not coping that well, any advise?

hey everyone, i was diagnosed with panic disorder feb this year but looking back iv had it quite a while, due to bulying and beatings at skool and kids in the street, iv always been dizzy and faint and very anxous bout going out specially on my own. but i was coping ok, (not knowing anything was wrong and just asuming i was nervous about what had happened before) untill feb this year, id just moved out for the first time and a guy who had a flat in the same house as me who had mental illness's and was very messed up started stalking me, bursint into me room demanding sex and bein very threatning. i came to no actually harm as such and he has now been sectioned for life but since this happened iv been a total mess. i have been on cilalopram since it happened whish at first once it had kicked in helped me a great deal, but now i feel like iv taken a very big step backwards and im a mess, my manager at work is great and understands and im very open about it with everyone i work with but my manager isnt round much and its hard to explain to my section leaders whats going on, its like they dont believe me? this guy used to shop where i work too so i get abit jumpy when ppl that look like him walk by, but because i was ok for a while they think im just playing on it. i work very hard and i jus dunno how to tell them so they take me seriously?

iv discovered that a friend of mine also has panic disorder and talking to him makes me feel better, like its not all in my head, but talking to him and looking it up iv not seen anything to do with memory loss? which i struggle with quite badly, is this part of it? my doctor isnt a man of many words and when i asked he said that it is pd thats causing it but as iv not seen it anywhere else it just worried me?

if anyone has any advise on dealing with it i would be very greatful, sometimes im so dizzy i cant stand and just feel like my heads in the clouds and ppl and sometimes customers at work are talking to me and im just day dreaming as if they dont egsist? its scary, and i forget words and manes and where iv put things... and thats what i get anxous about and set myself off. when i get dizzy its like my eyesight goes weird? im not sure how to explain it, i can see clear but its like my eyes and my brain arnt talking? i dont know if they tiredness and dizzyness is due to not sleeping too well? i have nightmares of being chased and ppl trying to kill me, waking up and jumping out of bed in the night?

i dont even know if all this is normal for panic disorder? just feel abit lost atm.. scares me cos i dont know whats going on? its almost constant now, not just 3 or 4 times a day i fel like it 90% of the time its stopping me living and doing things

reading through the forum iv noticed there is a big connection with depression, and im a very positive person and do not suffer with depression, i have in the past but only for a short while over a very bad time but i do not feel like that now. i think i was hoping my positive attitude would pull me through this which i s why im getting so distressed with it now its getting worse?

One big thing to do with anxiety & panic is to figure out what the triggers are. You know that some has to do with the bullying etc ( I dealt with it too) ... it seems to me that the stalking issue is enough to trigger this hon..

Are you sure that you may not be possibly dealing with PTSD bullying, being stalked and threatened cause be very traumatizing. I was threatened to be raped by my ex (who used it to rape me etc) and by someone else, it's extremely stressful.

The jumpiness could be related to the PTSD , it's a classic symptom when you've been traumatized hon...memory loss is also a symptom of ptsd.


The only way to get rid of anxiety is to face the fears that cause it, and deal with the triggers, though I think it's more then just anxiety, and if I'm right it may be best to go and talk to someone because of what your ex flat mate did, etc.


For dizziness all you can do is rise slowly hon, it's hard to just get rid of that symptom... for the "heads in the clouds" it sounds like derealization, or possibly maybe even a symptom of ptsd... The eye site is likely do from being dizzy, but it could also just be you being panicky or anxiety, you can get symptoms of anxiety without feeling panicky. Not sleeping well and feeling really tired can make you feel that way too.. Have you had the nightmares all the time, or did it just happen after the stalking and the threat?

It can be normal of anxiety hon, but it also could be PTSD related... or both.

I've dealt with both anxiety & PTSD since 16 when I was diagnosed, I dealt with anxiety longer then that... the only way I was able to deal with the anxiety is the help of medication (which doesn't get rid of it but helps with symptoms), therapy to learn how to cope and deal with the anxiety, as well as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), also getting self-help books. One book in particular has been extremely helpful for my anxiety it's called Don't Panic by R.Reid Wilson, ph.d it turned my whole thinking process around with anxiety. Also acknowledging the anxiety, being aware that yes it's there, and it does disappear. Also what helped me was writing things down to keep track of the triggers. What I was doing, where I was at the time, my symptoms, automatic thoughts etc.

I'm anxiety free pretty much now but it took over a decade to get where I am now.

With the PTSD it's pretty much gone (though like anxiety will always be with me) but it's controlled and only shows up when triggered.

Is there someone that you can talk to therapy wise? Or perhaps go to your doctor and see if s/he can help you to see someone...

I've also felt all that you feel now hon, it's normal for anxiety & PTSD.. you mentioned depression it's possible you could have that too, but it's always best to go and talk to your doctor, find a therapist to work with and start the process of dealing with it.

I totally sympathise with you. Panic and anxiety can manifest itself in many different ways - not always according to the textbook in my view. I know because I've been there and am still working on myself. I know it can feel incredibly frightening and bleak but awareness is the first step. So this is a good start and there is lots you can do to help yourself: websites, books, counselling, relaxation CDs and of course visit your GP to get advice. The choice is yours. In terms of confiding in people I have found that others find it very hard to understand if they haven't actually experienced it themselves. Its not that people don't believe you. If you do decide to approach HR or your manager at work then give them some material to read or a website for them to refer to. So many people suffer with this, for a variety of reasons, so there ought not to be any stigma attached to it. The most important thing is the way you decide to deal with it and put it across to them. I have found that one of the best ways of dealing with anxiety and panic is exercise - be it a walk or something more energetic.

Its really helped me to talk to others with similar experiences. Theres lots more I could say so let me know if you have any questions.

thank you for your help, iv been feeling alot better, someone said to me 'know when an attack is coming on and deal with it', and iv just learnt somehow to not panic when i feel my belly starting, doesnt always work, and im not quite sure how i do it, i just dont think about it cos i know whats going on and its nothing scary so i distract my mind and most the time it goes away. and since iv been on iv moved in with a very good friend and im out of the house that it all happened in so i feel a fresh start, and i was told good diet too so im off the junk food and walking n swimming loads and it works a treat im surrounded with positive ppl now and the main help is actually remembering to take my tablets! iv stil got memory problems like i couldnt tell you what i did yesterday sometimes and i keep forgetting words but now its say 3 days a week of bad memory not all week! i mean i know im on a good patch and ill prob read this in 2 days time in tears cos i feel worse but iv found they key is to not let yourself milk it, dont make a deal out of it and just get on with it. im not saying anyone else milks it but you know what i mean... its just how its working for me. and your right, im gonna take some web sites in and stuff for mny boses to read then they can understand me a little better. the only thing thats still really bad is my nightmares, i think its my tablets, iv never had a nightmare in my life till i started them, and its every night, sometimes 2 or 3 a night, some are fears like ppl i love telling me to leave n go away like real nasty hurtful arguments and others are of ppl i dont know trying to kill me, chase me shoot me all sorts and its like a game, when they get me its starts over and in the new dream i remember the last one? and it goes quicker, spose that anxiety? i mean im sleeping fine n dont feel like iv not slept or anything. but they r so real that ill wake up believing it was true. is there relaxation things i could do before bed or something that would help stop them?

Hey you - stop worrying. It sounds like you are doing really well. I know what you mean about sometimes you feel in control and sometimes you dont. Maybe you need to learn a few techniques for dealing with that. Breathing is important because one tends to hyervenilate just prior to an attack and that can feel quite scary. But it is nothing to be scared of - its just a normal reaction. Its great that you are surrounded by good people. That is so important, even if they don't understand your position.

With your nightmares, well it may just be your meds. Otherwise its nothing to worry about. It just your mind trying to sort things out and you feeling incrediby insecure about yourself. I've had those nightmares too, when you wake up feeling its still true. Not very nice.

In terms of memory loss. That could be your med or perhaps you are suffering with clinical depression? Nothing to be alamed about but just consult your dr.

I've been using various relaxation CDs before bed. Not sure If am allowed to mention by whom on this website and have to be respectful of that. If you have access to the internet just to a google on it and I'm sure it will come up with something useful to you.

More importantly do you have an issue to vent? Are you upset about something? If so here is a great way to get it off your chest! You can talk to me.

Loads of love to you Ax

missp wrote:thank you for your help, iv been feeling alot better, someone said to me 'know when an attack is coming on and deal with it', and iv just learnt somehow to not panic when i feel my belly starting, doesnt always work, and im not quite sure how i do it, i just dont think about it cos i know whats going on and its nothing scary so i distract my mind and most the time it goes away. and since iv been on iv moved in with a very good friend and im out of the house that it all happened in so i feel a fresh start, and i was told good diet too so im off the junk food and walking n swimming loads and it works a treat im surrounded with positive ppl now and the main help is actually remembering to take my tablets! iv stil got memory problems like i couldnt tell you what i did yesterday sometimes and i keep forgetting words but now its say 3 days a week of bad memory not all week! i mean i know im on a good patch and ill prob read this in 2 days time in tears cos i feel worse but iv found they key is to not let yourself milk it, dont make a deal out of it and just get on with it. im not saying anyone else milks it but you know what i mean... its just how its working for me. and your right, im gonna take some web sites in and stuff for mny boses to read then they can understand me a little better. the only thing thats still really bad is my nightmares, i think its my tablets, iv never had a nightmare in my life till i started them, and its every night, sometimes 2 or 3 a night, some are fears like ppl i love telling me to leave n go away like real nasty hurtful arguments and others are of ppl i dont know trying to kill me, chase me shoot me all sorts and its like a game, when they get me its starts over and in the new dream i remember the last one? and it goes quicker, spose that anxiety? i mean im sleeping fine n dont feel like iv not slept or anything. but they r so real that ill wake up believing it was true. is there relaxation things i could do before bed or something that would help stop them?

That's key to stopping anxiety in it's tracks, be aware of an upcoming symptom and squash it. It can be hard to do at times but it can be conquered. Distracting your mind is key, also acknowledge it, know that it's there yes, OK so then you just say- well yes I'm a bit uncomfortable, but really there is nothing to be anxious over, I know it goes away, it always does... and then bam it's gone...

Sugars and other foods can defiantly trigger anxiety.... so if you know that you feel anxious then stay away from certain foods, caffeine and sugar mainly.. as it can make it worse. Exercise and just being around people that make you feel good will help you, it's good you know that they are a good influence and can help you deal with it...

What medication are you on?
I had to get a weekly pill box because I also forgot at times- but since having it I put it out say on my kitchen table, and I know it's there and will remember to take it- or maybe your bedside table. Also if you find yourself constantly forgetting leave notes everywhere to remind you to take it at what ever time it was prescribe. As a side effect a lot of medications can give you nightmares, I had some weird dreams myself... how long have you been on it for ?

Anxiety can trigger dreams like that for sure, or just stress in general can cause you to have messed up dreams. My dreams are constantly messed up where they never EVER make sense.....

There is a ton of relaxation techniques that can help...
http://www.mindtools.com/stress/Relaxat ... roPage.htm
http://www.umm.edu/sleep/relax_tech.htm

Try any of those in the above links they could be helpful...

thank you guys, yeah iv def got the attacks under control now, had some sticky situations today n i was calm as a cucumber i have moments of breathless but no panic after. yeah i guessed the nightmares where from my meds as i didnt have them before, but my memory loss was before i started on them? i mean iv always been a forgetful blonde sort of thing but it so uch worse now, forgetting words mid sentence and what i did all week and odd things