Our partner

Divorce, Kids, PPD

Paranoid Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Divorce, Kids, PPD

Postby bytheway » Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:51 pm

I am in the process of a divorce. My husband had PPD, before he left he bugged our house. He's extremely jealous, distrustful,verbally abusive, etc and and he's been this way his whole life, only it's gotten much worse over the past few years as I have tried to stand up to him and prevent him from controlling and diminishing my life. Therapy made me realize I was in an abusive and controlling relationship. His brother is schizophrenic.

We have 3 children. He's attacking with the court system like crazy. He's got his corporate attorneys writing me letters and we are litigating the smallest thing in family court. His anger at me is off the charts and he is very volatile. He is making up lies in court about my behavior and making me jump through all kinds of hoops. He told me he wants to destroy me personally, financially and professionally. The court has given me more time than him with the kids (5 out of 14 days for him, but he is taking that to the judge).

I'm considering using this as an opportunity to have him psychologically tested? Is it worthwhile? Is he potentially dangerous to our children? What are the long term consequences of them having to deal with their dad and his problems? Eventually they will be "distrustful." In addition, he has serious problems with seeing other people's perspective and can be personally mean.

It has been very difficult for me, even though I have tried very, very hard to help him and demonstrate to him I was a good wife. Can PPD be diagnosed by a psychiatrist? He is very, very smart. If it is, will it matter to the court? I'm afraid personally and I don't know if I should be fighting for more custody or letting things stand. How will this affect our children without me in the middle to moderate? My anxiety goes up and down, but the recent legal battles have taken their toll and my anxiety is extremely high. Am I safe? More importantly what is my best strategy with the kids?
bytheway
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:21 pm
Local time: Sat Jun 28, 2025 10:20 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Divorce, Kids, PPD

Postby Greatexpectations » Sun Mar 11, 2012 7:03 pm

I'm considering using this as an opportunity to have him psychologically tested?

I think this would be a very good idea, a good psychiatrist specialising in PDs should be able to see through his shield and pick up on on his problems. Even if he's clever 'red flags' pointing to a PD will still be there and an expert will be able to note them.
For instance a narcissist parent will say in way of an apology "I love you, I'm so sorry *you feel* like that" in response to an accusation of abuse.
Translation= I have done nothing wrong, you just think I have, a faux apology.
Instead of;
"I love you, *I was wrong* I should never have done that I'm sorry.
Which fully accepts blame.
Subtle difference but a important one.
If you think he is a danger to the children you need to do all you can to show the courts the truth.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao Tzu
User avatar
Greatexpectations
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1203
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2011 11:28 am
Local time: Sat Jun 28, 2025 5:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Divorce, Kids, PPD

Postby cherlyn » Wed May 16, 2012 12:16 am

Yes, he has the potential to be dangerous. Almost everyone does. I assume you mean physically violent. If you read your post you can see he is already emotionally and mentaly abusive. Not a good track record. This PD is particularly volatile, especially when losing control of a previously submissive person. If you are asking on a message board, or reading on a message board and relating, then you are recognizing the potential for violence. Protect your children and yourself. Get a protective order, which could inflame him. Or get thee to a woman's shelter. Do whatever you need to to protect your children.
cherlyn
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 11:22 pm
Local time: Sat Jun 28, 2025 5:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Paranoid Personality Disorder Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests