Dealing with Paranoids

Hi all,

I would like to ask people with Paranoid Personlaity Disorder, How to deal with you?

Because trust is a major barrier to understanding.

Should an issue, a problem arise, What is the best way to deal with you?

Any suggestion or advice is welcome?

in my experience with slight psychoses i would say to comfort that person and try to rationalise.. make him/her see the value of their fear, counter it with true value, and stand by their side so they can feel your support..

to explain my advise; my slight psychoses consist of conspiracy theories of my friends against me. i don't trust anybody at that moment and i see betrayel in every corner..
note that my advise is only based on my own experience!

good luck!
rose

My husband has paranoid personality disorder. When he believes in something, i.e. Im cheating, a thief, a liar, drug addict, there is no talking him out of his delusion. It is so hard to try not to defend yourself, but it is not worth it. I have a problem with trying to do it myself, let alone stay calm about these ridiculous accusations. I have been told to just state "I am sorry that you believe that to be true, but it is not" Don't let him/her get you into a fight, because nothing will come of it. My husband constantly accusing me of things and even when it passes, he will bring it up in another fight.
I am so sorry that you must deal paranoia. I am the center of all of his paranoia and all of his blame. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to face. Good luck.

Thank you -- Firnlothwen --

Thank you -- arg --


eli

Firnlothwen wrote:in my experience with slight psychoses i would say to comfort that person and try to rationalise.. make him/her see the value of their fear, counter it with true value, and stand by their side so they can feel your support..

to explain my advise; my slight psychoses consist of conspiracy theories of my friends against me. i don't trust anybody at that moment and i see betrayel in every corner..
note that my advise is only based on my own experience!

good luck!
rose

oh my goodness, Rose, I go through that exact same thing. It is soo horrible, its getting a little better, in that I know I can trust my close friends, but when someone new comes into my life, like my (ex) boyfriend I just think that everything they are doing is to deceive me or to lead to a bigger plan of hurting me. Its horrible, and it is a part of my OCD because I then search everything I can to find out if they are talking about me behind my back. Its a horrible, horrible thing to go through.

resident_kat wrote:

Firnlothwen wrote:in my experience with slight psychoses i would say to comfort that person and try to rationalise.. make him/her see the value of their fear, counter it with true value, and stand by their side so they can feel your support..

to explain my advise; my slight psychoses consist of conspiracy theories of my friends against me. i don't trust anybody at that moment and i see betrayel in every corner..
note that my advise is only based on my own experience!

good luck!
rose

oh my goodness, Rose, I go through that exact same thing. It is soo horrible, its getting a little better, in that I know I can trust my close friends, but when someone new comes into my life, like my (ex) boyfriend I just think that everything they are doing is to deceive me or to lead to a bigger plan of hurting me. Its horrible, and it is a part of my OCD because I then search everything I can to find out if they are talking about me behind my back. Its a horrible, horrible thing to go through.

Especially for the target of your conspiracy theories.

hi kat,

i know what you mean. and when it becomes really bad, i can explain everything as part of that conspiracy..
it has become a bit better with me as well, in the way that i don't think as often as i did that they are only out to hurt me.

and somebody new in my life? well, lets just say that they would have to prove themselves quite a bit before i trust with anything..

Firnlothwen & resident_kat,

So you both mostly don't trust until you get closer to people? Like --- you trust a close friend? I have no clue what that must feel like-- I don't trust-- no matter how much I know someone. Even my husband, I am so anxious about him working in an office-- around other people. He could have an affair-- or decide to hang out with the "guys" all the time--- and where does that leave me?

I don't have or ever did have a close friend----- my thoughts keep me at a safe distance-- and if someone tries to get too close -- I will seek escape from them. I'm thinking that it's a good thing how you two can feel comfortable, at least around people you know well. Thanks for sharing...... it's interesting to read how others feel and think.

Eli,
If you're still reading this thread...... I agree, "trust is a major barrier to understanding". you asked---What is the best way to deal with an issue or problem with PPD's?--- this is difficult to answer, as it does depend on what's going on. I would say though, the very first thing is--- to validate -- even if it doesn't make sense to you-- it probably makes perfect sense to the PPD person. Knowing that one is being listened to is a HUGE thing..... not saying you have to agree--- just that you are listening and they know you are listening.

Not sure if other PPD's are like this but I put up "instant defense" when spoken to with judgemental words--- like "You're thinking is nonsense or "You're being ridicules"-- see those words "nonsense" and "ridicules" are judgemental words that put me in defense mode and alert me that the person that speaks them are against me. So, perhaps if you tried hard not to use any negative judging words.... the PPD person may not feel so much that you are against them. Words-- are VERY powerful--- again--- I'm not sure if others are like this.... but words carry a lot of weight in relationships for me. I just now wondered---- could that be something that PPD's have, a "sensitive focus" on words that most other people don't??

Anyway, hope some of this helped. You sound like a very kind person to ask about this, in regard to someone you care about.
Good luck

mariposa
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Many thanks mariposa

That was good advice, It is also common sense,

Yes, threatening words, does not solve any problem, rather escalates hostility with PPD and non PPD.

thank you

mariposa,
there's one person in my life i trust, and have ever trusted. and that's my fiance.
as for others, they consider me to be a close friend because i'm always there for them. but they still don't know me, even after 10 years. i just can't let them in..