Getting over a bad breakup with PPD Boyfriend

Hi, I´m Tammy and I´m from Brazil.

After a few days reading this forum and learning about everyone´s experience, I decided to share a bit of my own.

I´ve been in a relationship for the past 7 years now. I started dating at the very young age of 17. My BF and I have had a very bumby relationship, always on and off again. During these years my family and I have always noticed how tempermental he could be and how agressive and jealous he always was. I got used to his personality and the way he was.
But in the past year, at the age of 23, he has changed so much. He´s become suspicious - thinking that I´m cheating on him (I´m not. I´d rather stay single than cheat) with almost any man that talks to me. He thinks I have a "thing" for my boss. He´s jealous of his own friends and if they look at me, he blames me for seducing them. He works on saturdays in the mornings and thinks that I call men to my house when he´s not there.
His personality has changed so much in the past years. Whenever we go out to the movies, shopping mall or restaurant, he thinks that the securitys are all looking at him and that any second...someone is going to call the police on him.
At first, I thought that all these situations were due to the fact that he smokes pot. But nobody I know has the same reactions! One day we were at home and he started to whisper e say "Sssshhhh" to everthing I was saying.....later on he told that we shouldn´t speak too loud because his father or people from his job might listen. Another day, he came almost running out of a public bathroom afraid that the mall had recorded him and that they were going to arrest him.

There are so many situations and only after reading the forum that I fully understood what was going on.

My mother´s a shrink and always told to be careful and start paying attenttion to his behavior, but I always thought that she was just being overprotective. She is afraid he´ll try to do something to me, seeing as he is an agressive person.

Anyway....he broke up with me. He wouldnt believe me and thinks that I indeed called a man to our house while he was out. Everything that I tell him, he just doesn´t believe it!!!!!!!!
He says I´m lying the whole time! I tell him he has a problem and needs medical aid and medication but he says "This is just the way I am".

I do love him very very much, but it´s unbearble to reason with someone like this. Our relationship is totally worn out because of our constant fights and arguements.

Can anyone relate and give me some light? I love my BF/Husband so much that it hurts me to think about being away. It kills me to think about never seeing him again but then again, I feel that I can´t be happy by his side. He will always suspect that I´m a terrible person and that cheating on him and that people can´t be trusted.

Please help.

Thanks,

Tammy

Hi, Tammy! You could try to focus on yourself and getting better right now. It sounds like you did the best you could for him. You tried to show him where he's wrong and that he needs help. There's not much more you could do. Do his family know about this?
You could have a bit of therapy, you've been through a lot of emotional and verbal abuse. What do you think?