Do I have paranoid personality disorder?

Hi guys. I think I might have paranoid personality disorder. If you're familiar with the disorder, please read through this message and let me know if you've had similar experiences or if these experiences are indicative of PPD.
My ex-friend and ex-boyfriend are also friends. All throughout my relationship with my ex-boyfriend I assumed that the two of them would talk negatively about me behind my back.

I recently reconnected with this particular ex on a friendly basis and we saw a movie. During our time together he told me that his mom had been recently diagnosed with cancer. While he and I were dating, his mom and I were very close and I truly love her so I called her and left a voicemail saying that I'm praying for her and that I love her. I haven't heard back from her so I assume that she thinks it's probably inappropriate for me to call her since me and her son are no longer dating and that I'm weird for saying I love her. I also assume that she told her two daughters and that they agree with her assumption that I'm weird, and that the three of them told my ex-boyfriend that I'm weird and to not talk to me. I tried to reconnect with the ex-friend I mentioned earlier through text and she seemed happy to hear from me. But she didn't respond after a text I sent asking if she found another job so I think she thinks I'm weird for asking that question and that she told my ex-boyfriend all about it and that she's influence my ex not to talk to me.

And this is what caused me to come to this forum:

I texted my ex today asking if he wanted to see a movie next week. It's been 6 hours and he hasn't responded to me and I think this proves my assumption that his mom, my ex-friend, and his sisters told them that I'm weird and to not talk to me again, and it makes me very sad.

Does this way of thinking indicate that I have paranoid personality disorder???

I should also add that I come up with similar assumptions and conclusions about various situations often. For example, I told my most recent ex some personal things about me so now I think that he told his friends these things and they told him not to talk to me either.

This way of thinking affects me apart from relationships too:
I used to be a theater major and I wasn't a perfect student. Because of this I think all my theater professors hate me and as a result I avoid the theater building at my school even though I would like to speak to one of my old professors and catch up with them.

I also used to be employed at another school and because of fears that my old employers might have heard some rumors about me, I refuse to go back to the school to visit and become anxious whenever someone mentions the school.

I also frequently feel like people are judging me, and sometimes I think that people are trying to make fun of me on the sly while I'm having conversations with them.

Does anyone else go through anything similar?

I can relate very well to almost everything you described. My workplace is very large and I think this helps fuel the paranoia. I’m surrounded by so many people, all of whom seem to know each other – so every time someone seems less than friendly in dealing with me, I’ll conclude they either heard a rumor about me (usually something specific that I have an idea of), or that I raised this person’s ire by screwing up in some way. Neither possibility is entirely unrealistic, as people in my department are blamed for a lot of things, and every place I work (including this one) there’s at least one manipulative person who doesn’t like me.

Based on your message I think that like me, you suffer from an unfortunate combination of hypersensitivity to judgement and over-awareness of the social sphere. My feeling is that the group (anything more than one person by themselves) is very powerful and the real you can get lost so easily in its noise, especially if you’re not a vocal person. I once saw this message in my horoscope: “Even silence can be misquoted.” :/

All of your worries seem to revolve around what people think of you. My understanding is that a truly paranoid personality is more focused on people trying to harm or exploit them. Of course there’s some overlap since the belief that others are spreading rumors etc assumes hostile intent. But you don’t mention people trying to sabotage you at work or school. Or an interest in conspiracy theories, or really anything beyond an overconcern with how people see you. It’s also a matter of degree – you seem to have some awareness that your fears might not always be realistic. The one thing that does sound a little extreme is your assumption that your friend and ex spoke negatively about you behind your back, even when you were still with both of them (unless they were the types of people to do that to everyone?). But in my non-professional opinion, it sounds like you suffer from a kind of social paranoia, not PPD.

About your ex’s mother and family, I don’t know the whole story but I would guess they just have a lot on their minds now and maybe aren’t acknowledging every supportive message they get, polite as it might have been to do so. Have you maintained a friendship with your ex? If not maybe he just thinks it’s strange you’re asking to do something when you’re not together anymore.

Love your username, btw.

You have some great points chant but I see things a little different. I am a recovered PPD and PPD absolutely is based in fears about what others think of you. It isn't necessarily about people attempting to actively harm you although you can have thoughts of that at times. If you had thoughts of people trying to harm you all the time then that would be delusional disorder which PPD can become if left untreated.
Capy you absolutely have the same thinking pattern I use to have before I resolved my disorder. Good for you for finding that and being openminded. Acceptance as we all know is the first step to recovery! PPD in all respects and its symptoms virtually revolves around the fact that the patient has an obsession with what people think of them. Specifically chronic concerns that others think poorly of them or are spreading terrible rumors of them. This perception can be absolutely exhausting emotionally! Trust me I know I lived that way for years. The bright side is the fact that if you were to have a personality disorder I think paranoid is one of the most likely to be treatable. Perhaps I am biased by my personal success to cure myself of it, but one of the great things about having PPD is you want to understand others but especially yourself. So you already have incentive to be open minded to the fact that you may have a personality disorder. Thus you have found whats been holding you back in life and you should rejoice in that fact because now you can grow into something greater!

I had all the symptoms you described in your story. I was so suspicious of everyones thoughts of me and would watch for slights in conversation and think that professors didn't like me if I did poorly in class. All those things and i'm sure many more symptoms that we probably have shared experiences in.

The thing you must work to realize now is that most peoples thoughts and actions have absolutely nothing to do with you and thus you don't have to worry! For some PPDs this can be hard to wrap their mind around. It was a little bit that way for me but I love analyzing things into logical sense and I could see the logic in the fact that it did appear most people did actions and said things out of their own "world" of perception and largely have nothing to do with what they think of you. PPDs hate ambiguity in human beings because they want to know exactly what other people think of them. PPDs need to realize though ambiguity is natural human nature. The silence that your ex and his family have after your message probably has nothing to do with you. If shes sick or dying thats a very emotionally and time consuming experience for their entire family and they are probably focusing on being their for her right now. They probably appreciated what they said but have much more imminent concerns and have been silent because the concerns they are having don't give them time to think or respond to you. First off don't feel bad for leaving that message. Saying something like that shows the true compassion you carry in your heart for others and show what a good person you are. There is nothing to be ashamed about no matter how they react to that. No ones opinion or actions can take away that part of you. So trust yourself and let go of your fear of ambiguity in yourself and others and appreciate yourself for the great person you are. I could go into more detail on stuff you can do to help yourself the way I helped myself. Either way rejoice in the fact that you're someone who's strong enough despite whatever problems you may have to find ways to better yourself. Let me know and I can go into more details about any questions you have in relation to how I experienced the disorder and my experience of curing myself out of it as well or just what the medical perception is on everything.


Before I submit this post too I'll mention the most important idea that saved me:

The idea/perception of trust has nothing to do about how others or yourself are behaving. Trust is a state of mind that you can choose to have or not have for others. So its okay to let go of how others are acting or what you think they think of you! Just appreciate others for who they are and appreciate yourself for who you are and you'll slowly learn to enjoy life more day by day! Good luck on the road to recovery!

You don't have Paranoid Personality Disorder, the reason why I know this is because I have it and was diagnosed about 12 years ago. I am 40 years old now and can tell you it affects every part of your life and the way you see people.

Replying to Conclave about recovering from PPD, you don't recover from PPD I doubht you have it because if you did you would know that you can't completely recover from this condition, you might be able to alleviate the symptoms but would not cure it completely. I myself have it and was diagnosed 12 years ago and am 40 now but I can tell you that you could treat me for six months and see an improvement but if you then sent me to work in a Call Centre/large office the feelings would soon come back with all those people.

Hi,

I'm new, have never been on a forum, amongst other things because I have this 'mania' that someone/ones has robbed my identity and is posting things on Internet and has access to everything I do online including emails(I even think my phone is hacked). But I've been reading and feel very related to some PPD,and APD.

I very much relate to the first post. I know what she is saying about thinking people don't like you and making up a theory on how they all agree and talk and laugh about you behind your back. Because of m paranoias, I moved country and started working with ŷoung children whom I've always connected very well with. How ever my paranoia is still here and I will wonder why more than once a man, different ones, will come to stand next to me when I'm browsing at a store and will not move until I go away or why I went to a takeaway and the waiters started making noises like wolfs and say things in another language while staring at me(and not in a flrting way) or why two of my landladys were that interested to go into my Internet activity(and this last thing I know for certain).

I am in a low now and I had decided to go to the take away tonight and ask those waiters form the take away why? Do they feel morally superior to me for some reason? However I was really scared and I wrote to just answer and was told not to do it because I might make things escalate. Now I am just thinking they would have most likely asked what was I talking about and it wouldn'thave solvd anything because I wouldn't have believed them.
So I don't know what to do now, just feeling depressed and binge eating and very isolated. Anyone with PPD has had any success self helping? I do have a ,10 year with gaps, history trying with help(psychologist, medication, CBT...) and I don't feel any improvement, only that with age I might get a bit less anxious with social situations but mainly because I totally avoid them in my personal life.

I had success recovering. It took a hell of a lot of therapy though. Paul I did have it but I came out of it at the age of 23. I know they are looking at saying personality settles in around 25 and if you were diagnosed at 28 then maybe that makes it harder to recover at this point for you but I would be skeptical of that to be honest...Righteousness is the end of creativity and believing there is no cure will only give you just that. Now I do still struggle hearing the fear voices in the back of my head at times but I know it is just the old PPD thoughts and I ignore it. The more I work into healthier behaviors and thought processes the quieter those voices get and the less strength the fear programming in my mind has. I had PPD and it affected every aspect of my life and how I viewed people as you describe. I had it but not anymore and now I am living proof that one can get better.

My case is quite different then. My paranoia was very mild until my adolescence and since then increased more and more until I had a crisis at 30. Now I'm 44 so I guess I should be hoping to be able to have made some advancement by the time I retire...

can't diagnose people with anything based on a paragraph. but if you're consistently paranoid about things and there isn't a better explanation, looking at paranoia as an issue in itself might be helpful.

For people who think they've been hacked and worry they're paranoid.. stop caring about whether you've been hacked. become lazy. don't give a $#%^. If it works you know you're not paranoid (Then you can go back to being irritated.)

Thanks Katana, I will try not to give a ****, but I am not sure it will work since it is not triggered by me worrying about hackers but more by how some strangers behave towards me (I know, a psychiatrist would say, I assume they behave). Anyhow lost some confidence in anything working since I read in an info post here that it is sort of a chronic condition.

I also have to say it makes me "sad/uncomfortable?" that most of the posts on PPD are written by desperate family/friends(it deeppens my sense of hopelessness and worthlessness).