The Beholder wrote:i have someone to live for now, but if this had happened a year ago, it would be a different situation. do you know what it's like to have a moment of absolute certainty that the best thing you could ever do with your life is end it? i'm not talking about a moment of emotional anguish, i mean pure calm rational acceptance. it's a ######6 terrifying thing. maybe the moderators on this board should be thinking about what their behaviour does to people. unless that's exactly what they're doing.

If you can't handle it, then why are you on the internet?

you people should all be ashamed of yourself for letting this happen. now i need to get off of here before i start to cry and wake her up.

Hey now, this is out of line. I mentioned it on another thread and I'll mention it again: your tone is by turns combative, dismissive, and argumentative. The reactions you're getting might be a response to this. It may have less to do with what you're saying then HOW you are saying it.

This IS a support forum; what I feel, from you--and this may not be your intention, but it's the vibe I'm getting--is that you are not here to listen to anyone else or offer constructive feedback. It feels like you're attacking anybody and everybody who disagrees with something you say. If I remember correctly, when you joined, I reached out to you via PM and tried to be a support. I tried to protect YOUR thread from someone you felt was harassing you. Not once did I feel like my concern for your needs--whether it was useful to you or not--was acknowledged. My words and actions may be utterly useless to you, but they were given in the spirit of the community. Others may feel that they approached you initially with the same spirit. At the moment you expressed that your issue may not even be applicable to this forum--ie., that your concerns may have been better addressed in a different corner of the site--the suggestion was given that you might take them to another forum, but you continued to get involved with other members' threads. Once your interest in being here veered towards dominating threads with your arguments, and away from seeking or giving support, people took umbrage. In your arguments, you don't display an interest in other points of view. You refuse to see how you may have contributed to your own embitterment. Now you're trying to shame the lot of us and that's going to get some hackles up.

If you've been paying attention, a lot of people have expressed the feelings you've expressed; feelings of despair, of anxiety, of a need for community and support. Perhaps if you expressed your willingness to offer these things, and to acknowledge--if not accept--that which has been offered to you by others, this place would feel more like the safe haven you're looking for.

The moderator is not trying to taunt or torment you. You may disagree with his actions, but you cannot assume he acted out of self-interest or, worse, out of the intent to cause harm. These kinds of accusations are histrionic and they are just the sort of thing you don't want people directing at you. You are entitled to your beliefs; you are less entitled to hijack other people's threads by ranting about them and abusing those who engage in discussions with you. Remember how you felt when a certain member was suffocating you with their own unhelpful posts? It sucked, right?

Bottom line is, if you want understanding, try meeting others halfway. Instead of assuming that people are interacting with you with malicious intent, ASK for clarification; don't assume things of others that you would not like to be assumed of you. You are expressing anger over the fact that you've been, in your view, unjustly and unreasonably criticized; perhaps others are feeling the exact same thing from you.

Your priority is to keep yourself safe. If this is not a safe place for you, do what you need to do to protect your peace of mind by removing yourself from an environment that causes you distress. If you feel wronged, take your concerns up with those individuals privately or with the site administrator, as a moderator suggested. To do otherwise is counterproductive for you and for everyone else.

I, for one, want to see you enjoying the forum in ways that feel good to you and to others. Maybe take a step back, rethink your role here, and re-approach the forum with the intention to work for the good of the community. That might mean modeling the kind of generous, helpful attitude you'd like to have extended towards you.

On the topic of harrasment what's happened to starbright !

typical response. fall in line and agree with everyone else or else i'm bringing it on myself. you're sick.