How to break the cycle?

I've suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life. My primary coping mechanism has always been drugs and alcohol (which I know is not healthy). But recently I was arrested and placed on probation with strict instructions that I not use any alcohol or drugs. Being newly sober, I've gone straight into panic mode. Even my medicine (I'm prescribed Lamictal and Seroquel) isn't helping. My mind is constantly racing, I've been having panic attacks like crazy and I've been seeing things that aren't there (shadows mostly). This gets worse at night or when I'm alone. I'm constantly on edge, irritable...But the worst part of it is, I'm giving back into the fear (a few years ago, when I was going though a sober period I could barely leave the house, my fear and anxiety and paranioa were so severe) and am afraid if I don't pull myself out of this soon, if I give into the fear it will just get worse. But I don't know how to do that without using drugs/alcohol...

Have you ever sought out therapy for anxiety? You can learn amazing coping methods to help with the anxiety, booze and drugs are definatly going to have a negative effect on it, and wont help you at all in the long run.

The only way to get rid of anxiety is to figure out what is causing it, and face it. For me I find that I anticipate things, and that is what makes me avoid things, I worry about things before they happen, (still do) but i've been dealing with anxiety all my life... i've been in therapy learned to do Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I learned other coping methods, and the best thing for me was self talk and writing down postives to the negative thoughts.

Do you know what it is that is causing the anxiety for you ?

There is also medication that can help with the symptoms of anxiety, but it will not get rid of it for you. However, doctors may be hesitant to give you any if you've abused drugs etc before... but there are other positive ways to help with it.

I've been in therapy for almost a year now but due to some recent circumstances I have been unable to see a therapist for roughly four months now..
As for what causes my anxiety, it seems like it's everything. Just life in general. I've been told several times that I just need to force myself to do things but I'm so afraid that something bad will happen, that I'll get put in some sort of awkward position, that I'll have a panic attack, etc.
I'm big on writing too, getting my feelings out so they don't consume me but even that's not helping any more.
I've been diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. The Seroquel and Lamictal are to help stabilize me and are also supposed to help with my anxiety but my anxiety is so severe that even with the strong dosages I am taking I am still being limited by my anxiety. Like I am prisoner to it.
No matter what I do I can't seem to escape this.

It sounds to me that it could be GAD, being so because you say it's all and everything that is causing you anxiety?

Do you panic, or just get anxious?

You do need to force yourself, and they are right nothing bad happens, the worse that will happen is that you'll be uncomfortable & anxious, but once you are doing it this goes away. Don't shy away when you have a panic attack, remind yourself that you are safe doing this, that it's ok to feel anxious etc... talking like that or thinking it can do wonders.

I used to feel like a prisioner to anxiety.

I was bed ridden for a year, or would not leave my room unless forced, I couldn't go up the street to a friends house, or around the corner to the store to get a pack of gum, so I can relate to exactly what you are feeling.

You can escape it, you need to find the coping methods that work best for you. I still get anxious, hell I was anxious today because my friend came to pick me up (whose also a bridesmaid for our friend's wedding) and we had to go for a dress fitting. I was anxious, but I went and I was fine. Anticipatory anxiety is the worse, I think it's worse then panicking, because if you think something bad will happen if you do this or that, then you will be. A lot of it is mind over matter.

Take little steps, set goals for yourself, not enough to make you go into full blown panic, but just enough to make you have symptoms, then turn back, the next day go a tiny bit further, and keep doing it until you are able to. Also you can take a step back, you are not a failure if you do that, but try not to ignore it, avoid it.

I know it's easier said then done, but i'm proof that you can escape it....

You should look into getting a couple books on anxiety.

The 2 books that helped me the best was:

Don't Panic Taking Control of Anxiety & Panic- By R. Reid Wilson ph.d

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook- Edmund J Bourne Ph.d

I swear by the first book, it turned it around for me, the second book is great to get you to do the simple things again without feeling like you need to flee.