A borderline with a Paranoid Husband

I am married to a man for almost 2 years now. We have a beautiful baby that is 6 months old. I am at a lost of if I should divorce or try to stay. I am a mild Borderline. I have separation anxiety. My husband has PPD. He has never been able to trust me even accuses me of tricking him into having a baby. I see him struggle almost every weekend with bad depression. He can not get out of bed. When he does get out of bed he complains the house is messy, I need to pay bills and I have messed up his relationship with his adult daughter. He gets in my face and yells. At times he has told me he is going to kill me. That he wants me dead. It was becoming often so I went to the police station and asked the police if I was in danger. They took a small report, as I was not trying to get him into trouble. I told him about this and he blew up at me. Said I was conspiring to have him lose his job. Everything I do he blames me for trying to have him lose his job. At his work functions I can not say anything and then they claim I am weird for not talking. I tried once. I was asked what I did for a living, I said model. He blew up at me saying that models are dumb to not ever say that. Well then what do I say? Unemployed? But my facebook has me with new stuff all the time. Whatever.
Now I am being attacked almost daily. I begged my mom to come over and help me with the baby as I am struggling with vomiting and crying. She came over but my husband accused her of planting $#%^ about him in my head and yelled at her to leave. He yells at me I am not allowed to see her again. He has already told all my friends are not allowed in my house. My few friends left are scared of my husband and tell me to divorce, they also stopped inviting me to things.
I feel awful taking a baby away from her dad. Sometimes I think it will get better. Like lastnight he came home with flowers. But then in the middle of the night he woke me up to tell me I messed up his relationship with his adult daughter. And all day today he is super cold and distant. I am also staying out of his way afraid he will snap at me. I want to divorce him because I am sick of our baby seeing me crying and him yelling at me almost daily.
Sometimes I try to convince myself that it can work. Like his disorder makes him think I am cheating. So he will come home unannounced at random times of the day to “catch” me in the act. My disorder makes me clingy so I get happy he is home even if it is for less than 20 minutes. He gets so mad if I do not text back right away and is constantly checking up with that. I am very good at replying super fast. My disorder has preserved abandonment issues and when I get a text I am so relieved he is alive and still with me. And true to my disorder, everytime I try to leave because it is super abusive the way he yells and looks as if he will hit me, I come back begging. It makes no sense to me. A normal girl would have left. He has zero friends not even family members like him. I am so far the longest a girl has ever lived with him and he is almost 40. How can I make this work? Or how can I leave? I have signed up for therapy and group therapy. I really don’t want to divorce because he is very handsome, and I love him so much. I am so torn.

Hello.

It seems that both of you need help. I hope you get to therapy as soon as possible so you can lay things out and take a proper decision.

He seems to need help as badly as you do, if not more. I'm guessing he's not getting any assistance for his problem? It seems like he might not even be aware of his paranoia and the damage it causes to others. I can just imagine how devastating it can be to be stuck with such a horrible vicious cycle of distrust.

You'll need an opinion from a professional in the real world. No one here can really give you a proper answer because we aren't there to know both sides and all the details. Of course, you need to be sure that you are safe and that your child is safe as well. If you think you're in danger, you should take the proper steps to safeguard the both of you.

Except that, I believe therapy and getting the opinion of a professional will give you the proper insight to take a proper decision, something that I can't do here because it's the internet.

Still, get that help as soon as possible and I hope you'll take care of yourself and the child in the meantime. Good luck.

I hope that you will get help because you have a child who is depending on you. You need help with your borderline issues so that you can advocate for your child. Your child doesn't need to grow up in this environment. Please read all of the posts from children who have PPD parents. Their heartache and struggle is real. Your husband sees you as the problem so he may not be interested in getting help and may even discourage you from getting help.

Please do not cut off your family and keep your support system in tact. Your husband may get angry and accusatory. So what? Keep good people in your life.