Is this paranoia or am i a victim of gaslighting?

So, an issue between myself and my girlfriend is that I think that a relative of mine is gaslighting me. My girlfriend can't understand this, because she doesn't realize how a narcissist just won't forgive, and to the contrary will frequently conduct these covertly vengeful kinds of activities.

In my own case, i made a relative angry because I said some rude things during an argument that she started with me, and that wasn't very nice at all on my part. However, since then, i think that my dads wife has hired a private investigator kind of firm to track me and check up on what i'm doing. Once in a while when i go out on the town i see the same people where I'm at, and they usually seem to be eyeballing me, as if that's their primary purpose for being there, rather than conducting their own business.

I'm usually pretty trusting of her, have never suspiciously asked her who she was with or that kind of thing, but it really irks me that she says that I'm being paranoid, bc she is basically the best support that I have. I mean i've been coming to her for that, but she usually doesn't say a whole lot, partially because she has anxiety issues and partially because she thinks that i'm being paranoid. But it does kind of get to me. The other side of the whole thing isn't just the gaslighting, but my father as well. He's a medical doctor, a really smart guy. And he is also pretty manipulative, and has some characteristics of an aspd kind of guy- for example he has the sociopathic "stare", has little or no affect or displayed empathy, reallly high amount of cognitive empathy. He has been very giving towards me, but there is a price for that, the manipulative behavior where I think he serves the narcissist injury needs of his wife so that they can get me to have a worse life. I can give countless examples of the things that he's wanted me to do if y'all are curious but i'll leave it at that.

So, in summary, am i the victim or gaslighting froma narc/aspd couple or am i just one paranoid nutcase? Pleas give me your thoughts. I'd really like to hear about the things that you all see paranoid people doing over and over, to see if i have anything like that, thanks.

Sorry to say but I think you are being paranoid. People are most likely not "following" you around town and you seeing the same people may be a product of your own imagination or you may just be running into people who live close by and do the same activities in the general area.

I have to agree with the previous poster. The idea of people following you is quite paranoid.

If people are staring at you its probably because you are acting strange or staring at them.

The people you keep seeing in town might think that you are following them.