Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

We have been together for 11+ years. 1 Child, countless breakups, engaged once, lived with eachother 4 or 5 times. I love him and always will to the depth of my soul. I think about our child and I only discovered this forum today. All the signs of PPD fit him exactly, he doesn't have other paranoia like others spying on him or people out to get him. But me, he thinks I have all these lies and games in the past, present, and thinks our future is inevitable with deceit. He has now after all these years taken the step to counseling, just today after all this time. He has scared me in moments of episodes which is why we aren't a "family" under 1 roof yet. Is there hope? Will this go away? I put the best foot forward and refuse to talk about anything in the past from now on, ever.. Is there spiritual enlightenment with this disorder, do they find inner peace and trust again, it stems from his horrible childhood which he will not pass on cause he is an amazing father. Will he heal? Will we heal? Or is this the future I face?

Hi,

People with paranoid thoughts CAN be healed - most definately. However, in this instance, I think that you should be more focussing on what the reasons were in the past for each of your break-ups. I mean, was the paranoia to blame each and every time? If it was, then I am unsure about the prospects of your relationship, despite the fact that he is getting counselling.

You see, sometimes, a person can be healed of something but, if they are exposed to the same environments as before, they will continue to exhibit their problem. However, once they are surrounded by a new environment, their problem lifts. So, whilst he may be 'healed', if all he has is to return to his own home and life in the same way as it was before, then he may not appear to be healed at all.

I just want you to be aware of that but, ultimately, I think it is worth giving him another try.

Kevin

It does sound like we have some things in common but my answer is kind of biased. I'm hopeful in the fact that someone with PPD can be completely healed but I haven't seen many reports of that happening. But maybe I'm reading the wrong reports. who knows...

Your partner is at least going in the right direction by seeking professional help and acknowledging that he has a problem and is working to correct it. My husband, on the other hand, does not recognize that he has a problem. Everything is still my fault and everyone else is to blame for his problems but him.

I think alot of his behavior comes from his childhood and from the way his parents treated him as a child. And how is father treated his mother. I've noticed a strong similarity in the way his father treats his mother...and it's not pretty.

My advice, and this is just my opinion...and I'm clearly not a professional...is to stay with him as long as you can and support him as long as you can...but as soon as the situation turns violent or you fear your life or your child's life is in danger...GET AWAY. Remove yourself from the situation until he's "healed" or you're more comfortable to return...And don't get married until you're absolutely ready...because that's another battle you don't want to have to deal with if you find that you NEED to leave.
like I said...just my opinion... Take care of yourself first...because YOUR Child will need you to keep the sanity.

Hi. I have been reading posts mostly on the Delusional Disorder forum and recently this one too. I am not sure if my husband is suffering from PPD or if he is DDJ. I just know that he is paranoid and it is all focused on me. Same story as many on the Delusional Disorder forum and here such as B2426 and lovingchris1109.

I have not posted my story because it is so similar, almost word for word, as many already posted. The above was posted by the moderator

[quote]You see, sometimes, a person can be healed of something but, if they are exposed to the same environments as before, they will continue to exhibit their problem. However, once they are surrounded by a new environment, their problem lifts. So, whilst he may be 'healed', if all he has is to return to his own home and life in the same way as it was before, then he may not appear to be healed at all.
[/quote]

I would like further clarification on this remark. You see my husband and I have been living seperately since 12/07. We have been still working on the marrige since that time, but each week there is a blow up from his constant accusations/interrogations (he has accused me of everything and calls me terrible names). He threatens divorce constantly and we are on the outs most every week just to try again. It is a vicious cycle. There are times where he knows that something is wrong with him, but the insight quickly passes. I have tried to be patient although i feel I am losing my mind as well.

Anyway, I have finally made a stand and told him I will no longer tolerate his accusations and name calling and as long as he thought this way we have nothing to work on. I am not speaking to him at this point. My question is since the paranoia is focused on me and we end up in familiar surroundings, then he may not get better or it could just return. But if we seperate and his is with someone else, some where else then he could be fine or heal?

How unfair!!

hi. i posted a while ago and have been anxiously waiting for a reply. Chucky, could you please read my above post and offer feedback?? Situation is still the same. Thank you!!

There has never been any sound biochemical difference in people with ppd or normal people's brains found yet.. I think its just like an emotion or reaction to a certain situation that only incurs in some people and other people probably don't have it. Its like someone having a different to of emotion, you just gotta find whats causing that emotion and figure out how to undo it like cheering someone up when there sad or let it recover over time. So don't worry it is probably very possible to recover from it with the proper help.

unsure_anymore wrote:hi. i posted a while ago and have been anxiously waiting for a reply. Chucky, could you please read my above post and offer feedback?? Situation is still the same. Thank you!!

Hi,

I'm terribly sorry for only noticing your responses here now. I have just read your longer post and - yes - if his environment changes, then so can his PPD (i.e. - it can fade-away). However, even if the enviroment changes, he will eventually probably become PPD again when his new environment becomes familiar to him.

I hope this makes sense.

Kevin

Hi lovingchris1109,
I think you along with many other victims of abusive relationships are suffering from something called Stockholm Syndrome. The following link will take you to a great article which should give you a lot of insight into why you are putting up with being treated so badly.
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/ar ... ?artID=469
I hope for your sake that chris is serious about his counselling sessions, but you need to follow your gut instincts and if he is showing little or no improvement even after the first session, I would advise you to walk away and take your life and power back!
Don't wait another 11 years to see if he is ready to treat you with dignity and respect. It's time to treat yourself and your child with dignity and respect and leave this hostile environment.