Dealing with Paranoids

I'm glad to hear you guys talking about knowing that you are thinking the wrong thing...my husband has only recently started with delusional paranoid thinking and it's scaring me to death. He quit his job and I'm afraid his new one will go soon too. I'm begging him to get help...he won't..he doesn't think anything's wrong except that people are wronging him...his paranoid thinking has turned into this all consummig mess..it's all he talks about, thinks about..and his anger with me for not believing him is out of control. What can I do?

I appreciate kjacob's advice about asking a ppd partner if everything is ok... although I have done that in the past and she often gets defensive about that too. My gf seems to think that there's "something wrong with her" (words that her mind would think) and I think she thinks that I think that "something is wrong with her" Therefore she gets defensive as she craves to be perceived as normal. I honestly am trying to help and I need to work on communicating that better using the right words and tone of voice.

She is recently going through severe mood swings, one day to the next can change (we don't live together). Can anyone advise if that is a PPD symptom , or perhaps just stress (which has also increased at work and her oldest son going into the army)? I'm leaning towards stress being the cause. I fear I'm overanalyzing her, however I don't want to misinterpret these new mood swings either.


Dave

This thread has been very helpful...currently I am dealing with a soon-to-be ex-roommate who I suspect strongly has PPD. It's really hard to hold up in the face of the things she is accusing me of - it's like she's attacking the fundamental way that I view what kind of person I am. There seems to be no way to convince her that she could possibly be wrong. So right now, I'm working on letting go of the obsessive need to "prove" that I'm not the way she thinks I am - because it's clearly always going to be a losing battle.

This experience has really opened my eyes - I never knew such a disorder existed - I knew people could get it into their heads that the government was conspiring against them, or that they were being videotaped everywhere they went, but my roommate's fears are more based in credible (seeming) reality, and for a long time I really questioned myself as to whether I and the other roommate had really wronged her. I never suspected she was mentally ill, but as the evidence mounted up, it became the only logical conclusion...

This thread...

It kind of invoked an emotional response in me, makes me think about the people my paranoia has affected. I've lost friends, alienated loved ones, and just been an all-around pain-in-the-ass. But what I'm trying to say is that people with PPD don't mean to cause problems or hurt people they love, and often we later regret things we do that alienate others.

Even though I've been paranoid for a long time, I don't exactly know how to deal with someone who has paranoia. I will say trying to get them "help" against their will is a bad thing, because "help" is one of the things paranoid people fear most. Intervention-style techniques are VERY bad.

One thing I've noticed about paranoia is that I'm always trying to rationalize my irrational fears. As a result, I have a very logical thought process, and have grown to like things like math and puzzles. For anyone that reads this thread, It's pretty likely that the paranoid person you know likes to play games, solve puzzles, or do anything that stimulates logical thought. I could be wrong though.

*

I'm a diagnosed Schizoid person with a Narcissistic co-morbidity and I have a Paranoid sister.
As you can well guess, we don't get along. I've resorted to ignoring her to the point where she ("it") doesn't exist anymore. She's just some random person in the house. And I will continue to do so until she has resolved her issues HERSELF.
I have issues with MY personality abnormalities, but I have learned to be very careful how I act around other people (especially with my Narcissistic characteristics). I'm cold and aloof due to my schizoid personality but I've learned to imitate social interaction (although they aren't real). I laugh (usually without finding anything funny), I show concern (mostly without caring), and I support (although I just want to be alone) - but I go through the pains of doing these things within society.

If a person cannot control their actions and moods and refuses to get help, then what else is there to say.

This is how I deal with Paranoid Personality Individuals. I'm not saying it's correct, but as far as I'm concerned, it works.

Thanks.

survivor1000 wrote:A good way to deal with a PPD person, which I have tried successfully on my dad, is to stop them cold in their tracks mid conversation as they start to go on a paranoid rant...

Thanks for this. I'm currently dealing with my father who seems to have this disorder. I'm the only one left in the family who is regularly speaking to him (several family members have severed their relationship with him because he's quite toxic). I'm finding my weekly visits with him very stressful and upsetting, mainly because I'm never sure which of his moods he'll be in: Paranoid, Depressed/Helpless, Superior/Angry, or Clingy. I like your advice because it seems quick, easy and can be done in a "jokey" tone.

He's driving me insane, however, and I'm considering going into therapy to deal with the frustration and stress, and also to learn how to better deal with/help him.

I'm glad to have found this site and forum!

I'm faced with the exact same situation with my wife who has been diagnosed with Paranoid Personality disorder. Things are getting worse by the day. I need to understand how I can cope with this situation without quitting and moving on to a life without her. We're married 15 years and have 3 kids who are suffering the brunt of her irrational behavior. She doesn't believe a word I say. Her immediate family supports her and also believes likewise that my motives are malicious. This has been observed to be a pattern in her entire family. She lives in the belief that I'm her mortal enemy and that I'm out to destroy her and leave her with nothing. All this because I tried to help her by taking her to see a Doctor. She doesn't want to go to any Doctor now nor does she want any counselling but is steadfast in her beliefs that I'm out to divorce her. I'm pretty desperate now and need help from people who understand my plight. I fear that she is going to attract the very fears she's living with because I'm not going to be able to take it any longer and will have to move on with my life.


Rxxx

Thank you very much for all these posts. For the past 23 years I have been dealing with my mother who I have always suspected of having PPD.

She comes from a very poor family; my grandmother had 11 children and lived in very cramped conditions. My mother is the youngest and as a result she was bullied, neglected and beaten by her siblings even when she was a young woman, my grandmother was powerless to protect her as she depended on her other children for food and other essentials. She keeps telling me the same stories over and over again of her ordeals.

She saved herself for marriage, however she was rightly suspicious of her husband who was in fact cheating on her even whilst she was pregnant with me. At court my father denied that I was his. Again one of many stories she keeps telling me over and over again.

When I was younger she used to lose her temper with me quite a lot when I was being naughty to the point where started beating me. I did lie, I did disobey. The beatings became more and more frequent, as well as progressively more violent. She was always on the look out for any sign that I might be becoming "like my father" or like one of my cousins who went to prison. Even the tiniest incident such as playing with my mouth when I was told not to would result in a violent beating, as this was a complete disrespect to her authority and a path to becoming "like my father".

The beatings stopped when I reached the age of 16-17 but even now we still have arguments where she resorts to ignoring me. She tends to get angry about the tiniest little details as she justifies that these things are actions aimed against her.

We live with my aunt and her husband; mother hates this man and gets angry at things such as the man not putting the soap in the correct place. She doesn't speak to him or her sister anymore even though we live in the same house. I don't speak to the either. Admittedly, my aunt is a kleptomaniac, attention seeker and also has a short temper (short temper seems to run in the family).

At every confrontation she will bring up every single bad incident in her life and things that I've done when I was younger and concluded that I am colluding with my aunt and her husband to try and oppress her. The only way to end the confrontation and calm her down is by admitting I'm in the wrong and seeking her forgiveness.

I love my mother very much as she has done some great sacrifices for me (which I will not discuss) and is the only person that has really been there for me when I needed her. However, my relationship with her is always getting weaker and weaker. I am reluctant to maintain a conversation with her as her only topic is the bad things others are doing, specially my aunt and her husband. Extended conversations also usually lead to me and her loosing our tempers. I usually reply with "yes miss", "no miss" and not contribute any further.

I really want to help her as I am her only child and don't want to see her go to some home or live by herself as she always threatens to do, I want to take care of her in old age.

I also deal with a girlfreind who has i think PPD, im at my wits end.Shes says something happened in JAN of this past year that hurt her so bad that she quit hurting and has moved on and doesnt want me in her life anymore,shes always accuesing me of cheating on her when im sitting at home 98 percent of the time i dont talk to anybody i dont have a FB account because of her anymore,she claims i poisoned her with a drink one night and she still thinks up stuff like that i dont know what to tell you my friend how to cope with it its caused me to have panic attacks and i am currently taking wellbutrin and talking to a pys to help me with my damged heart:( the only thing ive found that helps me and its a negative is to drink i thought i had found my soulmate in this girl but ive been crushed by her and i know she prolly cant help it im in a lose lose situation if i didnt have my mom around i prolly would have just drunk myself to death i wish you the best of luck dealing with this its a hard road to go down i still love my girl but im pretty sure shes gone from my life:(