School

At age 25, Im starting school again next week. I really dont wanna go at all. Im scared

Birds flying over my head will poop on me.

I might trip and scrape my knee.

I might get hit by a car while crossing the street.

A burglar might enter the house.

I might get dandruff and it will visible on my scalp.

The worst part is this is just the beginning. I still have the anxiety related fears to worry about.

I finished school. It was very painful. I developed a crush on a guy classmate. I tried to change. But at the end of the day I don't see any difference of myself. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or content. I mean did I really thought I could change myself? I've never interact with the same people for hours everyday before. The amount of jealousy I felt was intense. I didn't like him talking to other girls. I hated everyone in that class. People keep asking me for help with their work. But nobody gives a $#%^ about me. 4 months. And not a single person ever asked me if I'm ok in that $#%^ class. I always knew this world is uncaring. People keep accusing me of not showing empathy and thinking I'm the bad person. I should have kept my mouth shut like I always do. I should have never tried to change myself. I kept talking to people the first month. I got to know one $#%^ girl. She betrayed me by talking to my crush in class. They end up fairly close from what I saw. They probably friends now. People are so $#%^ and stupid. School ended a week ago and yesterday she text me asking how I am. I don't talk to idiots. This isn't over. I will have my revenge. I walked away with 0 friends and I did talk to people and I tried to act nice. That guy and I will never talk to again. I did everything I could to be friends. I will destroy him and the #######5 piece of $#%^ pile of stinking garbage son of a bitch girl. In the back of my mind, maybe we are acquaintances. The more I thinking about that crap the more I think he's gonna block my number anytime. Is not like I'll ever see him again anyway. I'm still unemployed and have no desire to search for a job. I searched for the holy grail but did not find it.