Thought I'd Drop By

Don't know if any of the people I use to talk to are around. I see DD is but I think under another name.

I'm still PPD but it's mostly under control now. The avoidant side of me is better but still hold me back. Oh by no means am I saying I'm not paranoid, I am but I'm a lot better.

My therapist cut me loose, of course I thought that mean she didn't like me. LOL And well, I'm still not sure. See?

But since I got rid of my wife, I am clearly much better. Life is falling apart, my home is going into foreclosure. I can't sell it because I can't find my wife.

I filed for divorce, can't serve her so we will be publishing next month and then I can get my divorce anyway. Maybe I can get the house award to me and sell it then. I'm not sure.

I'm planning on spending a lot of time in the Phillipines.

I'm selling on eBay, though not doing that well. I need real wholesale suppliers. I have a few but I need more. Trying a line of good this week that I hope does well.

So far the only thing that does well is my stuff that I"m selling. it is either sell it or loose it.

Getting the stressors out of my life, my job and my wife. My wife wow, I can't believe how much more at peace I am now. I'm almost completely off effexor.

There is hope out there but there is no cure. I know people that think they are cured of a personality disorder. There is no such thing. But you can control it. At least to some extent.

The number one step to improvement is first realizing there is a problem. If you are aware that you are paranoid without someone showing you, then it's probably not PPD. PPD is much more subtle.

I see someone deleted my post about personality disordered people attract each other. That's a shame because it is very true. It's not so much that we attract other PDs it's that someone with a lot of needs is more likely to be able to put up with the demands of of a PPD. They may even find them attractive as the dependant personality disorder needs to be taken care of and the PPD needs to control.

If your paranoia includes thoughts that someone is controlling your and your environment, that's not likely to be PPD. Whatever it is called, you're right to seek help. Good for you!

What it is and the treatment is is up to the MD's and mental health professionals.

Thought PPD has done me the most damage it is not my primary issue. AvPD is. It doesn't tend to cause the kind of trauma to myself and others that PPD has, it just keeps me from doing the things I need to do well.

I think about the place often.

TheLonelyStranger,
Hi, fellow member. Wow, its been almost a year since your second to last post. People do tend to move on, and new people (like myself) come on the scene. I've read many of your posts, and been intrigued by your erudite candor.
I'm glad for you that your life is much less fraught with paranoia, even though the hassle with the house can't be easy. Ending a toxic relationship can be a life saver for sure.
The Phillipines is cool; my brother-in-law lives on the island of Luzon near Subic Bay. He really likes it there; the people are friendly and the cost of living is low.

TheLonelyStranger wrote:I see someone deleted my post about personality disordered people attract each other. That's a shame because it is very true. It's not so much that we attract other PDs it's that someone with a lot of needs is more likely to be able to put up with the demands of of a PPD. They may even find them attractive as the dependant personality disorder needs to be taken care of and the PPD needs to control.

How true!
I took a look at your Paltalk website. Got a big laugh out of "Missy" turning out to be a 300 pound gorilla...yes, if one is paranoid being able to see who you are chatting with would definitely be useful!
Hope to see you around. I hang out mostly in the schizoid forum but occasionally prowl in the other forums.

Hey!

Looks like I need to get my email address updated as I'm not getting any messages. Hmmm, I don't have notify me when reply is posted enabled.

I came by a week or so ago, the forums were down. Thought perhaps things had gone belly up. Gladh they have not.

My candor, it gets me into trouble. People DO NOT want honesty and I'm afraid I excel at honesty. There's a boundary I don't see and I'm often misunderstood because of it. That's probably still my biggest source or pain actually. But I don't want to change that. I wish I could see the boundary but I don't want to become someone that hides from the ugly truth of myself and we ALL have this ugly truth about us. We all have our dark side.

It is also a symptom of PPD. I don't think it is part of the classification but I've read many times that PPD's often inappropriately reveal things about themselves. That still makes me sad. As I know that my honesty turns people off. They initially like it and causes them to open up, but give me enough time and my candor will drive away everyone.

The house, I'm amazed at just how little it matters to me. So are people around me. What good is going to do for me to get all bent out of shape. Nothing. All the worry in the world will fix nothing.

Instead, me, Mr doom and gloom has decided to seek and follow the silver lining. I can just turn it into a major adventure in my life and go any place I like.

My biggest fear is I'll die before I get to do it.

I use to be here a lot because I had nothing to do. But I'm busy trying to make money on the web. I seem to be a little scattered though and not focusing enough on one thing and get too many going. Or you could say that I'm testing the waters in several areas hoping something will take hold. Maybe both are true.

I am worried bout my soon to be X, so I guess I still care. She's going through some bad times I think. Small signs and well, call me psyco.... forgot the word...... one of the personality disorders with magical thinking thrown in. Aww, no i wont say it. LOL I'll just say I do sense the feelings of others. I could back it up with facts but I don't have time.

Maybe next time.