Hi everyone, my 11 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He takes Strattera daily for this. I am divorced from his father, but he sees him twice a week, as I think it's important to keep the relationship strong. I also have a 7 year old, who is an absolute angel. he is the most loving kindest kid you'll meet.
Anyway, my 11yo can be a Jeckly and Hyde. When he's good he can be lovely, funny and even affectionate at times. However, once we have a disagreement, or I tell him to do something he doesn't want to or tell him he can't have/do something he wants, or he bullies his brother and I intervene, he is horrible! He will fight to the death to be right, and totally defy me. He is very intelligent, and often outwits me, even though I'm right. He is making his little brother's life a nightmare. He is always criticizing him, hurting him, bullying him and taking things off him. When he gets fired up, he is just a horrible person hell bent on hurting us. Me and my son have been in tears, and he's there laughing at us. However often later he will come and apologise, but that is often when he wants something.
I just don't know what to do. I feel that I'm a terrible mother, as I am not coping with him. I think the answer would be for him to move in with his father, and the youngest stay with me, and we share-care, but his father works strange shifts and cannot have him full-time. He is making my youngest's live a nightmare, and he doesn't deserve it. His paediatrist isn't much help, she just says to be strong with him, but that's no help when I'm worn down.
Anyway, any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks.