Fear of feeling depressed, fear of nog enjoying life/events

Hi everybody.

As many of you i sometimes have thh strangest fears and thaughts.
From time to time a new fear or set of anxious thaughts invade my life.

This time is the fear of not being able to have fun. It started a while ago when I suddenly felt like I was about to cry (but I could not really cry) , just a feeling of sadness. Then I got really scared I was getting depressed. The feeling did not seem continuesly, so I thaught, it's probably not depression, so It went away again for a week. Then it came back.

At times I still think i'm depressed, but at more rational times (i think) i think it' s mainly the fear of that feeling comming when I am doing things in my life that should be fun.

Also when there is some happy event going on, or somebody is talking to me in a happy tone of voice, i feel the feeling of sadness getting stronger. It' s also that i get visibly sad around my eyes, sometimes with watery eyes. But I am not able to cry. And I do not really have anything to be sad about.

It seems like it' s just emotions playing of, and mer fearing those emotions.

Anybody know this feeling?