So... Who Here Trusts Themselves?

I don't.

It began with me not being able to trust anyone, but I've recently gotten to the point where I realize that I can not trust myself or my feelings either.

Anyone else feel this way? That you're so paranoid, you can't even trust yourself?

I don't even know if this is a good idea to be posting. To make it clear, I'm not posting out of desperation, frustration, pain or anything along those lines. I'm just interested to know if anyone else feels this way.

So no need to give me the whole "I support you" talk. That's not what I came here for. I just want a little relation from someone. And I honestly don't mean this in a rude way, but I feel that I would just consider any reply like the aforementioned one to be irrelevant.

So I mean that all in the most sincere way possible.

Anyways, back on topic... Who else feels this way?
(Heh, I've repeated this question twice now... So ignore this repetition if you feel the need.)

Hi,

To be honest, I don't care if you view this post as irrelevant - I am going to write it anyway because I know that you secretly want someone to reply, to prove yourself right in some strange indirect way, I guess.

Anyway, I don't understand what you mean by not trusting yourself. I certainly don't trust other people too much. Well, allow me to rephrase: I trust everyone at first but soon realise that I'm too trusting and then end-up going through spells of intense paranoia. However, trust of own self was - and is - never in doubt.

Take care,
Kevin.

Sometimes, when things arent so clear, Ill have to be alone to think things through. I try and try to snap out of being paranoid, and keep telling myself im just being paranoid, but then again I dont know when Im just being paranoid, or when someone really is trying to take advantage of me. So I cant really trust my judgement either..
And when you say you cant trust your feelings, do you mean like your so used to putting on a face to hide your paranoia, that you dont know if your smiles are real anymore?

FriedPiper wrote:And when you say you cant trust your feelings, do you mean like your so used to putting on a face to hide your paranoia, that you dont know if your smiles are real anymore?

Yes, that's somewhat accurate.

I don't seem to be able to trust my judgment, or my feelings. It's odd.

My judgment, I don't believe can be trusted, because I'm so used to it constantly changing and I never know if, when making a decision, the option I choose is truly mine, or if it's just an illusion in itself.

My feelings, mainly for some of the same reasons. I don't trust my own thoughts enough to warrant the trust of my feelings/emotions.

I'm also almost constantly going through somewhat of a dissociative state, so when I feel like parts of my mind are blocked off, I don't know if I should trust my current feelings, simply because I don't know if I'm being blocked off from other - possibly opposite or ambivalent - feelings subconsciously.

And Chucky, no, I don't view your post as irrelevant. I was mainly trying to get across that I'm looking to see if anyone feels the same way, and not looking directly for "support" as it is. More of a relative discussion than that of a "you'll get through this" discussion. The latter tend to be very one-sided, and there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding in the way they present themselves.

I was rather looking to see if I can have a discussion with someone who does feel the same way, rather than someone who doesn't.

In any case, do you understand now what I mean by not trusting myself?

Hi,

Yeh, I do actually understand what you mean by not trusting yourself now. I can relate to it too and I guess that I still don't trust my judgement in, well, almost everything. However, I have been trying hard in the past few weeks to be more assertive in my decision-making and not to fear that the option I have chosen is the wrong one.

... ...at least I think that's what you are generally referring to. I don't quite get what you mean by your chosen options being "illusions" - want to expand on that?

Take care,
Kevin

Yes. I, too, have tried maintain a more assertive approach to this thinking, though I can't say it has done me much help. Though it may help for you, as we are different people.

Chucky wrote:I don't quite get what you mean by your chosen options being "illusions" - want to expand on that?

Basically, I mean I do not know if they are my true feelings or just fabricated ones, created most likely by my subconscious for reasons beyond my understanding.

Air Captain wrote:Basically, I mean I do not know if they are my true feelings or just fabricated ones, created most likely by my subconscious for reasons beyond my understanding.

That's intuition that you are referring to (i.e. your subconsciousness). Some people say that you should always make decisions based on intuition. There is nothing illusory about it. When you make a decision, your subconscience will always choose an option. It is up to you to then analyse it and predict the potential outcome. Don't be worried by it though - Our intuition is born from all of our experienes in life.

Kevin.