My 10-y-o daughter is out of control

I had no idea that there was a forum for this! I'm happy to find it, and sad that we're here. My 10-y-o dd was diagnosed with ODD and Reactive Attachment Disorder a few years ago. She is very violent and abusive.

I have 20 units of child development in college, I have read The Explosive Child, we've been in therapy for 6 years. She just keeps getting worse.

The therapy is a joke. She is so beyond removing privileges to motivate her and such. When she is raging and violent, every day and night, there' no negotiating, because she's unreachable.

I know this sounds awful, but I daydream sometimes about her living somewhere else. Recently she stayed overnight at a friend's house (she only hates her family), and her sister and I had such a pleasant evening.

I'm glad that this is here.

hi i would think about getting her reaccessed because she may need meds to calm her down. i know how you feel about sometimes wishing she was somewhere else my husband often talks about boarding school. you also might be able to get restbite care which might be able to give you a break ask your local social services or where she goes therapy they might be able to tell you more. i hope this has helped

Thank you. She's on Zoloft, and Seroquel, but it's not really helping. I will push to have her reassessed. A few months ago a psychiatrist asked her a list of questions and decided that she was just anxious. I started crying. I told her that my other dd and I don't feel safe, and I wanted some help. She put her on the Seroquel, which I think is an anti-psychotic.

My dd has gotten more violent towards me in public lately. Last night, for instance. Beating me while we waited for the train and calling me awful things. She was angry with me because she spilled juice on her sweater. It's so humiliating.

dont feel embarresed by her outbursts in public people are to judgemental at times and this only causes you distress. i would also ask do these meds need changing or different dosing cos it takes a while to balance things just right. i hope this helps

dear futurama,

i have a 13yr old daughter who was dx with odd at age 11. we tried the Total Transformation program with her....it did not help....as a matter of fact she got worse with her rages and began to experiment with self injury. our counselor gave us the name of a therapist who was better suited to handle the complexities of her behaviors. after a few visits she was dx with bpd. i still use some of the techniques taught by the Total Transformation.....positive reinforcement instead of negative discipline, get in get out (no long explanations), natural consequences, etc.... however these technique have to be used in conjunction with her treatment for bpd. have you considered a new therapist? learning about dialectical behavior therapy? i just read a skills book for parents of children with emotional disregulation. very helpful in teaching techniques to help our kids learn self calming and coping skills to deal with their strong emotions.

Since you posted 2 years ago I'm not sure if you'll read this response but I want you to know that I could have written your post myself, down to having read "The Explosive Child." I'm wondering how you are now, two years later? I think that I am where you were then. My daughter just turned 12.