Help! Does my mother have PPD?

I'm wondering if anyone can tell me if people with PPD act like my mother?
My mother isn't paranoid about someone killing her or taking medication or anything like that (that I know of anyway) but the biggest problem everyone around her has is that she has these expectations of compliance. Everyone is supposed to do what she wants when she wants them to and if they don't she will give the silent treatment until forever.
She keeps a tally of what people do for her, like phonecalls or calling her by name and if she thinks they haven't phoned enough etc she won't talk to them and bitches about "this person" to anyone who will agree with her.
She suffers terribly from anxiety.
She is constantly on the lookout for anything that she can take as malicious and therefore being around her is just about unbearable due to the tension she causes.
Does this sound familiar to anyone and how can I confront her about getting therapy for her disorder?

Hey,

It does sound familiar, and what it sounds like is OCPD, not PPD. OCPD is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Basically, she sounds like how I behave at home, and I identify with OCPD. PPD can be a part of many different illnesses. So, while she is still paranoid, that's not the only problem that she has.

Kevin

Hi Kevin, thanks for your reply.
So do expect everyone around you to behave exactly how you think they should, and if they don't do you get very distressed and angry about it? And do you think this kind of behaviour is OCD related?
I did think she had OCD initially, but after researching PPD, I think her symptoms match this disorder much more. It's the constant watching for anything to judge and criticise which is so hard to deal with. It's like she can never be pleased no matter what we do. She's exhausting and makes me not want to be around her

Hi again,

Yes, I get upset if thingspeople happen/behave in a way that is unexpected to me; and this is because I like to have order and consistency. This is related to my OCD (which is in turn related to my Asperger's Syndrome). PPD may suit her as a diagnosis, but I don't think that it's a particularly helpful diagnosis, because I still believe that the problem is fundamentally OCD-related. It's hard to explain what I mean... ...

One question though: Does she recognise herself that she has a problem? If she does, then she must be urged to go to even her local doctor about this. Her local doctor can then refer her to a psychologist/psychiatrist.

Kevin

Hi again Kevin and thanks again for your reply.

After reading your last post I do agree with you that she does most likely have OCD.

One more question though, do you keep track of what people do for you. For example, say someone asks you for a favour to look after their dog for a few weeks and you say yes. Then on pick up of the dog, this person doesn't contact you again for a month. Would you get really upset with this person because you think that because you have done them a favour that they are indebted to you and should call earlier than they did. (I hope this makes sense )

Also, are you really tight with money? My mother is terribly so.

Hi,

If I was presented with that situation of looking after the dog, I wouldn't be upset at all. I would only expect them to thank me or whatever once they picked up the dog. After that, I wouldn't necessarily expect them to talk to me again either. This probably isn't the response you were expecting, right? This has more to do with my Asperger's Syndrome though, and not my OCD.

I amen't tight with money at all... ...I am actually very good with it and regard myself as a miser (a person who doesn't spend!).

You never answered my question about whether or not she actually believes herself that she has a problem. It would be an excellent starting point for a recovery if she could recognise that she has a problem.

Take care,
Kevin

Hello again Kevin

Actually your answer to my question did not surprise me at all. The above mentioned hypothetical situation is how my mother reacts all the time. You're obviously a much more caring and thoughtful person who is not at all like my matriarch. I'm assuming you don't have PPD?

I've looked at all the disorders and syndromes and PPD is the one that is most closely aligned with her behaviours that I find most distressing, such as the over sensitivity, grudge holding, looking for what she perceives as malicious behaviour directed at her. But again I do believe that she certainly has comorbid OCD tendancies along with avoidant personality issues.

In answer to your previous question about whether she knows she has a problem, it's a hard one to answer and a bit of a long story. As she is ultra sensitive to any perceived criticism, we all know that's somewhere which is probably best not to go. However, about 12 months ago she did see a new young doctor in relation to an anxiety lump she had in her throat thinking he would prescribe her some valium and she could just leave. But he started asking her some hard questions about her family life etc and ended up telling her she needed to go to a psychiatrist but she refused. She did start taking the anti-depressants that he prescribed and they made a miraculous difference. She was relaxed and normal for the first time ever!

She has regressed quite quickly though and is just about back where she started eventhough she's still taking the meds. She needs therapy to sort out her issues, but how to bring that up I don't know.

When she was more receptive to talking (when first on the meds) I did mention a couple of times about how angry she can get about very trivial things and she did agree, but she thinks getting therapy means she is crazy, you know that old stigma. So she won't do it. I don't think she can see the benefit of it and also I think she is paranoid about spilling her "dirty laundry" to a stranger. Just not done in her generation I think.

Thanks again for your feedback, I'm enjoying reading your posts.

Hi again,

I do actually have paranoid thoughts everyday, but I know that they are irrational. I can therefore just dismiss them. My therapist helped me with this, plus actually expressing my paranoid thoughts when they come helps too. For example, I frequently think that my parents hate me or are talking about me. So, I just ask them if they indeed are talking about me and they - of course - say no.

I'm glad that she's taking an anti-depressant (I do too), because they can be a great help. I'm just thinking now, however, that perhaps she is going too 'fast' in her life, and therefore has no time to think logically/rationally - know what I mean? Is she always running around getting things done?

Kevin