PPD - How Do You Fix It????? HELP!

Hello there:-) I really Need Some Help:-) I really think I have PPD and can't find anything on the internet on how to fix it:-(

Recently a friend told me "you are paranoid" I actually took it as an insult at first, but then I starting thinking, perhaps they were right and joked about it. But then another friend sent me the definition in an email about PPD and after reading the definition, thought That's ME! I had just written a note in my journal prior to receiving that defination that read "I've been thinking of my whole life and seems like all I do is complain about something or someone, when have I ever been truly happy. Seems when I am alone is when I am the stongest and I feel more in control of me and my life"

I am paranoid, I hold grudges, little things hurt my feelings and I don't talk to people anymore, I came from an abusive family. My wall goes up and that is it, your done, then the biggy I always think someone has put something in my water, or if anything has been opened by someone other than me, forget it I won't even drink or eat it....anyway, more to the reason for this email:-)

How do I find help to get off this train? It is not a happy life and I want desperately to be happy:-) I've been in therapy on and off all my life and no one ever diagnoised this about me, but I think it really is me and if knowing the problem is 1/2 the solution, then I'm 1/2 way there:-)

I've done lots of research and can't find anything telling me how to fix this issue, so if anyone has any advice, suggestions, direction, etc....Please Help:-)

Best regards,

Judy