Fear of Schizophrenia

Hello. I have long story. Ive always had a fear of developing HIV or schizophrenia. Recently Ive become obsessed with devoloping schizo. I went about 2 weeks obseSsing about HIV barely sleeping or eating. Then one night when I wAs trying to sleep I thought I heard dogs barking outside. Then I thought "omg what if I hallucinated that!?" after that I spiraled out of control. I'm always looking for sounds or things. I even started developing hypagogic hallucinations At night. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and thought I heard my husband moving I'm the bed but he wasn't so I thought omg I'm going crazy. I have a 3 year old son and I keep thinking I'm gonna go insane and not gonna be able to be here for him. It makes me so sad. Anytime I start dozing off I hear things that aren't there. I keep thinking I'm going schizo. Please anyone help. I went to the psych and she prescribed me trazadone for sleep and depression.

This is really, really common for people with anxiety. I experienced it myself and I know of tons of other people who have too. I think what is going on right now is that you are really sensitized and you have a lot of adrenaline flowing through you all the time, and both of these things are causing you to over react and turn everything into something really catastrophic and dramatic.

And the less you eat, and the less you sleep, the worse its going to get. Imagine your child when he doesn't get his nap, and how everything turns into this dramatic ordeal, and its like he thinks the world is going to end? That is you right now. You are so mentally exhausted that you aren't thinking clearly or rationally and you are having a hard time keeping it together. You aren't mentally ill....you are just really stressed out.

You can keep going like this and it won't get any better. Or you can start taking better care of yourself and fix what the real problem is. And that is that you don't rest enough or take care of yourself the way you should and you are on stress overload.

Thanks for ur reply. Another reason I'm asking is that I went thru a deep depression a couple of weeks before I started "hallucinating" at night. I drank a ton of alcohol, didn't get much sleep and one night Even drank some mouthwash as a dare. Now I can't get over the fact that I did all of this Thinking I triggered something. What if drinking mouthwash triggered schizophrenia? Look I know how dumb that looks as I read it but I have so terrified I dont know what to do with myself. I'm sick to my stomach over all of this

You know what it sounds like to me is that you are just a little more aware of the processes of the mind than most people. This meta-cognition makes you realize that your mind actually acts as the operating system of your thoughts. You may realize how strange "perception" is altogehter.

You seem to have a bit of obsessive thought, where you take what you imagine to be one of the worst things that could happen, and then you focus on it. I've been there. It's definitely an anxiety condition, but existential angst like you are experiencing is quite normal. Once you realize the game is up, you can start to question reality and your perceptions. That just makes you a philosopher!

But beginning a regimen of fluoxetine helped me with my obessive thought and anxiety. Please consult your doctor about it. It really reduced the power of these thoughts, and now when they pop up, I just kind of notice it and shrug it off.

I spent about 2 years of my life believing I had schizophrenia. I actually had a relative who was, so I thought that my odds were increased. People with schizophrenia often don't believe there is anything wrong. Many people with anxiety are convinced they are going crazy.

I promise you that you don't have it. I have done so much research in the past 18 years about it. I was convinced the noise my loud refrigerator made at night were "voices" that I had read about. Schizophrenics have delusions and usually not visual hallucinations, (mostly loud, clear, and commanding voices).the onset is usually in the teen years. I was so convinced I had it that i actually drove myself twice to a mental hospital pleading with them to take me in...only to hear "You're not crazy, just anxious!"

Hi ,

It sound like OCD. I know how you feal and I have same thing also. I was convinced that I am developing paranoid type after I found out that other types you cant get in my age...I am 33. Main thing is to stop reading forums and research as it is the way you keep your fear stronger. After months of research of schiz every parainoid symptom that I saw on web poped on my mind even I know that it is irrational it scares me..how could I think about that...I am schizo definately etc. I saw few shrinks and all said that I am not and now I am at therapy at best guy in the country and main thing that you need to know is: This is OCD and when you have it you cant get schiz your brain create thoughts to worry and scare you

It is not schiz definately and take care

Cheers