my father has ppd. how do i make him see this?

im 22 and have been living away from home for 3 years now.
my parents have been married for 37 years and they are finally going their separate ways after 4 very rocky years of being together, because of my fathers illness. as i no longer live at home i have not been around to completely oversee his deterioration.
growing up there was always a running theme that he thought my mum was having an affair, he would even come and question me and my sister about it, a time a remember it being bad is when she got a christmas card from a male colleague at work. however the good and caring side to him used to outweigh the negatives. whenever we are all at home together (birthdays, christmas etc, seemingly happy occasions) he accuses my sister and i of trying to purposefully create conflict between them, and accuses my mum of trying to 'destroy' his relationship with his daughters.
he can be very loving and caring, and i can honestly say i had a wonderful childhood, i remember him as being overly generous, kind and very funny.

my parents have a house abroad, so in june i decided to join them for a couple of weeks, and during the last few days, my boyfriend joined us. this is the time i have seen him the worst. he is a runner and takes training very seriously. he has a timer watch which he uses and depends on. and one night, completely out of blue asked why i had been fiddling with it and 'tampering' with it. i honestly had not seen it for my entire stay over there. this caused a little conflict as he then accused me of lying when i objected. this then got worse as he later said he had realised why i had come over there in the first place (nope apparently not to have abit of sun, and spend time with my parents) but he was adamant i had come over to ruin his time off and holiday. there were various other scenarios, including accusing me of taking euros out of his bedside table. my mum would always try to make him see sense, but in his mind we were just "in it together" (in his words) "to see how far we could push him"
when my boyfriend arrived he completely changed to being excessively friendly to the point of being creepy. whenever they had a moment alone with my boyfriend he would constantly ask him to please look after me and please make sure i was safe. now they are back in the uk my sister is in between terms at uni so is living at home and has been emailing me saying that he is accusing her of hiding the remote controls to all the tvs in the house. and throwing away plug in air fresheners which he likes to buy (which we used to have a joke how much we disliked them.) but she would never throw them away we would always put up with them.
my mum is now at the stage where she has had enough. none of us have talked to my father about his condition but he has completely pushed her away, i discussed it over the phone with her last night and she says its something she has thought about, as his mother committed suicide when he was 8 and so was raised in an awful foster family until he was 16. (so environment and genetics both play a factor) but my mum has been so hurt by him she is "cutting her losses" as she knows he would never get help. my father is being as awkward as possible dividing things and money and is making it almost impossible for her to pursue a separate life. which leads me to believe he doesnt want this to happen. usually when things get bad he dramatically improves and she takes him back. this has been ongoing for the past 4/5 years (at a serious level).

sorry for it being so long winded. i really need some advice from people who have been through something simular or from people who know what to do.
i am planning to go home this weekend and talk to my father. if the relationship with my mother is irreconcilable then so be it. but i really want to have a normal, loving relationship with both of them equally and separately, and it is just not possible until he seeks help. we are on good terms at the moment but i can see how he can quickly turn if he thinks i am calling him "crazy" and he will maybe think i am taking my mums side which will only make things worse.
i was thinking about calling a professional or a doctor but have no idea where to even begin. im hoping he will see that i am coming from a loving place and not a negative one.
i need to make him see he is paranoid. i really need some advice.
thanks in advance for any.

Hi, lora04! Talk to your own doctor and ask them where you can find someone who can help your dad. If he has PPD, it will be very hard to convince him to get help, from what people here have said. But, you could still be there for him and your mom, you could keep them company even if they separate and maybe things won't always be bad with your dad. If you'll have some advice from a doctor, maybe you'll find out more stuff and maybe he'll even be willing to see a doctor himself.

Hi Lora04. Your post sounded so similar to my life. I believe that my father has PPD also. For as long as I can remember he has been paranoid to some degree. In recent years he has gotten worse and now thinks members of his immediate family are out to get him. My sister and I have tried to have interventions in order to get him help, but he does not think there is anything wrong with his behavior. In fact, after our attempts to get him to see a professional he's more convinced than ever that we are conspiring against him. My mother has always tried to pretend that nothing is wrong. I think she doesn't want to cause more drama than already exists. For him, it's more ammunition to accuse his daughters of wrongdoings.

My sister and I are both adults, living on our own. It has gotten so bad that our trips and phone calls home have become less and less frequent. It is so emotionally and mentally draining to listen to him accuse everyone from the mail man to the convenience store clerk of causing him some injustice. We've discussed it and are both pretty much to the point where we feel like we have to cut him off in order to maintain our own sanity. We've tried and tried to get our father help and he just doesn't realize there is anything wrong with him, it's the rest of the world with problems. It is such a hard thing to even think about, as I do have good memories of my father. I just don't know how much longer I can maintain any sort of relationship with him. He has five siblings and they have all pretty much gotten to the same point we have. They have little to no contact with him because they have all been accused of conspiring to get him.

It's a gutwrenching decision that I am faced with, but I just don't think that I will ever convince him to get any help. I don't know what else to do. Although my sister and I love him and only have the best intentions in mind, he just can't see it. I feel like he's toxic and will eventually destroy everyone around him. How do you get help for someone who will never trust a doctor? How do you make someone see that their thinking is so skewed?

I now realize that there are other people going through the same thing and that does provide a certain comfort. It's just such a hard situation to deal with. Thanks for sharing your story.

Lora04 - This is exactly what I see in my mom.
When you talk to him - don't try to argue and bring some facts before him to prove him wrong. It doesn't help at all. It rather spoils the trust between you. Be very very patient with him, and listen to him, and make a situation comfortable for him to speak his feelings. Keep listening to him, agree to him and don't be judgemental. This builds trust between you. When he accuses you, take it calmly and deny it once, but don't drag it.

You should definelty see a doctor and explain your dad's behavious. And the doctor could prescribe some medication. And you should be able to mix the medicine in food. The physiotherapy might not work all the time. With my experience, medication works well for PPD, but it is a challenge to give them the medicine, as the patient is too cautioned about their food as well.

saibab...what medication is prescribed for ppd?btw... my husband is so paranoid about his food that he bought a fridge with a lock on it to store his own food.