My mother has PPD. Should this be disclosed to her?

Hi - My mother is suffering from PPD, and my father is the main victim of this. She suspects that he is cheating on her, and she feels everyone around is plotting against her. She doesn't know that she has this disorder.
Though she doesn't trust me completely, she is not as bad with me as she is with dad. She thinks that I always take his side and support him. She thinks that we always blame her, and try to find mistakes in her.
Do you think we should let her know about the PPD and get her the treatment by her choice? But she may not accept the fact. How do you think she would react when we tell her about it? Do you think she goes more against to us? Would it help/worsen the situation?

Please let us know what you think.

Hi saibaba.
I believe my mum also has had a disorder like PPD, ever since I can remember, though she has never accepted that she has a real problem. I can only give suggestions based on this experience but maybe they will help you figure out what best to do.

As a first action, perhaps you could gently suggest to your mum that she could speak to her doctor or a counsellor about her worries, especially if she has no real proof to support the paranoid ideas she has. Beware though, as this proved ineffective to my mum. Before she broke up with my dad, he suggested she go to the family doctor, but quite typically, she must have been able to put a convincing spin on her stories because by all accounts the doctor agreed with her idea that she had a marriage problem and not a mental problem.
So it may be hard for your mum to recognise and accept that she has a problem. However, it is great that your mum still seems to have some trust in you. It is hard to make sure you can maintain that while trying to encourage her to get help, but it would be helpful to always remain firmly grounded in what is real, maybe sometimes gently suggest that you are very sure that there is no truth to her paranoid ideas. It is so hard but trying to stay calm with her is always good. Always try to be bluntly up front without sarcasm or double-meaning. Be firm to her that you are and always will be concerned for happiness and well-being. Of course, your dad is your concern too and this is something you should also remain firm about, because it is your right as their daughter not to have to take sides. Your mum has already decided that you take your dad's side but by maintaining that you are concerned for both of them equally, as a neutral person, hopefully your mum will see that you are not her enemy and believe that you love her.

I must say that, although my mum has never got bad enough to have a psychiatric assessment against her will, almost every part of her life has been effected by the paranoid delusions. The situation can be hard but I am glad that I am still able to have moments of quality time with her. Her problems somehow slipped past everyone's attention when I was a small child, and were allowed to take over her. It is great that you and your dad know and recognise that your mum has a problem, and are reaching out for advice. Maybe early intervention/persuasion will help your parents' life to get back to a more stable place.

I truly hope things get easier for your family, and that your mum is able to move past her paranoia. I hope my experience is useful for you to know and hope that your mum will be able to see that she has problem.

All the very best.