Hi, to all here!
I was on this site years ago, when my daughter was first diagnosed with ODD at age 5. It was such a relief to know that I was not alone and that there is an actual disorder to explain her behavior. At that time, she was put on Wellbutrin and because she made so much improvement for a year on the meds, we thought she must be cured... WRONG!
She is now 13 and if you have an ODD child, you understand what the past 8 years have been like. I am divorced 7 years but am now engaged to a man who is just overwhelmed by the whole thing. But he's remaining supportive (must be a saint)!
So, here is what's happened lately that has brought us to the current desparate situation:
We moved from California to San Antonio before her 7th grade year. She had been a straight A student in Cali but after the move, she was failing. Her story was that she hated me for moving, hated her school, hated the people (she'd told me what it would be like if I moved her, so here was her proof of carrying out the threat). We started discussing moving back to California about 3/4 through the school year. She changed her tune... said she would commit suicide if we moved back-now she loved Texas. Well, the last 1/4 of last school year, she brought up her grades enough to pass. I'm trying to make this story as short as possible!...
Anyway, in the past year, she's filed a false case against my fiance with CPS because she got pissed at him for physically making her go to her room (they closed it after they saw what was happening), I have desperate emails from teachers, extremely questionable friends, cutting herself, manipulation beyond words, suicide threats, physical threats toward me and my son, and last week suspension from school for fighting (the first week of school!). I have given up! We just can't live like this anymore! My finace has moved back to California for work and we need to move, but I am terrified to move her for fear of, as in her words, "how much worse it will be next time" if we move again. Sometimes I feel like I can handle it (on the good days when she chooses to be happy) and on other days I can hardly stand to look at her. We have been to so many "therapists". She refuses to go to anymore.
She cooperates for about 3 visits... Now she says she WILL NOT GO. At this point, I feel like I need to put her inpatient for a 30 "evaluation" or send her to a residential Academy out of state for a year. And I can't fathom having to think about moving...! I am just so exhausted... she gets away with too much because I just don't have any more energy to fight. Friends and family tell us: you're the parents-take control! No #%*# we're the parents! What good does that do when the child has ODD and is bigger than you, eh?!
Anyway, I guess I am just looking for support and advice, experience on what's worked for parents in my position!
Thanks for reading my novel!
God bless to you!
Nicole