My first post about my marriage and my husband

I'm not even sure if this is the correct spot to post. Right now I'll give anything a try to try and help me gain insight to what is happening. A little background. Married 10y, he's 36, I'm 37. He was an alcoholic when we met. He stopped drinking and dedicated his life to sobriety and our family. Boy, does that seem like a lifetime ago, and a whole different man. He's been off the wagon for almost 2 years now. It's been hell. When he drinks he gets mean, paranoid, and delusional. This along with his adderall addiction has made life in a whole HELL. We have 4 kids one who's out of the house and in college. The 3 that are home are 13, 8, and 5. I'll be honest. I had an affair. We split up we filed for dovorce but then reconciled and recommitted to one another and 10 months later my youngest was born. Best days of our lives. But then it crashed. I realized I didn't know the man I was waking up to. Constant accusations of cheating, locking me out of the garage, constantly stealing my phone and reading my texts/emails/chats with everyone including my parents. He does this nightly. I've now found that I've isolated myself from all my friends and all my family because of his constant hatred of them, because of him constantly thinking they're out to get him. Now it's grown to the point I have black and blue lips as he punched me in the face 2 nights ago while drunk. He had taken yet another laptop and refuses to return it. Everything's his, our home, our vehicles, I'm not allowed in our garage, I'm not allowed to have friends, and the lies are uncontrollable! Last night he came home and somehow screwed the garage doors shut, he takes the router to wifi so we can't get online or watch Netflix, he takes my phone so I can't call the police or even my mom. I'm constantly scared. And all this is happening with my children watching. Over the years he's put all the bills into just his name, the bank accounts are in just his name. For 3 days now he's left me with no money, no vehicle, and no internet. He's lost control of himself, he's lost control of it all! I feel hopeless! I h e no money and no where to turn.

You're not in a hopeless situation- do not let an abusive spouse keep you cowed down. Use a neighbor's phone. Call the law if he hits you, press charges. Go to a shelter. There are things you can do, you do not have to endure abuse.