Am I paranoid or in the right?

Hi all, first time on this forum. I'm tripping out on something right now, and I was hoping talking to someone else with this condition will help.

I'm 23, and I've felt very paranoid for a long while, maybe about four years or so. I'm considering anti anxietys, but I'm not sure.

My paranoia has made it hard to have a relationship, and ruined my last one. Then I met this girl, we'll call her T.

T and I dated for about 1 month, but we were pretty much together for about two. I started noticing some sketchy behavior. Knowing that I might just be tripping, I still decided to investigate. One day I noticed some texts that portrayed that she might be cheating on me, she was having some semi intimate texts from her "close friend" who is a male. Specifically, he called her biscuits (what a dumb nickname, right?) and she was saying he should come sleep in her new bed one night. So, another night, she was gonna go home. Then decided to stay, then after receiving a text, decided to go home. I went to her house later on, and saw his truck parked there. The next day was torture, because I knew what was gonna happen. And sure enough, I went there, asked how her night was, and her friend wasn't included in her explination. I went up stairs, and what's in the trash? A condom. Her and I had not had sex in her house yet. So...busted. This is why I am debating NOT taking the anti anxiety's, as I might not have figured this out otherwise.

Aaaaanyway, we started hanging out again, on and off, and we would get in many fights and not see each other for weeks. I was just in it for the sex, and because she's like my favorite person ever. But about two weeks ago we started hanging out, every day, and things became serious. Now we're together again, and everything is fine, as long as she's around. I try to respect her privacy, but I find myself constantly checking her facebook, texts, I have a key logger, sometimes I drive to where she is to snoop, and I even want her to get a smart phone so her texts can be forwarded to me. Up until recently, I haven't been right at all, she's been good.

But, now she might be going to a new job, 3 days a week, with a few guys, one of which I know wants to sleep with her. I've noticed she's a real good player, she tells people what they want to hear, and can pull a lie out from anywhere. So I was gonna go to work with her, and she said she'd text the guy (who i've met, he's cool to me, but I can tell he's a whore, and he doesn't care that im dating her, he'll still try). She didn't ask. While it's only been a day, I told her I need to know asap so I can get the time off work. Every time I bring it up, she changed the subject. Also, her friend is coming into town, and in one of her texts the guy friend mentioned he has a buddy she might be interested in. She said "oh lala"; Not a normal thing to say when your not single IMO. Also, this guy shes gonna go work for, she had texted yesterday, but did not ask if I could come. she did say she was gonna come over (but didn't) and she told him to come get food from her work...with a smiley face at the end of the text. I think she just told me what I wanted to hear, and has no intention of asking.

Last night, she said to a friend "hey, come hang out with my buddy, he'll be in town tomorrow and he wants to meet some ladies. I know where he will be staying". I was right there. This morning, I ask her what she has planned after work, and she says sleep. I respond, what about Ryan, and she said oh yeah, well he'll probably come over here. 2 lies in a row. Furthermore, after I had read those texts, I gave her a hicky. If she's not gonna let people know shes taken, I'll let them know. She got wayyyy too mad about it, she said she got in trouble at work, but it's nothing consealer couldn't hide.

Sorry for the long post, but I'm driving myself crazy and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about breaking it off, but I REALLY REALLY don't want to, we were even considering getting a place. But if she is cheating, it's not fair to me. If she isn't, my snooping isn't fair to her. Either way, I'm dying of paranoia. She's my favorite person in the world, and I don't want to break it off, but the trust just isn't there. Any advice?

PS: I don't do this kind of snooping in regular relationships; I still get paranoid, and maybe make abrupt accusations, but I've never gone through someones phone so much, or gotten a key logger, or checked anyones facebook. but the evidence has gotten me to actually staking her out on some nights. I'm not even eating often from all the stress.

The "or" in your title implies that the two are mutually exclusive. I think they are both true.

You have plenty of legitimate reasons to believe she has cheated on you. It sounds like she did, is, and will.

If you are driving to where she is when she is gone, and checking her phone, you have crossed the line. This is an invasion of her privacy. How would you like it if she spied on you? If you can't trust her enough to not do these things, then you shouldn't be with her. Why would you date someone you can't trust?