by Forgetmenot » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:01 pm
I can very much relate to what you are feeling and have felt. Sometimes its just the thought of having a panic attack that triggers it off. But there is always something underlying it and sometimes thats a bit difficult to put a finger on as it may have been to do with your past and your body and mind is just catching up with it. I have suffered with panic and generalised anxiety for years on and off. I have managed to control it to a certain degree but there are certain things that have become a 'trigger' and those things I push myself to do in order to try and desensitive myself, purely because they are not rational or reasonable. For example I feel a rising sense of anxiety when I travel on the underground. This may have been triggered by the London bombings but even so, it didn't affect every other commuter in such a way and it annoys me. I have used public transport for years and it never bothered me before so I make myself do it. I am also 'sick' of feeling like this and I refuse to be conquered by it.
My symptoms have varied so much - its not just textbook symptoms. I have felt weak, dizzy, faint, nauseous, numb in areas of my body especially my face, hot and cold sweats, pains, palitations, feeling like I cannot get my breath. The list goes on. The worst thing for me is a feeling of foreboding. Again its totally illogical in the circumstances.
I lost my dad and my job last year and I have had temporary work since (this recession affects us all). Then I had to go on the tube at the weekend to go to the theatre as my mum treated me. The nearer the time came I felt increasingly anxious, partly because I knew the tube ride would be about 45 minutes. But I refused to be defeated and I was absoulutely fine and I had a wonderful evening. Strange as it may seem to most, I was very proud of myself.
It would be good to get your meds sorted out; something that is right for you. But there is a whole lot more you can do by research and reading.
I wish you all the best. You are not alone at this time.
Antonia